# "This is your captain speaking: AAAARGH!" **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [October 17, 2013, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463 "2013-10-17T04:20:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/41 "2013-10-18T16:53:58Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > Yes, Absolutely. That’s how the 707 was sold to the military. They barrel rolled it in a demo. Is there video of this? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![PookahMacPhellimey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pookahmacphellimey/32/3175_2.png) [@PookahMacPhellimey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PookahMacPhellimey)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/42 "2013-10-18T17:17:41Z")
> [@Sparky812](#): > > I was on a flight to Mexico where the captain came on, gave us the usual speech about cruising altitude, etc., then broke off as someone was speaking to him in the cockpit. > Then proceeds to tell us that he has bad news and that it seems there is a serious problem with the airplane’s …errr… coffee machine! > > For a couple of seconds, you could have cut the air with a knife, then there was a unanimous sigh of relief as everyone finally exhaled! Bastards! Must have been watching [this Monty Phyton sketch](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hh_shsRfXqk). ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/43 "2013-10-18T18:36:45Z")
Tex xxSomething? ( was a Boeing test pilot ) Rolling the 707 is on film somewhere, I have seen it but I can’t remember where. My Google Fu is weak. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/44 "2013-10-18T19:04:24Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Is there video of this? :eek: [Yup](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AaA7kPfC5Hk)=) ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/45 "2013-10-18T19:25:37Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > I’ve never been a fan of containing public chaos. If I have proof of aliens, an impending meteor strike, or the Apocalypse, I’d release it to the world and just sit back and watch what people would do. If I were the captain, I’d tell everyone we’re all gonna die and you better do everything you’ve always wanted to do in the next few minutes. It would make an interesting puzzle for the cash investigation team. Maybe a quarter of the spouses dead before the crash, others with their hands around each others’ throats. It would be especially hard to distinguish between the rapes and the “one last fuck” crowd. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/46 "2013-10-18T19:27:33Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > I think the best course of action in the event of a crash is to drop trow, bend over facing the seat and position a rolled up magazine in front of your ass so the crash investigators have something interesting to figure out. I believe the current meme is “toilet paper roll.” ---
**Author:** ![Dervorin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Dervorin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dervorin)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/47 "2013-10-19T09:18:34Z")
> [@GusNSpot](#): > > Tex xxSomething? ( was a Boeing test pilot ) Rolling the 707 is on film somewhere, I have seen it but I can’t remember where. > > My Google Fu is weak. LMYTTFY: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AaA7kPfC5Hk](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AaA7kPfC5Hk) I just searched for “Boeing 707 barrel roll”. Tex Johnston was the pilot, I believe. Ack… I missed post #44. Ah well. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/48 "2013-10-19T09:58:12Z")
Yep, i agree this should be in GQ. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/49 "2013-10-19T10:16:29Z")
I know a guy who was a test pilot for the air force. They called him “Cats” because of the number of lives he had burned up. There had been a number of times that he should have died, but he’d find a solution. I couldn’t believe how calm he could be. I don’t think the pilot is going to give up until the sudden deceleration begins. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/50 "2013-10-19T13:18:11Z")
I’m going to zing this back over the GQ at the request of the OP. Because, like Tex Johnston barrel-rolling a 707, what the hell, right? ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/51 "2013-10-19T13:28:08Z")
I was on a flight from Ft Lauderdale to Chicago on Sept 11, 2001. I’m not sure of exactly what the time frame was, but at least one plane had crashed into one of the towers. All aircraft were being told to land immediately at the nearest airport. We were told nothing. We landed at Chicago 30 minutes early, and the announcement was simply the usual, “Thanks for flying United, we’ve arrived 30 minutes early, …” When I called my daughter who was picking me up to say I’d landed, she was hysterical and told me what was going on. That’s not a case of being on the doomed plane, but it’s a case of tragic news being withheld. ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/52 "2013-10-19T14:09:27Z")
