# This is the wurst I've ever felt
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-wurst-ive-ever-felt/72869
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [July 18, 2001, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-wurst-ive-ever-felt/72869 "2001-07-18T00:28:43Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2001, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-wurst-ive-ever-felt/72869/1 "2001-07-18T00:28:43Z")
Wife told me to fend for myself for dinner tonight. I went to a supermarket, but nothing looked good. I went to the deli, and realized what I was craving.
I bought a pound (only $2.47!) of Boars Head Liverwurst, a half pound of swiss cheese and a loaf of sliced Jewish rye (I have no idea why it’s called Jewish, that’s gotta be a General Question.)
I came home. I worked out. I ran.
I had the kind of hunger they talk about in Norse mythology.
I put two slices of rye in the toaster, sliced up half the Liverwurst, and a vidalia onion. You know this Liverwurst (always capitalized,) is the good stuff, because it’s grey. They didn’t color it to make it look nice. It stands on its own. The other speial thing that makes it great is that it doesn’t have one of those goddamn plastic wrappers. I have no idea what they stuff the Liverwurst into, maybe a giant intestine, or a pig bladder or some such, but it’s actually **sewn** closed.
It’s a great thing to see that somebody cares enough about Liverwurst to sew the casing closed.
The toast pops. On one slice I carefully and evenly lay that half pound of Liverwurst. On top of that I place a plethora of sliced onions. On top of that I lay 5 Snyder’s Jalapeno potato chips (don’t ask why, it just works, then swiss cheese (the kind with the tiny holes.) I slather Grey Poupon mustard on the remaining piece of bread, and cut it in half. **Then** I put it on top of the sandwich, and using the sliced half as a guide, cut through the remainder of the sandwich. A handful of chips, a pickle, and I’m ready to go.
I doubt it took me a minute to eat the whole thing.
It was perfect but it was over too soon.
So, I went back to the refrigerator and made another.
I ate that one too.
That was half an hour ago.
Unfortunately it seems that Liverwurst contains some kind of deadly gastrotoxin. By eating a whole pound I’ve achieved some kind of critical mass.
I feel really, really bad.
The wurst.
I think I’m going to die.
Good.
---
### Author:  [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2001, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-wurst-ive-ever-felt/72869/2 "2001-07-18T00:37:13Z")
Ha! I mean, sorry you’re not feeling well. but this reminds me of going to Old Country Buffet a few months ago, and pointing out to my husband precisely why most men need a woman in their lives.
You are, and we might as well all face it together…unable to fend for yourselves in the food department. I’m sorry. It’s true.
You either give in to hunger by eating the house right down to the foundation, and/or eating nothing but crap.
These three guys sitting next to us at OCB had this on their plates:
1. Mac n cheese, au gratin potatoes and A HANDFUL OF SHREDDED CHEESE FROM THE SALAD BAR
2. Mashed potatoes, potato salad, french fries
3. A big plate of jello and peas
fantastic.
:: pinching your cheek :: you boys are so cute.
jarbaby
1.
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### Author:  [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2001, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-wurst-ive-ever-felt/72869/3 "2001-07-18T00:49:46Z")
I’m gonna go eat some of those Sausolito cookies, and a Diet Coke. Maybe that’ll help.
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### Author:  [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2001, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-wurst-ive-ever-felt/72869/4 "2001-07-18T00:51:48Z")
Liverwurst
Onions
Jalapeno chips
and a carbonated beverage.
No offense scylla, I know you’re a mandingo warrior, but I’m sure glad I’m not sleeping next to you tonight 🙂
jarbaby
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### Author:  [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2001, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-wurst-ive-ever-felt/72869/5 "2001-07-18T01:50:40Z")
I just want you to know I hate you because I can’t get Boar’s Head around here and I’m wicked jealous.
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### Author:  [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2001, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-wurst-ive-ever-felt/72869/6 "2001-07-18T01:56:22Z")
Mangoes, man, mangoes.
At Fogo de Chao in Dallas - the stuff you until you ooze meat from your pores restaurant - they serve a desert course of mango ice cream. Mangoes contain an enzyme that helps your stomach digest meat. It helps avert many Mr. Ferguson type ruptures.
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### Author:  [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2001, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-wurst-ive-ever-felt/72869/7 "2001-07-18T02:44:11Z")
It was the toast.
Do NOT toast rye bread that you are going to spread with liverwurst.
The bread needs to be springy and resilient…your teeth neds to meet in a bathos of rye dough and livery pork for the full flavor experience. Butter helps this to happen.
The Vidalias, though, were a mark of genius.
(No comment on the addition of potato chips. You’re not French, are you?)
I concur with **jarbabyj** , though…open a window befoe you pass out. One liverwurst/onion/jalapeno fart, and Mrs. Scylla has full grounds for divorce in the commonwealth of Pennsylvania.
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### Author:  [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2001, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-wurst-ive-ever-felt/72869/8 "2001-07-18T02:51:02Z")
You’re gonna catch hell from the vegetarians on this, I bet.
