# "This is your captain speaking: AAAARGH!" **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [October 17, 2013, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463 "2013-10-17T04:20:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/1 "2013-10-17T04:20:19Z")
Ok, here’s the scenario. There’s a commercial flight that experiences some sort of catastrophic failure. It’s going down, heading for the side of a cliff at OMG mph and the pilot knows everyone on board is going to become a past-tense person and professional daisy pusher-upper. Y’know, dead. What does he say to the passengers? Does he pretend everything is gonna be ok, tell people to shout their wills at the black box, bite down on the seat in front to preserve dental records? Do different airline companies have different guidelines? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/2 "2013-10-17T04:25:30Z")
Since this requires speculation, let’s move it to IMHO. Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/3 "2013-10-17T04:27:55Z")
Does it? I was hoping there was a factual answer in regards to announcements if a plane is about to experience a crash nobody on board would survive. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/4 "2013-10-17T04:55:43Z")
The flight crew is not going to give up. They’re going to do everything they can to solve the situation successfully. They are probably not going to be making announcements to passengers. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/5 "2013-10-17T05:09:57Z")
Here’s a real world example: > [@](#): > > 1614:12 PA-1 folks we have had a flight control problem up front here we’re workin it uh that’s Los Angeles off to the right there that’s where we’re intending to go. we’re pretty busy up here > workin this situation I don’t anticipate any big problems once we get a couple of sub systems on the line. but we will be going into L A X and I’d anticipate us parking there in about twenty to thirty minutes. Alaska Airlines flight 261. They had a problem with their horizontal stabilizer. Basically, the jackscrew that made the stabilizer move up and down broke due to poor maintenance and they lost vertical control of the airplane. The above announcement was made about 6 minutes before the plane’s fatal plunge into the ocean. Complete CVR transcript here: > **[Alaska Airlines 261 CVR Transcript](https://tailstrike.com/database/31-january-2000-alaska-airlines-261/)** > > Cockpit Voice Recorder Transcript of Alaska Airlines 261 MD-83 that crashed into the sea after developing stabilizer problems. If you look at the rest of the transcript you can see that they are busy fighting the problem all the way until they hit the water. They don’t make any sort of announcement at the end but then there isn’t much time at the very end either. > [@](#): > > 1620:54 CAM-1 speedbrakes. > 1620:55.1 CAM-2 got it. > 1620:56.2 CAM-1 ah here we go. > 1620:57.1 [end of recording] ---
**Author:** ![Desert\_Nomad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desert_nomad/32/177_2.png) [@Desert\_Nomad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desert_Nomad)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/6 "2013-10-17T05:27:15Z")
BA Flight 9 flew through a volcanic ash cloud at night and lost all 4 engines. The crew made the announcement: “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them going again. I trust you are not in too much distress.” They were able to restart the engines and land safely in Jakarta. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/7 "2013-10-17T06:30:33Z")
> [@Desert\_Nomad](#): > > BA Flight 9 flew through a volcanic ash cloud at night and lost all 4 engines. The crew made the announcement: > > “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them going again. I trust you are not in too much distress.” > > They were able to restart the engines and land safely in Jakarta. Yes but that plane was still under pilot control and had a glide ratio of something like 3 miles for every 1000 feet of altitude lost. Maybe it’s because I already knew the outcome but it seemed pretty obvious to me they ran into a lot of particulate matter. They were getting all kinds of St Elmo’s fire on the air frame. Still pretty amazing how calm the Captain was. ---
**Author:** ![saucywench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85e7bf/32.png) [@saucywench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saucywench)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/8 "2013-10-17T08:38:23Z")
It’s Arrrrr! Not Aaaargh! SW ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/9 "2013-10-17T09:17:44Z")
