# This is NOT a post-count party!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 1, 2000, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-not-a-post-count-party/39218 "2000-11-01T08:52:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-not-a-post-count-party/39218/1 "2000-11-01T08:52:37Z")
No partying!! No booze!! No sex!! Instead, all you miserable little vermin will genuflect before me, the Great and Malignant SPOOFE, as I declare my 2,000th post. You will shower me with your love and praise and naked bodies. You will take any position I want you to and you will scream and moan any way that I want you to. You will acknowledge that I am the greatest thing sinced sliced cheese. You will praise my amazing powers of wit and humor and intellect. You will sing your undying and absolute servitude to me from the rooftops. You will make me your king. You will make me your Emperor. You will make me your God. You will slaughter the Spice Girls and Backstreet Boys in my name. You will scour the globe for all I find annoying and purge it from the face of the Earth. You will dedicate your lives, your deaths, and your souls to me. You will tear down all your pitiful little monuments and pathetic shrines and replace them with holy sites oriented towards the continued and eternal worship of me. What you will not do, however, is party, drink, or have sex. At least, not in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-not-a-post-count-party/39218/2 "2000-11-01T08:57:40Z")
No booze?! ☹ You’re right, this _isn’t_ a party. Oh well. Happy 2000, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-not-a-post-count-party/39218/3 "2000-11-01T09:49:47Z")
Spoofe–I suppose now is as good a time as any to admit that I agree with you on a matter of great import: A Star Destroyer would WHOMP the Enterprise. Pure and simple. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-not-a-post-count-party/39218/4 "2000-11-01T10:00:42Z")
Congrats, oh Spoofer. Heck, I’m kinda getting close to another millenium myself! ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-not-a-post-count-party/39218/5 "2000-11-01T13:26:31Z")
Another vote for the star destroyer here (but you already knew my opinion mate didn’t you?). Um congratulations. Glad to see the P2K bug didn’t get you. Just reading the OP though and I think I’ll hang around for a bit to FLIRT with the girls who turn up. We could go drink and have sex elsewhere but you didn’t ban flirting… ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-not-a-post-count-party/39218/6 "2000-11-01T13:36:16Z")
Congrats **SPOOFE**. Now off to **Coldfire** ’s party for some honest booze… ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-not-a-post-count-party/39218/7 "2000-11-01T13:45:43Z")
What, is being Self-Proclaimed Overlord OF Earth not enough for you? Some people, they just want everything. Fine. Oh, great and powerful SPOOFE, I bow before your incredible wisdom and power. [sub]OK guys, I’ve got his attention, you can start the party[/sub] What can we, the mere mortals of this board do to make life easier for our sacred and holy ruler? How can we please you, oh shining example of perfection, so that you will not punish us overly harshly for our mere presence? We are miserable and pathetic beings, and it is only by your grace that we even allow ourselves to be seen by you. We hope that our presence in your vicinity is not taken as an insult. ---
**Author:** ![flikker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8baadc/32.png) [@flikker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flikker)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-not-a-post-count-party/39218/8 "2000-11-02T01:26:15Z")
congrats!! hey there dpr… how YOU doin??? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-not-a-post-count-party/39218/9 "2000-11-02T01:37:20Z")
Congrats, Spoofe. How do you manage carrying your head around on those shoulders of yours? Hey there, dpr. How’s it going? ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-not-a-post-count-party/39218/10 "2000-11-02T01:45:40Z")
I’m well flikker… how YOU doin’? And I’m well shadow… always better for seeing you. Would you ladies care to dance ---
**Author:** ![flikker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8baadc/32.png) [@flikker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flikker)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-not-a-post-count-party/39218/11 "2000-11-02T01:50:13Z")
i would love to dance! you’re all mine! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![absoul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@absoul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/absoul)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-not-a-post-count-party/39218/12 "2000-11-02T01:53:22Z")
Oh sorry, thought this was the tea party thread… ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-not-a-post-count-party/39218/13 "2000-11-02T01:55:53Z")
_takes flikker’s hand and leads her to the dance floor. Cues the band with complicate signals. The bassist trioes to steal second base. dpr rolls his eyes and says ‘Tango’._ \*looks into flikker’s eyes as they start to dance \* ---
**Author:** ![flikker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8baadc/32.png) [@flikker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flikker)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-not-a-post-count-party/39218/14 "2000-11-02T02:10:49Z")
_holds onto dpr tightly_ is this a dream ??? ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-not-a-post-count-party/39218/15 "2000-11-02T02:22:27Z")
It must be. How else do you explain me dancing with an angel? ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-not-a-post-count-party/39218/16 "2000-11-02T03:11:42Z")
Can I have the next dance with **dpr** , **flikker**? 🙂 **SPOOFE** , happy 2000! ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-not-a-post-count-party/39218/17 "2000-11-02T03:24:54Z")
I claim the dance after Audrey!!! Happy 2000th, SPOOFE! ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-not-a-post-count-party/39218/18 "2000-11-02T03:38:54Z")
Wow, this succeeded better than I thought. I picture people trying to drum up a lively, drunken orgy left and right. I guess I can tell my security squad to stand down now. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-not-a-post-count-party/39218/19 "2000-11-02T03:49:04Z")
_bows to flikker and escorts her from the floor, introduces her to spoofe and then sinks back and offers his arm to AudreyK_ Hmmm I wonder if the band knows any BNL… _whisks her away_ ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-not-a-post-count-party/39218/20 "2000-11-02T04:10:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE Bo Diddly \* > \*\*No partying!! No booze!! No sex!! > > Instead, all you miserable little vermin will genuflect before me, the Great and Malignant SPOOFE, as I declare my 2,000th post. You will shower me with your love and praise and naked bodies. You will take any position I want you to and you will scream and moan any way that I want you to. > \*\* If it’s all the same to you, Spoofe, I think I’ll just send a card. Congratulations! Scotti [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-not-a-post-count-party/39218.md?page=2)