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### Author:  [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2001, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-wurst-ive-ever-felt/72869/9 "2001-07-18T03:02:46Z")
mustard, onions, liverwurst, _and_ jalapenos?
for christ’s sake don’t breathe on anything living.
Unlike certain other, less genteel and refined posters, I won’t speculate on the olifactory qualities of your flattus in about six hours time.
How far do you live from me again? _tests wind with saliva-moistened finger_
[sub]please god let it be over 250 miles[/sub]
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### Author:  [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2001, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-wurst-ive-ever-felt/72869/10 "2001-07-18T03:45:04Z")
Bravo, man, Bravo.
Don’t worry, tho. By tomorrow the wurst should be over. 😃
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2001, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-wurst-ive-ever-felt/72869/11 "2001-07-18T03:49:20Z")
Is this your revenge (to be) on Mrs. Scylla for making you change the poopy diaper that she pretended to sleep through? I can just see you rubbing your hands together and chortling in an evil fashion as you were making the sandwich; “Sleep through **this** , Sleeping Beauty!”
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### Author:  [@celestina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/celestina)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2001, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-wurst-ive-ever-felt/72869/12 "2001-07-18T03:57:53Z")
[celestina picking herself up off the floor where she fell after reading this thread, reseats herself still laughing so hard she’s crying.]
Oh. My. God. Scylla! What were you thinking? I mean to each his/her own tastes and all, but I honestly thought I was going to puke when I read that combination you put together for dinner. How could you eat that mess?! Where were the fruits and vegetables that are essential to cut out all of that fat and cholesterol in that organ meat? Or were you just trying to drive home the poot that Mrs. Scylla can’t let you out of her sight when it comes to food? I have no idea what you can do for your breath, but hon, do your family a favor and take the maximum dosage of Gas-X or Phazyme or something, burn some incense, or just go outside for awhile it things BLOW over, [giggle] and promise that you will never, ever do this again. :0)
And thanks for making me laugh today. I really, really needed it.
---
### Author:  [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2001, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-wurst-ive-ever-felt/72869/13 "2001-07-18T04:10:52Z")
[QUOTE]
\*Originally posted by Scylla \*
**It’s a great thing to see that somebody cares enough about Liverwurst to sew the casing closed.**
[quote]
In more enlightened nations they sew the casing closed, then bury the stuff at least six feet deep.
Please stay away from open flames for at least the next 48 hours.
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### Author:  [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2001, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-wurst-ive-ever-felt/72869/14 "2001-07-18T06:06:42Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by phouka \*
> \*\*Mangoes, man, mangoes.
>
> At Fogo de Chao in Dallas - the stuff you until you ooze meat from your pores restaurant - they serve a desert course of mango ice cream. Mangoes contain an enzyme that helps your stomach digest meat. It helps avert many Mr. Ferguson type ruptures. \*\*
I love that place. I’m going back for the third time (or is it fourth?) Saturday. I have one gripe - why must you have such a kick-ass salad bar in a place that serves all-you-can-eat meat? I’d love to have a huge salad but I somehow feel like I am wasting stomach space.
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### Author:  [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2001, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-wurst-ive-ever-felt/72869/15 "2001-07-18T06:16:53Z")
God Bless You Scylla and your Thorlike sandwich. Let the others scoff and poke fun at your your boated and distended abdomen. It is a badge of pride and you are a credit to men everywhere for that magnificent meal.
I salute you (from a reasonable distance of course). Now give me one of those cookies.
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### Author:  [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2001, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-wurst-ive-ever-felt/72869/16 "2001-07-18T06:52:57Z")
Of all the sausages in da vurld I like da liver vurst …
[sub]Compliments of my long deceased great-uncle, and I’ve always wanted to use that line here. Sorry.[/sub]
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### Author:  [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2001, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-wurst-ive-ever-felt/72869/17 "2001-07-18T14:54:01Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by celestina \*
> Or were you just trying to drive home the **poot** that Mrs. Scylla can’t let you out of her sight when it comes to food?
Is this one funny-ass typo, or very clever word-play by **celestina**?
---
### Author:  [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2001, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-wurst-ive-ever-felt/72869/18 "2001-07-18T15:33:00Z")
Well, it’s the morning, so I’ve gotta ask…how was your night, **Scylla**? Did Mrs. Scylla kick you out? Were you run out of a town by an angry mob carrying pitchforks? (No torches, that would only result in disaster when running behind someone who’s just eaten a pound of liverwurst.)
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### Author:  [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2001, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-wurst-ive-ever-felt/72869/19 "2001-07-18T15:40:35Z")
I think…Scylla’s EXPLODED!! :eek:
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### Author:  [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2001, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-the-wurst-ive-ever-felt/72869/20 "2001-07-18T16:10:43Z")
I feel pretty good!
The Diet Coke helped me belch epically last night.
I sweated a lot, tossed and turned, but slept Ok.
Today I bought a corn muffin at Sheetz and that settled everything down.
Liverwurst contains lots of Potassium and Iron, so I guess I got my fix.
I think I’m gonna get myself some fruit for lunch.
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