# This is especially complicated. Does he like me? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 24, 2015, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-especially-complicated-does-he-like-me/741296 "2015-12-24T22:01:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Alittlesmitten](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@Alittlesmitten](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alittlesmitten)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2015, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-especially-complicated-does-he-like-me/741296/21 "2015-12-25T02:23:59Z")
> [@Cognoscant](#): > > I guess nobody has asked the obvious question, at least obvious to me: is he married or not? I keep forgetting to scope out his ring finger. But if he is married then I’ll know he isn’t flirting and it’s just my imagination. So nobody has to lose their chill about that. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2015, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-especially-complicated-does-he-like-me/741296/22 "2015-12-25T09:10:04Z")
> [@Alittlesmitten](#): > > But if he is married then I’ll know he isn’t flirting and it’s just my imagination. He could be married and flirt with you anyway. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2015, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-especially-complicated-does-he-like-me/741296/23 "2015-12-25T12:28:45Z")
> [@Jeff\_Lichtman](#): > > He could be married and flirt with you anyway. That was my very first thought reading the OP’s post, especially given the age difference. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2015, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-especially-complicated-does-he-like-me/741296/24 "2015-12-25T12:37:37Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > Yes. One often has less time, and/or less freedom of schedule. Oh, for Pete’s sake! Yes, the working class, after rising at four am and having a little gruel, heads off to the mill for sixteen hours, returning to their hovel only to have a little more gruel and sink onto a pallet of rags. For six and a half days each week. Talk about classism! Anyway, most people start dating in high school. The OP has described why she hasn’t dated and it appears that neither being only 19 nor being “working class” had anything to do with it. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2015, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-especially-complicated-does-he-like-me/741296/25 "2015-12-25T12:52:05Z")
Classism? May be, but I’m clearly not the one mocking from a distance. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2015, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-especially-complicated-does-he-like-me/741296/26 "2015-12-25T12:57:45Z")
No kidding. But since, AFAICT from **Frank** ’s post, the person being mocked is YOU, it would be kind of strange if you were… ---
**Author:** ![Alittlesmitten](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@Alittlesmitten](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alittlesmitten)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2015, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-especially-complicated-does-he-like-me/741296/27 "2015-12-25T13:02:40Z")
Why are y’all arguing. Chill, guys. It can be partly a class thing, too. Since I’m from what I called “the other side of the tracks” and I’m attracted to guys on the opposite side I haven’t dated. How about that? I don’t wanna be with the guys at my disposal. I don’t like them. That is another reason I have not dated. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2015, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-especially-complicated-does-he-like-me/741296/28 "2015-12-25T13:19:48Z")
Sorry, **Alittlesmitten** , it’s fairly common Doper behavior; didn’t mean to semi-hijack the discussion from your dilemma/conundrum. But we can multi-task. 🙂 Anyway, his absence is consistent with an inter-semester break, so you shouldn’t worry TOO much about it unless he doesn’t come back by some time in early February. When he does, I urge you to check for either a wedding ring, or an indentation where a ring would go. Welcome to the Dope, btw, and Merry Christmas! ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2015, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-especially-complicated-does-he-like-me/741296/29 "2015-12-25T13:35:58Z")
What kind of car does he drive? ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2015, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-especially-complicated-does-he-like-me/741296/30 "2015-12-25T13:37:55Z")
You mean, does it have kiddie seats ? ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2015, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-especially-complicated-does-he-like-me/741296/31 "2015-12-25T15:06:34Z")
> [@Alittlesmitten](#): > > I keep forgetting to scope out his ring finger. But if he is married then I’ll know he isn’t flirting and it’s just my imagination. So nobody has to lose their chill about that. Oh, sweetie, there is little correlation between whether a guy is in a serious relationship and if he’ll flirt with you. A lot of guys won’t to their credit, but nearly as many will. Why? It’s good for their ego, and with a big age difference they’re under the sometimes mistaken impression that neither of you could possibly take any of it seriously. Ask him if his wife went to the same college too - maybe he’ll say he’s not married, and if he is, at least you’ll know. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2015, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-especially-complicated-does-he-like-me/741296/32 "2015-12-25T15:27:25Z")
If time permits, you need to strike up a more in-depth conversation with him. I think it would be a mistake to ask him if he’s married, as that puts him on the defensive. Ask him how his Christmas (or Holidays if you want to be secular) was and what he did. If you don’t have time, slip him a little note with your phone number and say you’d love to chat with him after work sometime. But make sure your first meeting is in a safe, public space. Good luck crossing the tracks! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2015, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-especially-complicated-does-he-like-me/741296/33 "2015-12-25T15:33:29Z")
> [@Alittlesmitten](#): > > I keep forgetting to scope out his ring finger. But if he is married then I’ll know he isn’t flirting and it’s just my imagination. So nobody has to lose their chill about that. Not all married men wear rings. And plenty of married men flirt with girls, and not just in fun either. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2015, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-especially-complicated-does-he-like-me/741296/34 "2015-12-25T15:45:09Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Not all married men wear rings. And plenty of married men flirt with girls, and not just in fun either. Or so you hear, right? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![up\_the\_junction](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f1d935/32.png) [@up\_the\_junction](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/up_the_junction)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2015, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-especially-complicated-does-he-like-me/741296/35 "2015-12-25T20:39:32Z")
> [@CheshireKat](#): > > What kind of car does he drive? The jogging chick who got a number? That thought did cross my mind, also. ---
**Author:** ![Alittlesmitten](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@Alittlesmitten](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alittlesmitten)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2015, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-especially-complicated-does-he-like-me/741296/36 "2015-12-25T20:49:19Z")
Thanks and Merry Christmas to you as well. ---
**Author:** ![Alittlesmitten](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@Alittlesmitten](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alittlesmitten)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2015, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-especially-complicated-does-he-like-me/741296/37 "2015-12-25T20:51:57Z")
Thanks everyone for the replies and advice. Have a Merry Christmas or ya know Happy Holidays ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2015, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-especially-complicated-does-he-like-me/741296/38 "2015-12-25T21:42:56Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Or so you hear, right? 😃 Yeah, other married men told me that. I only flirt with married women, less complicated that way. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2015, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-especially-complicated-does-he-like-me/741296/39 "2015-12-25T21:57:19Z")
I might be in the minority, but I see nothing good coming from a 'relationship’with an age gap like this. It’s one thing if you are 40 and he’s 63. A 42\* year old flirting with a 19 year old is not a guy I’d think much of, to be frank. He might not know your age but it’s clear to us olds what young people look like. My initial impression is that he’s just in it for the fling. \*assuming he isn’t lying ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2015, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-especially-complicated-does-he-like-me/741296/40 "2015-12-25T22:17:47Z")
What’s wrong with a fling? Did you never have one? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-especially-complicated-does-he-like-me/741296.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-especially-complicated-does-he-like-me/741296.md?page=3)