This fellow in my office....

SHHHHHHHHHH, come on man, you know they’re watching, listening, SURVAILING! Their agents are everywhere, enforcing the rule of “Things that will/must NEVER be done”. It’s not even safe to think about this stuff! Didn’t you hear about that guy from Operations that came up with a different more streamlined and profitable procedure for dealing with excess plastic knives in a dream he had last month?

I just summon my chi force and shout “kaiyah” and pierce the flimsy plastic with my weapon like fingers, but to each their own.

Wouldn’t eating a pre-packaged meal be a “worse” offense than wasting a single plastic knife? If you are going to be outraged, wouldn’t it make more sense to be outraged that he didn’t bring in a PB&J or something?

I bet if he did, he used one knife for the PB and threw it out, and then another knife for the J and threw it out. Sounds like something he would do.

After you lick the PB off, you’re not supposed to stick it in the J.

I don’t like using the plasticware, and I also see the waste going on.

About once every five years, I go to Walmart and get a bunch of cheapo pot metal flatware. When I say cheap, I mean like it’s 88 cents for a bundle of four forks or spoons. I buy about six bucks worth and fill up our flatware drawers at work. I use them exclusively in lunch preparation and put 'em in the dishwasher. It takes about five years for them all to eventually disappear, and then I replace them with another batch.

It’s nice to use a metal knife and fork on my plate of leftover reheats at work. That plastic stuff bites.

Well, that story went off in a different direction than I was expecting. I was expecting the whole “Did he now see me preparing my lunch? He couldn’t wait his turn? Now I have to wait five minutes for his stupid frozen meal to heat up? I was there first! It’s common office courtesy!”

Because that’s what bothers me.

^ I’m pretty sure we all originally thought that was the direction. I know I did.

Instead of worrying about the waste, consider that every knife he throws away allows you to feel just a little bit superior. That has some value.

Why you go lettin’ your lunch be The Boss of You?

We have napkins in the same quantities. It seems like half the people bringing anything from home to the potluck decide they can also bring napkins. So every party we get like 6 more 6 inch cubes of napkins, and use 2 inches tops. And since things went electronic, the rows and rows of file drawers from the ancient days sit empty, so we can continue to grow our strategic napkin stockpile for another couple generations.

Yes! I have a Party Drawer in the bank of file cabinets where the last paper is dated from five years ago.

I don’t want Stouffer’s mad at me. They control the mac and cheese.