This Is About Uncontrollable Laughter.....

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Why limit it to just church? Because we’ve been taught to observe a certain amount of “decorum” there?

Shit, let’s take it to the boardrooms! Let’s take it to The White House! Let’s take it to the Chiefs of Staffs (“Chieves of Staves?”)
Hell, who knows what tragedies might have been averted
had someone had the fortitude to be tickled?

Awww shit! I’m gettin’ all Zen and Karmic on y’all’s asses, ain’t I? Sorry! :smiley:

I just know how good it felt to release all that stuff, and how (while it was being released) wonderful I felt! It wasn’t akin to an orgasm, not even close, but it was a euphoric experience and I enjoyed it. Moreover, (I cannot believe I just used that word in a sentence!) the people I described my experience to in real life, laughed right along with me!

Bring on the laughs!:D:D:D:D

Q

22

Me and a buddy were helping his in-laws remodel their house, and had gone outside for a smoke. We had just finished up and were about to go back in to start work on the in-laws bedroom when his wife came out and said that we’d have to wait, because her mother was taking a shower. Now, my friend’s MIL isn’t a very attractive looking woman (wonderful personality, though), so naturally the thought of seeing her naked is rather repellant. I promptly looked over at my friend, and in my best Dirty-Old-Man voice said, “Ya wanna go look?” (Carefully lowering the volume of my voice so that his wife couldn’t hear what I was saying.) He stares at me, starts to snicker, I start snickering, and the next thing you know, the both of us are rolling on the ground, convulsing with laughter.

This causes his wife to ask what we’re laughing about. My buddy, instead of doing the smart thing, and bullshitting his wife about why were laughing so hard, proceeds to tell her.:eek: She listens to his story, says, “You guys are disgusting!” and stomps off, which promptly had the two of us in hysterics again.:smiley: We haven’t been asked back to help fix the house since.

23

A couple of friends and I were sitting around drunk one night, surfing TV. On one of the public access channels was this kid and his dad “jamming” on their guitars. They thought they played some good heavy metal music. It was some of the worst TV ever broadcast. I had seen it before, but one of my friends hadn’t. He started laughing hystericaly at this Rick Moranis look-a-like in a leather jacket and his kid trying to act so cool. So the other friend started cracking on them, causing us all to end up with wet faces and strained ab muscles.

Imagine my horror when, about a year later, these two guys came into my place of work to buy a part from me. I was literaly biting my tongue the whole time to stop from laughing. Not so much at them, but at the memory of laughing at them. :wink: Anyway, just as they were going out the door, the son turns around and says “Thanks, you guys ROCK!” It was so cliche. I barely waved bye. The door shut, and I lost it again!

I wonder if I could have caused uncontrollable laughter if there was anybody else there…

24

New line for a Doors song: “And he waddled on down the hall!”

:smiley:

Q

25

A friend and I both knew this rather hideous girl in High School who was, erm, extremely lazy when it came to personal hygene :eek: . Well apparently body odor and scaly reptillian skin did not keep the horny and desperate at bay, since probably a third of the male population of school had sex with her at one time or another. We had found out that one fellow, by the name of Amarinder, had messed around with her. We found this very funny- Amarinder was a very well-to-do fella who was always bragging about his good social image.

I had found out he had messed around with skanky girl much later. My friend and I used to joke about it, exclaiming, ‘AMARINDER!’, which became a generic exclamation (so like instead of saying ‘holy shit why did I have sex with that thing?’ one would bellow, “AMARINDER!”) I ran into a him and a friend of his (who happened to be a classmate of mine at the time) at college. The dialogue went like this:

Chris: Hey Incubus can you tell the instructor I’m going to be late today?

Me: sees Amarinder, instinctive reaction uncontrollably bursts out AMARINDER!

Chris: No, my name is Chris…

Me: realizing my accidental outburst OH SHIT!

