I was in Vegas a while back and the guy at the bar (in a casino) couldn’t pour bourbon in a glass and toss in an ice cube because the computers were down. I was paying cash, and he could have kept the change too.
I pointed out that people were drinking whiskey for a long time before the computer came out, but I don’t think he understood.
I’m wondering if they were using those stupid computerized measuring devices that I’ve seen attatched to bottles in other places. Maybe he really couldn’t pour it.
Let me get this straight. You wanted a whiskey sour or an old fashioned and you’re making fun of Midori and and other “five kind of fruit drinks”? Pot, meet kettle.
Let me partially retract. Every old fashioned I’d ever seen was made with mashed fruit. After looking at those recipies, apparently there are other ways to make them. They still seem pretty sugar/fruit heavy though.
Mashed fruit is one proper way to make them. The other is by keeping the fruit on a spear or side of the glass. The mashed fruit method will taste different than the fruit on the glass method.
The fucked up, incompetent way to make them is with pre-mix syrup!
Hey, Midori is delicious! You should try a Tokyo Tea sometime, one of my favorite drinks. It’s a Long Island Iced Tea with Midori instead of Coke. Very strong, yet very palatable for such a high alcohol content.
At least he knew what wine was. A couple of years ago I was having lunch at the restaurant in the Manchester Grand Hyatt in downtown San Diego. I ordered pasta (mushroom ravioli IIRC), and then asked if they had a house red. The waiter replied, “Uh, you mean like wine?” Why, yes! Like wine! He had to go in the kitchen to find out. He came back and said “We have a chardonnay.” Okay, I’m not real fussy about wine, but the only thing I specified was that it should be a red. Never mind, I just took the chardonnay; I think if I’d attempted to explain the difference I would have broken the poor guy’s brain.
Huh. I’m surprised they didn’t at least have some “Ahrn”.
Right on. Nothing’s worse than ordering a Martini, when the person whose drink was in the shaker before yours had an “Appletini easy on the tini”. Normal barware rinsing doesn’t fully wash out that sugary stuff…
Huh, just try to get an Irish Coffee made without some horse’s ass reaching for a bottle of FUCKING BAILEY’S IRISH CREAM! Gag, I say, and likewise :shudder: I’ll forgive someone trying to make one with Jameson’s since that actually IS Irish whisky, but dammit, not that sticky gluey glop under any circumstances! :smack:
Sweet zombie Jesus. I think I got a hangover just reading that!
Threads like these remind me why I mostly drink at home over dinner, BBQ, friendly get-together or whatever. I don’t have to worry about some half-assed barkeep fucking up my martini. And then pay a premium for it.
Check out the link in the OP to the Six Basic Drinks. This type of Old Fashioned has about as much fruit in it as does a Whopper with Cheese. Actually, wait – Whoppers come with tomatoes, do they not?
If you really want your mind to be blown, look at the Daiquiri.
One last comment: a real Old Fashioned is a fantastic drink. But I have no clue who on this earth dreamed up the idea that club soda should be part of it. Old Fashioned + Club Soda = Crazy Disgusting.
Just this past weekend:
Me: “Can I get a Jack and Coke?”
Bartender: “Is Pepsi OK?”
In what UNIVERSE is Pepsi an acceptable substitute for Coke in a cocktail? Was everyone else drinking Rum and Pepsi? What is this, Taco Bell? At least she asked me. I settled for a shot of Jack with a Boont back.
Where do you go that you expect anyone to make an Irish Coffee correctly? This is definitely a specialty drink, and one that few places are really equipped (and few bartenders trained) to make properly.
On the rare occasion that I decide I need to combine my whiskey with anything, I’ll just ask for a shot of Jameson and a cup of coffee seperately, and then pour the former into the latter. I can do without the sugar and almost nobody keeps cream properly whipped for drinks. I refuse to eat that aerosoled stuff that comes out of a can and tastes like Elmer’s glue.
Stranger
And see, I’ll just ask for the Jameson. 
I think it’s unfortunate for me that I like the following drinks:
Port
Scotch
Whiskey
Benedictine (I just tried this stuff a few weekends ago. h’oh m’gawd)
I will accept vodka-citrus mixes (but no screwdrivers. I got sick on screwdrivers when I was sixteen). Shots are no sweat. I like strawberry daiquiris because I am a girl. I do like Kahlua and I like Irish cream, but when I actually feel like drinking and not having a sweet milky drink I want whiskey or maybe vodkasomething.
Last time we went for dinner, my friend got me a pomegranate martini. And while it was tasty, it was not a martini. It was in a martini glass. It was not a martini. I have never had a martini. I think I’m going to damn well have to.
I can just see me going to a club:
“I WANT A MARTINI.”
(cups hand to ear) “APPLETINI?”
(this is for real, I actually pull this juvenile crap sometimes) I’ll order a Molotov cocktail. It’s hillarious to watch the dopes look through their bar books trying to find the recipe. Eventually they’ll either tell me they can’t make it and (occassionally) offer me a different drink ON THE HOUSE (
:p:D:cool: ) or someone will tell them what it really is and they’ll come back to me with that stupified “deer in headlights” l:eek::eek:k
They have to have previously done stupid shit before I start pulling this bit of asshatery.
If they immediately know what it is, then I get cranky. “You know what the hell a molotov cocktail is, but you have no idea how to mix an old fashioned? Jeezus Fuck!
You’re in the wrong line of work!”:mad:
I’ve also been to the transdimensional bars in which a martini, just a regular ol’ martini is made with vodka instead of gin unless otherwise requested. A vodka martini? Why not just a glass of ice water and grain alcohol with some urine splashed in the glass first? Dry vermouth and vodka tastes like…dry vermouth. Shudder…
Of course to each their own tastes, but it does shiver me timbers to watch someone order a top shelf premium booze in their martini (vodka or otherwise) and then insist that the bartender pour olive juice in the damned thing. Way to ruin a wonderful distilate with .01 cent worth of fucking salt water.
Don’t even get me started on margaritas (lime juice, tequila, ice, salt. End of story.) or on how making a decent manhattan seems to be going the way of the buggy whip (Bitters? Who stocks bitters anymore?! ).
Hey you kids, get off my bar. 
About 17 years ago, my car broke down in Roswell, New Mexico of all places. While it was being repaired, I walked about a mile from the motel to the closest bar. I asked the bartender what beer they had, and the response was, in all seriousness and without a hint of irony …
“We’ve got both kinds, Coors and Coors Light.”
Wow, there’s some real snobbery showing in this thread. I’m ever so sorry that my preference for things that are very sweet offends your delicate senses. :rolleyes:
I can’t think of a single drink I can stomach–aside from plain water–that isn’t sweet. VERY sweet. Tea. Coffee. Juice. Alcohol. I don’t like unsweetened beverages in the same way that most people don’t like unsweetened ice cream.
And no, I don’t really care for the taste of most alcohol. I can do a shot of something like Maker’s Mark or Patrón, but it’s because I can ignore it well enough because it’s smooth. I don’t actually like the taste. And so yeah, I like drinks that mask the taste of the liquor. So sue me.
I think that any bartender worth his salt should know how to make basic drinks, sure, but to call the customers “ignorant” because they have different tastes than you? That’s the height of arrogance and shallowness, IMHO. You are not “better” because you like a dry martini, no matter how much you want to tell yourself that you are.
Of course, you must have guessed that someone has named an actual alcoholic drink a Molotov cocktail by now. (and here’s some entirely different drinks bearing the same name)
One of these days somebody is going to serve you one of these things.