# This is a cocktail bar, not fucking Jamba Juice **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 6, 2007, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-a-cocktail-bar-not-fucking-jamba-juice/406988 "2007-06-06T14:16:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![burundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3ec8ea/32.png) [@burundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burundi)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-a-cocktail-bar-not-fucking-jamba-juice/406988/61 "2007-06-07T15:29:16Z")
This bar doesn’t have a big wine selection, but they usually have two reds and two whites on offer. It caters to a rather Goth crowd, how could they let themselves run out of red wine, fer cryin out loud? ---
**Author:** ![AHoosierMama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/258eb7/32.png) [@AHoosierMama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHoosierMama)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-a-cocktail-bar-not-fucking-jamba-juice/406988/62 "2007-06-07T17:50:33Z")
So I’m in this sushi place that I refer to as the Golden Corral of Sushi, but it is the only one it town. Whaddayagonnado? I make the mistake of ordering a scotch instead of sake or Japanese beer or something. The scotch choices are pretty limited, their best bottle was Macallan. I ordered a double on the rocks. It comes filled to the very brim of the glass with only a couple of mostly melted cubes. Before I even taste it I’m sure it must be VERY watered down - yet still quite a dark color 😕 . Upon drinking, I realize they’ve diluted it with tea! Seems to me that if a person orders a double of your top shelf hooch, you should assume they love booze and will be able to tell if you’ve fucked with it. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-a-cocktail-bar-not-fucking-jamba-juice/406988/63 "2007-06-07T18:00:45Z")
[QUOTE=AHoosierMama] Upon drinking, I realize they’ve diluted it with tea! [/QUOTE] :eek: As an atheist, I’m going to have to rethink my whole stance on mortal sin. That’s as bad a ketchup on a hot dog! ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-a-cocktail-bar-not-fucking-jamba-juice/406988/64 "2007-06-07T18:43:20Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] :eek: As an atheist, I’m going to have to rethink my whole stance on mortal sin. That’s as bad a ketchup on a hot dog! [/QUOTE] Are you kidding me? That’s ten times worse than ketchup on a hot dog! At least there are a lot of otherwise intelligent people who like ketchup on their hot dogs. Tea in your scotch is more like…banana pudding on a hot dog. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-a-cocktail-bar-not-fucking-jamba-juice/406988/65 "2007-06-07T18:53:25Z")
You kidding? I know of a place that could make that taste good. They’s probably call it a Yellow Lab. I still like the Shaggy Dog best. Coleslaw and BBQ sauce – yum! ---
**Author:** ![AngryIrishLass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bbce88/32.png) [@AngryIrishLass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngryIrishLass)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-a-cocktail-bar-not-fucking-jamba-juice/406988/66 "2007-06-07T19:32:41Z")
But I _like_ vodka martinis…probably because I hate gin so much. My Dad loves to order a Rusty Nail, which usually results in a 15min behind the bar whisperfest ending when Dad asks if they want him to make it. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-a-cocktail-bar-not-fucking-jamba-juice/406988/67 "2007-06-07T19:43:04Z")
[QUOTE=AHoosierMama] Before I even taste it I’m sure it must be VERY watered down - yet still quite a dark color 😕 . Upon drinking, I realize they’ve diluted it with tea! Seems to me that if a person orders a double of your top shelf hooch, you should assume they love booze and will be able to tell if you’ve fucked with it. [/QUOTE] This post makes me want to cry. That’s just not right. Also, this whole thread makes me want a martini (yes, gin!). And try an old-fashioned, which I’ve never had. I wonder if I have any rum at home? ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-a-cocktail-bar-not-fucking-jamba-juice/406988/68 "2007-06-07T19:59:06Z")
[QUOTE=badbadrubberpiggy] Also, this whole thread makes me want a martini (yes, gin!). And try an old-fashioned, which I’ve never had. I wonder if I have any rum at home? [/QUOTE] Rum? Why? _eyes you suspiciously_ :dubious: An Old Fashioned contains bourbon or rye as its main ingredient. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-a-cocktail-bar-not-fucking-jamba-juice/406988/69 "2007-06-07T20:20:52Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] Rum? Why? _eyes you suspiciously_ :dubious: An Old Fashioned contains bourbon or rye as its main ingredient. 🙂 [/QUOTE] Good, because I have bourbon! Someone (I forget who) linked to recipes that mainly contained rum as the main ingredient. Maybe I misunderstood & those were the fakey recipes. I did say I’d never had one! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-a-cocktail-bar-not-fucking-jamba-juice/406988/70 "2007-06-07T20:52:07Z")
Yes, I know a couple bars like that. Five pages of strange-ass cocktails and then one little blurb about the ‘plain old boring’ things. What really gets my goat is how much more expensive the new fusion drinks are. They seriously think I’m going to pay 5$ more because they added some fruit juice and a splash of fuck-all. Ugh. Me personally, I drink blue lagoons and I drink dirty martinis. Depends on me mood it does. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-a-cocktail-bar-not-fucking-jamba-juice/406988/71 "2007-06-07T20:53:51Z")