I then ran off in an embarassed panic. Upon telling this story to my best friend, we both erupted in a good 10 minutes of laughter. Neither of us could retell the story very well to other people, because we’d just start laughing, even merely THINKING about the story. We started messing with each other afterwords, when one of us was trying to be serious/say something important the other would bellow, AMARINDER! which would cause both of us to start laughing hysterically.

26

Quasimodem and Wang-Ka, that was hillarious! I probably didn’t laugh as hard as you did, but reading your stories gave me a pretty good laugh nonetheless :slight_smile:

Oh and I think Wang-Ka is my favourite poster now as well (loved the Melon thread :stuck_out_tongue: ).

27

Is anybody else here old enough to remember the TV newsman – I think it was John Chancellor – who lost it for five minutes while live on the air over the phrase “multi-million-dollar maraschino cherry industry”? I still laugh remembering his struggles to contain his laughter and apologize and then lose it again. It was a classic TV moment…

28

Freshman year in college, my friend Chip and I were in a group of four people in physics lab. Somewhere along the line, the other two guys took to joking around, making some sort of strange (to me, anyway) hand motion. I asked them what it meant once, and got much hemming and hawing, but no answer. They continued doing it and giggling, and one day towards the end of the semestre, Chip took pity and explained to me that it was the international hand signal for masturbation. Being a 19-year-old girl, I found that ridiculously funny.

The next year, Chip and I are in Electricity and Magnetism. For the entire first week, our professor did demonstrations that involved rubbing a metal rod with a piece of ratty-looking furry stuff. He called it a “catskin.”

One day, before class, we’re all sitting and chatting while we wait for class to begin. Joe is talking about his cat: it’s evil, it hates him, something like that. “Well,” Chip explains, “maybe he knows what you’re doing in class.” He then made the motion of rubbing a metal rod with a “catskin.” I’m sure you know exactly what that looked like. I turned around just in time to see that. My eyes bugged out and my jaw dropped. For a brief moment, we just stared at each other. Then we totally lost it. Panting, shaking, eyes watering, I could barely get enough air to squeak out “Well, I don’t know what you do in class…”

29

In my junior year, I had piano class 3rd period with a few of my friends, a class that everyone, without exception, hated. Every friday we had a sort of recital. We went around the room, and everyone had to play a song on their keyboard. Your performance was rated by the teacher on a scale of 1-10.

Well, one friday we decided to have some fun with this. Myself and about 4 other students each paid a buddy of mine, Roland, a dollar to play his entire 3-minute song on the “bird” setting on the keyboard. With the “bird” setting on, each key played the same sound clip of a bird chirping. There was a very, very minute difference in tone between adjacent keys. I would say that the entire 4-octave keyboard only spanned about half an octave in tone with the “bird” setting.

Well, Roland then played “The Entertainer” in this setting. Try to imagine what it sounded like - all the notes of “The Entertainer” reduced a sequence of identical clips of a bird chirping. The song was completely unrecognizable, and ended up sounding like a flock of songbirds being sucked into a jet engine. The best part was that it lasted for more than 3 minutes. I tried to retrain myself from laughing by pinching myself, but by the end of the 2nd minute it was impossible. Me and all of my friends were laughing hysterically, and didnt stop laughing until long after the class was over. The best part was that, after making Roland replay the song in a more recognizable setting, the teacher gave him an 11 for creativity!

30

So does anyone actually scroll down this far and read? I guess we’ll see. Anyway, when I was in HS, we had a sub who was actually the school librarian. She was subbing for our Chemistry class. The set up for that class was like movie theater style. Ya know, the seats go up. Anyhoo, let me just say this lady is rotund. Beyond rotund. Floor shaking rotund, if you will. So we’re sitting in our desks, doing our assignment, when she sits down. Or so she tried. She went to sit down, but the chair was one of those that had wheels. So yes, you guessed it, the chair rolled out from under her. She plopped to the floor in one earth shaking movement.

