# This is better than sex! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 19, 2004, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-better-than-sex/230064 "2004-02-19T20:18:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-better-than-sex/230064/21 "2004-02-20T14:44:01Z")
Masturbation is better than sex – and its not even close. First of all, it’s the same end, so that’s a tie. But, consider the peripherals. . . It’s on your own schedule. You know exactly what you want, no “hoping” your partner knows. It’s not nearly as messy – you don’t need to have your partner’s goo drip out of you or wipe your partner’s goo off of you (depending on gender). It’s less physically strenuous. You can visualize whoever you want without feeling guilty. You can do it anywhere. There’s probably a million more reasons. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-better-than-sex/230064/22 "2004-02-20T14:58:52Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > Masturbation is better than sex – and its not even close. > You can do it anywhere. There was some guy in college who got expelled for repeatedly masturbating during lecture. He’d wait until the prof turned off the light for his PowerPoint presentation. Why a single offense wasn’t enough, I have no idea. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-better-than-sex/230064/23 "2004-02-20T15:04:41Z")
I knew a guy in college who would, at night, go to one of his classrooms he was in during the day. He’d sit in the seat of a certain hot girl in his class and masturbate. He was real proud of it. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-better-than-sex/230064/24 "2004-02-20T15:05:03Z")
> [@t-bonham@scc.net](#): > > Frankly, I’ve always thought that people who said this just weren’t much good at sex. And wondered why they would proclaim that publicly. Agreed. Sex is the ultimate physical experience. I guess for some people it’s just “icky.” 😃 But, someone said skydiving (free fall), and I’d rate it a close second to a good orgasm. ---
**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-better-than-sex/230064/25 "2004-02-20T19:35:34Z")
If you’re not having an orgasm while doing it, it ain’t better than sex. ---
**Author:** ![spingears](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@spingears](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spingears)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-better-than-sex/230064/26 "2004-02-20T22:18:38Z")
A current TV advertisement goes to some length to say: ``` "NOTHING is better than *Brand Name*" ``` Therefore, to answer the OP ``` "Nothing" ``` ---
**Author:** ![wireless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f14d63/32.png) [@wireless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wireless)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-better-than-sex/230064/27 "2004-02-20T22:26:54Z")
An ex-BF who was a fighter pilot told me one day - while we were dating! - that, for him, flying was better than sex. My outer voice said: Oh really! That’s interesting. My inner voice said: OK, well maybe if you weren’t Mr. 30 Second Man…Oh, and see if you’ll be getting even any of _that_ any time soon! Even if he felt it was true, it wasn’t particularly smart of him to say so. As for me, there are nights after a grueling day (or three) when falling into a bed with clean sheets and a big fluffy comforter does feel better than sex, at least for the 10 seconds until I fall asleep. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-better-than-sex/230064/28 "2004-02-21T01:36:56Z")
A dining companion once offered me a dessert, with the statement that said dessert was “better than sex”. After I had consumed said confection, she returned to me to ask what I thought of it. I couldnt resist replying with the old chestnut “Well, it was good. But either I don’t know how to eat or you don’t know how to screw”. Our relationship cooled quite a bit after that. But it was worth it to use that line! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![elfbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-better-than-sex/230064/29 "2004-02-21T01:47:06Z")
Last year, my roommate made “better than sex cake”. I had always thought her boyfriend was an inconsiderate jerk, but I hadn’t been sure up until that point… ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-better-than-sex/230064/30 "2004-02-21T01:50:15Z")
**Qadgop** makes me laugh! But, I have to agree, there are a lot of things in this world that are better than mediocre sex, but _nothing, nothing, nothing_ is better than earth-shattering hot monkey sex! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-better-than-sex/230064/31 "2004-02-21T02:00:38Z")
When I drove race cars, saying racing is better than sex was common. All your senses are operating at their maximum and depending on how well you did that particular night, the high would last well into the morning. When the pursuit of this high began affecting the other parts of my life I realized it was time to quit. Like a former drug user that remembers that perfect buzz, I still have vivid memories of some of the things that happened to me on the race track. I even have a tough time sitting in the stands at my local short track watching others race, the thought of others getting that racing buzz and I can’t tears at me. All I have to do is look at the pictures of some of my wrecked race cars to get my mind straight again. ---
**Author:** ![Omnipresent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8c91f0/32.png) [@Omnipresent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omnipresent)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-better-than-sex/230064/32 "2004-02-21T02:44:49Z")
A cold beer on a hot day!!! Almost! ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-better-than-sex/230064/33 "2004-02-21T03:13:08Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > There was some guy in college who got expelled for repeatedly masturbating during lecture. He’d wait until the prof turned off the light for his PowerPoint presentation. > > Why a single offense wasn’t enough, I have no idea. **friedo** , my only reason for posting in this thread is to tell you that you will forever have my admiration for phrasing this statement in such a way as to make me laugh uproariously for about a minute. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-better-than-sex/230064/34 "2004-02-21T13:20:23Z")
Things I have experienced that were better than bad sex: -Last summer I went on a 30 mile hike. In the mountains. In one day. When I finished I was exhausted, hallucinating and dehydrated. We got a shitty hotel room and got a 12 pack and ordered a pizza. O.M.G. -I’ve been in a couple of bands. There have been rare occasions where while we were playing out something would click and . . . I don’t know . . .it’s kind of like a Zen-like moment where everything meshes and you feel your ability transcends your normal range and the whole band is (bows) one. -Winning a fight. Note to self, never date **Trunk**. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-better-than-sex/230064.md?page=1)