[QUOTE=OpalCat] And so yeah, I like drinks that mask the taste of the liquor. So sue me. [/QUOTE] Same here. It’s about my only girlie-girl quality! ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-a-cocktail-bar-not-fucking-jamba-juice/406988/72 "2007-06-07T20:54:19Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] Are you kidding me? That’s ten times worse than ketchup on a hot dog! At least there are a lot of otherwise intelligent people who like ketchup on their hot dogs. Tea in your scotch is more like…banana pudding on a hot dog. :mad: [/QUOTE] That doesnt sound half bad. Maybe it’s more like green tea ice cream on a hot dog. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-a-cocktail-bar-not-fucking-jamba-juice/406988/73 "2007-06-07T21:53:09Z")
I met my husband at a chain for lunch today. Under the “martini” section of the bar menu were: Cosmopolitan, and Appletini. Neither of which are fucking martinis! Then they had a “martini margarita” which got a huge WTF from me (made with \*brandy \*and tequila - blargh!). ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-a-cocktail-bar-not-fucking-jamba-juice/406988/74 "2007-06-07T22:44:43Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] Rum? Why? _eyes you suspiciously_ :dubious: An Old Fashioned contains bourbon or rye as its main ingredient. 🙂 [/QUOTE] The recipe allows for rum as a substitute. Around here (and my favorite) Southern Comfort is used alot. SC, contrary to some belief, is not whisky but is actually a liqueur. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-a-cocktail-bar-not-fucking-jamba-juice/406988/75 "2007-06-07T23:07:04Z")
[QUOTE=pkbites] The recipe allows for rum as a substitute. Around here (and my favorite) Southern Comfort is used alot. SC, contrary to some belief, is not whisky but is actually a liqueur. [/QUOTE] Yeah–if anyone tries SoCo straight, it should be pretty clear immediately that it’s not whisky. Vile stuff. Anyhow, rum in an Old Fashioned seems wrong on so many levels. I insist on rye, if it’s available. Bourbon I’ll take grudgingly. Rum? Nuh-uh. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-a-cocktail-bar-not-fucking-jamba-juice/406988/76 "2007-06-07T23:10:42Z")
[QUOTE=pulykamell] Vile stuff. [/QUOTE] To the unsophisticated palate of a philistine, perhaps. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-a-cocktail-bar-not-fucking-jamba-juice/406988/77 "2007-06-07T23:21:28Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] Yes, I know a couple bars like that. Five pages of strange-ass cocktails and then one little blurb about the ‘plain old boring’ things. What really gets my goat is how much more expensive the new fusion drinks are. They seriously think I’m going to pay 5$ more because they added some fruit juice and a splash of fuck-all. Ugh. Me personally, I drink blue lagoons and I drink dirty martinis. Depends on me mood it does. [/QUOTE] $5 more is a great price! Have you seen how much bottles of fuck-all go for these days? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-a-cocktail-bar-not-fucking-jamba-juice/406988/78 "2007-06-07T23:29:29Z")
[QUOTE=pkbites] The recipe allows for rum as a substitute. Around here (and my favorite) Southern Comfort is used alot. SC, contrary to some belief, is not whisky but is actually a liqueur. [/QUOTE] Actually, contrary to some belief, it is neither a whiskey nor a liqueur, but donkey ball sweat. With a trademark hint of lime. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2007, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-a-cocktail-bar-not-fucking-jamba-juice/406988/79 "2007-06-08T02:02:59Z")
[QUOTE=Harborwolf] Drinking “girlie drinks” happens to be a [very serious problem.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwSXMXFUqdk) [/QUOTE] Thanks for posting that. That’s my favorite KITH gag of all time and I haven’t seen it in years. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2007, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-a-cocktail-bar-not-fucking-jamba-juice/406988/80 "2007-06-12T02:24:18Z")
Hmmmph, whoda thunk. the farther you walk away suddenly you find you’re at home amongst friends. I’m going to throw this WHOLE THREAD over to the Real Happy Hour ([http://www.therealhappyhour.com](http://www.therealhappyhour.com)). I’ve found a couple of hard liquor forum type places and they all seem to agree with y’all. I’ll quote a post I made, it’s appropo: > [@](#): > > I went to a martini bar last night…first time in a decade I’ve been out on a school night. When did they start letting 7th graders drink? > > And when did everybody get so SHORT? I swear all the little girls there COMBINED didn’t weigh what I do. > > And what’s up with all these frou frou candydrinks? WTF is a Pink Panty? And dammit, martinis are NOT PURPLE! > > Gin. Vermouth. Olive if you’re low on veggies. > > That’s IT you godless heathans! I ordered a Dirty Martini. At home, that’s Gin (from the freezer), about 1.5 tsp of drunken olive juice, two or three olives, stir. At **The Martini Bar** (says so in it’s name, even) I get: 2 oz non-descript gin, a couple of olives, and another oz. of brine, making it taste like I’m drinking straight from the jar. I suffer through about four sips of it, walk over to the other bartender and say ‘this Martini needs some help’. He apologizes and asks what I’d like. I say: Bombay, on Ice, some olives. He pours the gin into a shaker and I quickly add: Don’t SHAKE it! He pours the shaker contents into a glass and throws a couple of olives in it. And if you’ve killed enough taste buds to drink gin (It’s not an aquired taste, it’s a compound that kills off the tastebuds that protest), make a drink with gin stirred, and another with it shaken. You WILL taste the difference. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-a-cocktail-bar-not-fucking-jamba-juice/406988.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-a-cocktail-bar-not-fucking-jamba-juice/406988.md?page=5)