Silence fell over the class as we couldn’t believe our eyes…

Of course she made it worse, because as kids will do we started laughing so hard we were screaming. As she is trying to get up, she looks like an octopus. All we saw were these huge arms griipping the desk as she pulled herself up saying,

“Dont you dare laugh! Not one of you laugh!”

Yeah that was happening. So we went on shrieking anyway. So fun. Those were the days.
Heh, what a nice representatives of Catholic Schools we made. Hmm…

31

I hear ya, WomanofScorn! I read all the way down here!

A lot of my stuff is “you hadda be there,” and there’s one “stupid moment” I won’t post without permission, but there was mindboggling laughter for a good few minutes.

32

I wouldn’t mind it if it came at times where it’s actually okay–i.e. not at church.

There’s this guy at my church named Elmo. He’s from the Philippines, and has kind of an accent. So one day he’s doing the children’s conversation (little kids go up and sit on the floor while someone tells them a story or something), and he starts out with “My name is Elmo. …Yeah, most kids look at me like that when I tell them.” My friend heard this as “…when I kill them.” So he drew a picture of the guy saying “Most kids look at me like that when I kill them” and looking evil, with frightened-looking kids around him. I didn’t see this until he passed it to me–during the prayer. You know, when you’re supposed to be all quiet and contemplative.

I at least managed to keep the hysterical laughter relatively quiet until we got to a hymn or something, but that was the longest prayer I’ve ever had to sit through, stifling a huge outburst every five seconds.

33

Congratulations, Quasi! Look at all the unsuspecting souls you’ve lured into this thread.

Welcome aboard(s), SpinnerGirl, Monza305, RNWebner, WomanofScorn and ErinPuff.

I suppose this means I’ve got to cough up some sort of rib tickler here too.

Cut back to 1982. My lover and I are attending a concert by the late master French flautist, Jean Pierre Rampal. John Steele Ritter is accompanying on grand piano and baroque double manual harpsichord. Unlike most of the pieces, where the flute accompanies the piano from the very beginning, this one song had a really long solo piano introduction. The pianist finally works his way up the keyboard en route to a stirring false crescendo as Rampal brings the flute to his lips.

The crashing piano breaks off into complete silence directly after hitting its high point and Rampal lets fly with a piercing 1/16[sup]th[/sup] note third register A immediately followed by nearly a full rest.

The ensuing silence gave me just enough time to lean over and whisper into my girlfriend’s ear;

“That’s it!” (as if the song had ended)

Her eyes sort of bulged out for a moment as she struggled to get a hand over her mouth. Her futile efforts only served to make me start guffawing too, until I had to clamp a hand over my own yap as well. Both her and I nearly lost our composure right then and there in the middle of San Francisco’s posh Davies Symphony Hall. We barely managed to control our sniggering until the song finally ended.

You can imagine the frosty looks shot our way by all the boiled shirts sitting around us.

34

My father died early in 2002. Just 5 months after my mom died. My sister had moved out of state barely a week before Dad died. So she hurriedly flew home to help me cope. Coping is just NOT one of the skills with which I have been blessed.

Anyway, my Mother’s sister Judy and her daughter dropped by to offer us some company. I don’t remember what started it but suddenly my cousin leans across the dining room table and tells my sis Nan “No soup for you!” in her best Mojo Jojo voice. Well that just broke all the tension and pretty soon we are laughing like a bunch of crazed PMS chicks on acid.

Okay, so that part “you had to be there” but to make it even better we decide to go to the local Chinese Buffet for some food. My son who was 5 at the time went along with us. He had just learned the "hey whats that on your shirt then flip people in the nose " trick. Except he actually stuck his finger up my cousin’s nose! She jumped and let out a squeal. My sister responded with “No soup for you!” This tiny little oriental woman appeared at our table “you want soup?” Well, of course, our overstressed nerves lost it. I was literally sick that night from laughing so much.

35

This is definitely the funniest thread I’ve seen on this board. Keep 'em coming.

“Most kids look at me like that when I kill them.” PRICELESS.