Hello fellow skydivers. We’ve got some beautiful weather this afternoon for a really fun activity I think you’re going to enjoy. As soon as we’re at a safe altitude your flight attendant will proceed to open the nearest emergency exit. Don’t be alarmed since we’ll be at a low enough altitude that you won’t need the oxygen masks. Now this activity is optional but I really would encourage you all to consider participating. You see . . . well, it’s a little hard to explain. The plane is going to stop working pretty soon and when that happens, it will probably be best if you’re enjoying a few minutes of blissful hang time in the glorious heavens rather than being sealed in this tin can like kippered herring. I know I would, but I don’t really have that choice. So take a moment to think it over and try to focus on what a beautiful experience it will be. See you when I see you. ---
**Author:** ![Lo-Slung\_Denim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f6c823/32.png) [@Lo-Slung\_Denim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lo-Slung_Denim)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/10 "2013-10-17T11:25:01Z")
I always assumed they say brace brace or something like that. “This is the captain speaking, brace for landing” - thought that is what they tell you in the safety talk. I’m going to stop reading this thread as I’m going on a plane soon. ---
**Author:** ![aNewLeaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@aNewLeaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aNewLeaf)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/11 "2013-10-17T11:38:07Z")
A pilot is going to fly the plane until it stops flying. An announcement to give up hope isn’t part of the emergency drill they practice. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/12 "2013-10-17T11:46:25Z")
The OP would probably reprogram the computer to give him some more options. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/13 "2013-10-17T12:17:50Z")
“Have you heard the good news about Jesus Christ?” ---
**Author:** ![Keeve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@Keeve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keeve)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/14 "2013-10-17T13:01:07Z")
Considering the factual responses in posts #5-7, I am going to suggest that the mods move this back to GQ. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/15 "2013-10-17T13:52:11Z")
> [@saucywench](#): > > It’s Arrrrr! Not Aaaargh! > > SW …Only if you have a certain coin of Aztec Gold… =d&r= ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/16 "2013-10-17T14:07:32Z")
> [@Desert\_Nomad](#): > > BA Flight 9 flew through a volcanic ash cloud at night and lost all 4 engines. The crew made the announcement: > > “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them going again. I trust you are not in too much distress.” > > They were able to restart the engines and land safely in Jakarta. Makes you proud to be British! > [@engineer\_comp\_geek](#): > > [Alaska Airlines 261 CVR Transcript](http://www.tailstrike.com/310100.htm) > . Been browsing the different cases on that site, fascinating stuff, thanks for the link **engineer\_comp\_geek**. Although I’d definitely avoid it if I were were wary of flying. > [@saucywench](#): > > It’s Arrrrr! Not Aaaargh! > > SW Ah, that’s only in nautical situations and to be followed by the phrase “ye scurvy dogs!” ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/17 "2013-10-17T14:10:04Z")
_“Ladies and gentlemen, we will be making an unscheduled stop. Please make sure all of your affairs are in order.”_ ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/18 "2013-10-17T14:38:48Z")
I can’t see the flight crew spending a lot of time on cabin announcements when they’re trying to work a problem. ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/19 "2013-10-17T15:21:24Z")
Many years ago I was talking with a pilot acquaintance and [Aloha 243](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aloha_Airlines_Flight_243) came up. While acknowledging the efforts of the flight crew, he noted that there was one cardinal rule among pilots: _Fly the fucking plane!_ (i.e., keep the damn thing in the air). According to him, the mindset is that there is always something that can be done, and a competent pilot will find it. [United 232](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Airlines_Flight_232) would seem to be the epitome of this attitude, with [USAir 1549](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/US_Airways_Flight_1549) right behind. I read once that most flight deck conversations just before a crash go something like “try the vertical stabilizer . . . nope . . . try the flaps . . . nope . . . try the . . . shit.” The last comment comes when the ground is about six inches from the nose, and is usually said in a disgusted tone because the pilot didn’t find the right solution in time. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/20 "2013-10-17T15:33:01Z")
> [@saucywench](#): > > It’s Arrrrr! Not Aaaargh! > > SW No no no, it’s “Aaaaauuuugggghhhh” from the back of the throat. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463.md?page=2)