# This is the last straw Bill Clinton! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 17, 2002, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-last-straw-bill-clinton/114554 "2002-06-17T17:19:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-last-straw-bill-clinton/114554/1 "2002-06-17T17:19:13Z")
I can forgive the “didn’t inhale,” the "what is “is,” the hummer from the intern, Whitewatergate, et al. I’ll even give credit where credit is do, and say the Brother-Billy was quite the statesman, and an effective President. Now that he’s hanging out in harlem, I kinda figured I was safe. Never really liked him, me being all Conservative Republican and whatnot. Until now. Now it’s personal. I saw on the news that Bill Clinton got a new dog, a nice Chocolate lab. He named it “Seamus,” pronounced “Shamus.” Excuse me Mr. ex-President, sir, but **my** dog, a border collie is named “Shamus!” The name is taken Sir. Thanks a whole lot. Now everybody’s gonna see my dog Shamus and say “Oh, you named him after Bill CLinton’s dog.” Then I’ll have to scream. What with all the publicity, the next time I go down to the spring pond with Shamus for a swim, all these spineless Democratic yuppies will have their dogs there, and they’ll all be named Shamus. Goddamit, it was an original name, and I was happy with it. Now I guess I’ll have to change his name to “Sarge.” Goddamn you Bill Clinton, and Democrats everywhere. **This** is what’s wrong with liberalism! ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-last-straw-bill-clinton/114554/2 "2002-06-17T17:25:21Z")
I understand Bill has this new magic trick where he puts a quarter up his nose … ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-last-straw-bill-clinton/114554/3 "2002-06-17T17:35:27Z")
This is almost as bas as when they stole my biosphere invention! ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-last-straw-bill-clinton/114554/4 "2002-06-17T17:37:12Z")
That and why the fuck do people care about his dumbass dog? Not you guys, just people in general and the whole celebrity thing. ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-last-straw-bill-clinton/114554/5 "2002-06-17T17:39:58Z")
How about if you change your dog’s name to Buddy? Problem Solved. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-last-straw-bill-clinton/114554/6 "2002-06-17T17:42:24Z")
Pronounced “shamus”? That’s positively dripping with irony. ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-last-straw-bill-clinton/114554/7 "2002-06-17T17:42:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by World Eater \* > \*\*That and why the fuck do people care about his dumbass dog? > > Not you guys, just people in general and the whole celebrity thing. \*\* I think most people admire **Scylla** for his writing talent and his impressive half-marathon skills, although I wouldn’t go so far as to call him a celebrity. What? Oh him. Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-last-straw-bill-clinton/114554/8 "2002-06-17T17:42:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jk1245 \* > \*\*How about if you change your dog’s name to Buddy? > > Problem Solved. \*\* Was it so long that you couldn’t read the whole thing, or was it simply a short-term memory failure? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-last-straw-bill-clinton/114554/9 "2002-06-17T17:49:08Z")
Now **Scylla** , don’t forget that Mr. Clinton let you lead the crusade against the Nazi groundhogs when he could easily have used a full-blown military engagement against the varmints to deflect attention away from his looming cloud of problems at the time. I think he’s entitled to a little dog-naming precedent after that… ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-last-straw-bill-clinton/114554/10 "2002-06-17T18:19:43Z")
It’s times like this that deconstructionist theory proves its usefulness, in digging out the hidden, unconcious meanings of symbolic gestures, i.e., naming the dog. “Shamus” can, of course, refer to private investigators (see Chandler, _et. al._) No doubt this relates to Bills deep-seated fear of investigations and investigators. On a deeper level “sham us” is an admission that he and Hillary are nothing other than a superficial and shallow fraud, a “sham”. Further, the pronunciation, “shame US” reveals the inherent unpatriotic bias common to liberals, and will permit Bill to cast aspersions on America every time he calls the dog. “Shah-moose” probably has something to do with the Pahlavi dynasty of Iran, but it is rather obscure. OK, very obscure. Of course, an Oxford educated scholar can be expected to be familiar with the works of the Gaelic poet Seamus O’Flehgelhorn, who is widely noted for his many odes regarding a dogs happy talent for lying by a fireplace and licking…himself. No doubt, Bill is ruefully regretting that he lacks the same ability, which might have saved him considerable stress. (O’Fleghelhorn, you will recall, wrote in a Gealic dialect that defies pronunciation. This lead many scholars to declare his verse “unpronounceable” and others, “unspeakable”. But I digress…) ---
**Author:** ![RTA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b4bc9f/32.png) [@RTA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTA)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-last-straw-bill-clinton/114554/11 "2002-06-17T18:40:30Z")
Maybe if you started _beating_ your dog, it would rid you of all this pent-up hostility you have against Clinton and liberals in general. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-last-straw-bill-clinton/114554/12 "2002-06-17T18:52:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RTA \* > \*\*Maybe if you started _beating_ your dog, it would rid you of all this pent-up hostility you have against Clinton and liberals in general. \*\* You have been weighed. You have been measured. And you have been whooshed. ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-last-straw-bill-clinton/114554/13 "2002-06-17T19:19:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\* > > Was it so long that you couldn’t read the whole thing, or was it simply a short-term memory failure? \*\* Speaking of whooshed… ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-last-straw-bill-clinton/114554/14 "2002-06-17T19:44:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jk1245 \* > \*\* > Speaking of whooshed… \*\* Aye, Whooshed I be. I hate when that happens. Still, I blame you. It would have been better if you’d suggested “Checkers.” ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-last-straw-bill-clinton/114554/15 "2002-06-17T20:19:10Z")
I wonder why he didn’t choose Little Beagle Johnson? Course, that would have made him look like an ear grabber. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-last-straw-bill-clinton/114554/16 "2002-06-17T20:42:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > \*\*I wonder why he didn’t choose Little Beagle Johnson? Course, that would have made him look like an ear grabber. \*\* Leave my ears alone, ya freak. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-last-straw-bill-clinton/114554/17 "2002-06-17T21:02:11Z")
Looking for a new name for your dog? Don’t go with Sarge. Try Sargeant Surprise. All the other dogs will be jealous. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![grendel72](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/91b2a8/32.png) [@grendel72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grendel72)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-last-straw-bill-clinton/114554/18 "2002-06-17T21:06:08Z")
I thought Monica said he _was_ an ear grabber… ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2002, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-last-straw-bill-clinton/114554/19 "2002-06-17T21:13:02Z")
Wait, is Clinton’s dog’s name pronounced “Sham Us” or “Shay-muss”? Because when I read “Seamus”, I pronounce it “Shay-muss”.