36

I went to this show put on for Orthodox Jewish women. The singer, a very nice and talented woman by the way, was evidently of the opinion that Orthodox Jewish women had not heard a new (secular) song in fifty years and anything would be a change. She sang some old show tune and my friend leans over to us and says "Next is either going to be “Feelings” or “Send in the Clowns.”

It was “Send in the Clowns” We started laughing hysterically. Because it was a very small event we were certain she could hear or see us, but we couldn’t control ourselves, and every time she got to the chorus we started up again.

Good, good times.

37

Oh, God, Zennie! You’d better be glad I wasn’t there, 'cause I definitely woulda lost it! :smiley:

WomanofScorn, forbidden laughter is the best kind!

I’m enjoying this thread immensely. Sorry that I haven’t checked in until today but I’ve been feeling poorly and haven’t been on the computer the last couple of days.

And no I didn’t catch anything from Labdad’s visit Saturday night! (Unless it’s being able to play my guitar a little bit better!)

38

Couple of occasions:

I was at a Victor Borge concert a few years back, and in the front row. (I booked early.) Laughter was kind of expected, of course; but in the case the after-effects were worse. I laughed so hard that I gave myself the hiccups – and Mr Borge chose that moment to switch to “serious” mode and play a long and rather lovely piece. With me audibly hiccuping every few seconds all the way through. I was doing my best to stifle it, but he could definitely hear me because he cracked a joke about it in his closing monologue …

I shoulda just left the theatre for a few minutes. Didn’t even occur to me, for some reason. (Besides, it was Victor Borge! Who wanted to miss even a minute?)

And another time:

At work, a few years back. I was in a meeting. One of those long, dreary meetings in a pooly-ventilated room, with far too many people present, all wearing ties (just to make them a little hotter). This was the kind of meeting where, after five minutes, it’s blindingly obvious what’s going to be decided; but everyone has to discuss the issue in great depth for 90+ minutes anyway.

After half an hour of this, my eyes were starting to close. I tried the old trick of touching my eyelids with a moistened finger, but it didn’t help much. I was desperate for anything to keep me awake.

That was when I made my mistake. I started trying to think of ways to make the meeting a little livelier. And I thought of one.

Do you know how hard it can be to spend the last hour of an earnest work meeting trying to stifle hysterical laughter? I didn’t even think of leaving that time, either. In a fit of meanness I wrote down my idea and showed it to my boss, hoping it would crack him up too:

    *Release live chickens into meeting room.*

He showed no reaction at all. I was very disappointed. But when, at last, the meeting blessedly ended, he shuffled me out quickly and told me that he had spent the last hour trying not to laugh out loud.

That was a sweet moment.

39

Okay, here’s a funeral story…my husband’s brother passed away last year. We went to Louisiana for the funeral. Naturally my hubby & I are sad. We sat in the family section to the right of the pulpit. His brother was a Mason & his fellow Masons have this ritual thing they do at funerals…and one of the “props” is a sheepskin. My husband is a Mason (inactive) & is also a bit older than I am. Anyway, he whispers to me that he has a sheepskin like the one they’re using. I whisper, “I didn’t know that.” Then he leers a t me, lifts his eyebrows & says,“Hey little girl, wanta see my sheepskin?” And for some reason, this struck me as mindbending funny. At a funeral. In the family section. With relatives who grieving. I buried my face in my hands, jumped up & hit the hallway. Most people there thought I was overcome with grief. Just the word “sheepskin” makes me smile now…

40

Didn’t people once use sheepskins as condoms? Maybe that’[s what tickled your funny-bone, dfqforever! Or it could have been an oblique reference to the word foreskin:wink: BTW, welcome to the boards! :smiley:

I once lost control while reading someone’s obituary on the air at my small hometown radio station. One of the other jocks pulled his zipper down and unbeknownst to me, poured coffee from one cup to another, sounding like he was taking a whizz, so I lost it.

Forbidden laughter. I love it!

Quasi