# This is weird, right? (Personal food and restaurants) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 14, 2013, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-weird-right-personal-food-and-restaurants/673868 "2013-11-14T00:00:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-weird-right-personal-food-and-restaurants/673868/21 "2013-11-14T22:49:02Z")
> [@Grapefruit](#): > > There’s a work friend at another department that I haven’t seen in a while because of her maternity leave. She got back a few weeks ago, so I contacted her to meet up for lunch. I was the one who suggested the date and time, so I let her choose the food place. We ended up at a sit-down restaurant, and when it was time to order, she ordered just water. Thinking maybe she didn’t get enough time to choose, I told the waitress we needed some more time, but the friend insisted that I place my order. I did, and when the food came, she pulled out her container of food and started chowing down. > > It was a little surreal and I might have given her a strange look, but didn’t say anything. When the bill came, she put down a couple of dollars and we went on our way. We don’t work in a secluded area or anything. There are plenty of other choices like open area cafes without dedicated waitresses, or even fast-food type places where we order at the counter and take it to a cafeteria style seating. It kind of boggled my mind that she didn’t choose any of those when she wanted to bring her own food. > > I asked a few friends if it was weird, but they said it was “understandable” that she wanted to eat her own food for whatever dietary restrictions… and yes! I understand that! But why did she choose a restaurant?! That’s weird, right? It is odd that she would do that, but eh… people. Whatcha gonna do? Maybe she chose a restaurant that she thought you would like. ---
**Author:** ![Grapefruit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@Grapefruit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grapefruit)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-weird-right-personal-food-and-restaurants/673868/22 "2013-11-18T18:13:54Z")
If anyone cares for an update… I sent an email to the friend thanking her for her company at lunch and suggested that next time we get together we should gather a few friends and try to do a potluck. She teased me a little about the fact that I would probably just end up buying whatever I was slated to bring (totally true) and that she was up for it, but really enjoys the dining out experience because she doesn’t get to do it as often anymore. That doesn’t _really_ answer my question about why she brought her own food, but at least it gives me an inkling that it’s some combination of a diet restriction and that she likes sit-down restaurants. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-weird-right-personal-food-and-restaurants/673868/23 "2013-11-18T18:32:10Z")
Ask her! Directly! As in; “Before we make another lunch date can you share why you brought your own food into the restaurant?” It may turn out they’re all trying to accommodate you, who ALWAYS eat out! Only one way to find out. Ask her! ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-weird-right-personal-food-and-restaurants/673868/24 "2013-11-18T20:28:57Z")
It’s weird. ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-weird-right-personal-food-and-restaurants/673868/25 "2013-11-19T14:46:54Z")
It’s weird, especially if she didn’t know that it was weird and at least try to explain it to you. I work on a college campus, and there’s a museum cafe next to my building. Lots of people meet there to talk, etc., and once I absentmindedly started eating a sandwich I got from a food truck. Chef was over there in a second to ask me to leave (or stay and not eat). A place where you’re seated by a waitperson is absolutely a place you cannot bring your own food. It’s rude, it’s tacky, and frankly, exploiting the restaurant. You can eat in a park or cafeteria at work if you want to go this route. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2013, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-weird-right-personal-food-and-restaurants/673868/26 "2013-11-21T09:14:05Z")
By coincidence, something similar just happened to me. I met a friend from Kazakstan at a coffee shop here in Jakarta. She had taken part in a Kazakstan cultural exhibit earlier in the day. To my discomfort, after we had ordered beverages she pulled out a styrofoam container of food from the exhibit and wanted me to try it. Talk about a cultural mash-up…I really don’t know what the Indonesian take on this would be. I did not want to be rude to my friend, because I don’t know her very well, I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, and I have no idea how she’d take it through her own cultural lens. In the event, the nice servers brought us plates, napkins and cutlery (which we did not ask for, of course) even though we only ordered drinks, not food. I thanked them profusely. The whole thing was a bit embarrassing. I’m glad it’s over now. The halvah (who knew that was a Kazakstan food? I sure didn’t) was lovely, I will say that. ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2013, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-weird-right-personal-food-and-restaurants/673868/27 "2013-11-21T10:34:37Z")
It does seem a little weird, but as others have pointed out there are myriad plausible explanations for her behavior. The only way to know for sure is… Ask her. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2013, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-weird-right-personal-food-and-restaurants/673868/28 "2013-11-21T11:52:08Z")
Don’t jump to any conclusions. Wait until PSXer comes and shares his opinion. Should be a good one. ---
**Author:** ![Zago](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecccb3/32.png) [@Zago](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zago)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-weird-right-personal-food-and-restaurants/673868/29 "2013-11-23T03:56:16Z")
I think this is very weird but then here in Massachusetts it would be illegal to bring outside food into a restaurant (I think some allowances are made for babies). If this was a one time thing then let it go but if you’re going to get together for a meal again you should bring it up. People upthread have suggested how you might phrase it, but you have to be willing to do it. Ignoring it and letting this go on is unfair to you (because you’re obviously distressed) and to her (because you’re resenting her behavior). ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-weird-right-personal-food-and-restaurants/673868/30 "2013-11-23T04:39:00Z")
When I worked in restaurants, I saw people bring in things like apple slices and Cheerios for a toddler, or their own salad dressing. I’m OK with that. But bringing in food from another restaurant? C’mon, just stay at the first restaurant and eat it there. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-weird-right-personal-food-and-restaurants/673868.md?page=1)