# This doesn't work. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 16, 2005, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309 "2005-08-16T19:25:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/101 "2005-08-20T06:07:08Z")
> [@jellyblue](#): > > Your call is very important to us. Please continue to hold and a representative will be with you shortly. Your estimated wait time is /in excess of/ 15 minutes… Please speak or type in your 287 digit serial number slowly. … I’m sorry we don’t have that number in the system, please wait until we transfer you to a human representitive. your wait is now in excess of 35 minutes… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/102 "2005-08-20T06:31:16Z")
Hey, did someone order pizza? There’s a delivery guy here… I want the pepperoni! ---
**Author:** ![jellyblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@jellyblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellyblue)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/103 "2005-08-20T06:57:49Z")
> [@jrfranchi](#): > > Please speak or type in your 287 digit serial number slowly. > … > I’m sorry we don’t have that number in the system, please wait until we transfer you to a human representitive. > > your wait is now in excess of 35 minutes… ::25 minutes later, ringing through to an extension:: Thank you for calling YerFukt Inc. Our business hours are 8:30 til 12:00 and 1:30 til 4:00 CST. Please call back during business hours. Good-bye! AAARRGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! ::bashing at phone, machine and pizza delivery boy with a ball peen hammer:: ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/104 "2005-08-20T07:15:55Z")
If you haven’t got one of your own, go down the street and find an 8 year old kid. They’ll fix it for you in 10 minutes, but you have to pay by being the victim of lots and lots of 8 year old :rolleyes: which might not be worth it. If you can handle the supercilious derision from a kid who is barely out of diapers, then go for it. Otherwise, try heading down to your local pub and buying a new one from the bloke with the goatee who had a truck accident. It might not come with a warranty however. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/105 "2005-08-20T13:20:23Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > Whisky has solved most of my problems. So, we pour whisky on this thing, and… I guess that’s the Homer Simpson method (Here’s to alcohol; the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems). ---
**Author:** ![marque\_elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71c47a/32.png) [@marque\_elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marque_elf)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/106 "2005-08-20T14:27:46Z")
[QUOTE=kambuckta] If you haven’t got one of your own, go down the street and find an 8 year old kid. They’ll fix it for you in 10 minutes, but you have to pay by being the victim of lots and lots of 8 year old :rolleyes: which might not be worth it. If you can handle the supercilious derision from a kid who is barely out of diapers, then go for it. Nattily dressed gentleman enters to find a scene of general confusion, blame is being thrown around like water balloons. He speaks with a very heavy Eastern European accent: “Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Boris Badenov. I represent **We Got Kidz Inc.**. We got kids for solving all kinds of problems. You got technical problems then we got technical kids kidnapped from, I mean hired from, the best schools In Pottsylvania. You need tough kids? We got tough kids. You want smart kids? We got kids so smart it’s scary. Allow me to be introducing Percy, one of our best employees.” Percy is 6 foot 6 inches tall with more muscles than the Pittsburgh Steelers. He is dressed like Little Lord Fauntleroy. He carries a slide rule with notches in it. He speaks and his voice is like distant thunder. “Youse got a problem? I’se never met a problem that me and old Betsy, referring to his slide rule which he is slapping against the palm of his open hand, couldn’t make go away.” Boris says our motto is “We won’t make it worse. It’s Badenov. Anybody seen a moose and squirrel?” ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/107 "2005-08-20T14:50:11Z")
Um…no moose & squirrel but I did see a rhinoceros & weasel a while back. Y’know, I think I’ve got this thing figured out. The demo guy at the flea market did this to one… :: ka-zzzzzzzzzzzzziiiIIIIINNNNGGGGG!! plub plub plub plub plub plub _hic_ pththththtbbbbpppppppptttttttt…_paf_ : oooooooo-k. Nope. ---
**Author:** ![Fromage\_A\_Trois](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Fromage\_A\_Trois](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fromage_A_Trois)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/108 "2005-08-20T15:12:47Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > Um…no moose & squirrel but I did see a rhinoceros & weasel a while back. Both of these are delightful country pubs highly recommended by CAMRA.\* Anyway, if we’ve all forgotten about my previous contribution to this thread, why don’t we try reinstalling the driver? He’s run away? Drat. Right, now if we realign the deflector dish, route it into the idiot detector, and give the whole thing a smack on the side… FOOM! Has anyone seen my eyebrows? \*This joke may not make sense outside the UK. It may not be funny whatever its location. ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/109 "2005-08-20T16:09:22Z")
> [@faldureon](#): > > Hey wait a second I think I can see the problem… Whats that dial-like thing-a-majig over there? I thought they are only supposed to go up to ten… Nope, this one clearly goes up to eleven… ---
**Author:** ![CBCD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@CBCD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CBCD)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/110 "2005-08-21T13:05:05Z")
**RTFM** ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/111 "2005-08-21T16:01:06Z")
Why doesn’t someone use the Force, already? ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/112 "2005-08-21T16:29:29Z")
Mr. Furious: Okay, you know what? You know what? Could we just start again? Is there some sort of like, reset button on this thing? Captain Amazing: No you little freak there’s no button for resetting. Flip the switch lady. Don’t stare at me. Lift your left arm. Flip it, you moron! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309.md?page=5)