> [@dogbutler](#): > > \ “This is your Captain speaking. If you look out the front of the plane, you’ll see a [mountain goat](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_32hrlI11ixI/TTUEYIMV0GI/AAAAAAAAAhs/Zlbyvf1l9DQ/s1600/far-side-3.jpg).” \ Or as the [mountain goat](http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=qC-2SzGEk9Y#t=180) said: > [@](#): > > And I am an airplane tumbling wing over wing > Trying to listen to my instruments > They don’t say anything > People screaming when the engines quit > I hope we’re all in crash position when we hit ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/53 "2013-10-19T21:22:37Z")
> [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](#): > > I was on a flight from Ft Lauderdale to Chicago on Sept 11, 2001. I’m not sure of exactly what the time frame was, but at least one plane had crashed into one of the towers. All aircraft were being told to land immediately at the nearest airport. We were told nothing. We landed at Chicago 30 minutes early, and the announcement was simply the usual, “Thanks for flying United, we’ve arrived 30 minutes early, …” When I called my daughter who was picking me up to say I’d landed, she was hysterical and told me what was going on. > > That’s not a case of being on the doomed plane, but it’s a case of tragic news being withheld. They might not have known. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/54 "2013-10-19T23:18:05Z")
> [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](#): > > I was on a flight from Ft Lauderdale to Chicago on Sept 11, 2001. I’m not sure of exactly what the time frame was, but at least one plane had crashed into one of the towers. All aircraft were being told to land immediately at the nearest airport. We were told nothing. We landed at Chicago 30 minutes early, and the announcement was simply the usual, “Thanks for flying United, we’ve arrived 30 minutes early, …” When I called my daughter who was picking me up to say I’d landed, she was hysterical and told me what was going on. > > That’s not a case of being on the doomed plane, but it’s a case of tragic news being withheld. On that day, our local news crew went to the airport, and they showed (I’ll never forget what he looked like) a young black man with a large backpack talking on a cell phone to his mother. His end of the conversation went something like this: “The pilot came on the intercom and said we had to make an emergency landing, but that nothing was wrong with the plane and they would tell us why when we got on the ground.” “All they would tell us is that there had been a breach of national security.” “We had no clue what was going on until we got into the terminal and saw it on TV. What kind of sickos would do something like that, anyway?” ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2013, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/55 "2013-10-20T04:18:34Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > Yes, Absolutely. That’s how the 707 was sold to the military. They barrel rolled it in a demo. IIRC it can loop the loop, too, though probably not with a full load. ---
**Author:** ![chacoguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@chacoguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chacoguy)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2013, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/56 "2013-10-20T04:43:26Z")
I read once, an account of the paratroops in Normandy. The last guy out the door was supposed to make one last visual sweep on the cabin to make sure nothing was left behind; when he did so, he was astonished to see two men standing there. The pilot exclaimed “\*For God’s Sake, we’ve been shot down!” \* Him, the copilot and the pilot went out the door as one. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2013, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/57 "2013-10-20T04:53:55Z")
> [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](#): > > IIRC it can loop the loop, too, though probably not with a full load. Unlikely. Looping involves a lot more stress than rolling. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2013, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/58 "2013-10-20T04:57:35Z")
> [@dogbutler](#): > > \ “This is your Captain speaking. If you look out the front of the plane, you’ll see a [mountain goat](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_32hrlI11ixI/TTUEYIMV0GI/AAAAAAAAAhs/Zlbyvf1l9DQ/s1600/far-side-3.jpg).” \ That is a cumulo-granite cloud. They tend to be hard. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2013, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/59 "2013-10-20T05:10:57Z")
A couple of thoughts… 1. The DC-3 (C-47, R4D) was flying in 1938. B. My friend’s dad flew B-47s. The “Lob Toss” method they drilled on involved doing an Cuban Eight to toss the weapon ahead of them and boogie on out of there in the opposite direction. A Cuban Eight is 5/8s of a loop and then a half roll. III. The first quarter of Tom Wolfe’s ‘The Right Stuff’ is about flight test in the 1950s. Generally when things went seriously South, pilots would be on the horn saying “I’ve tried A. I’ve tried B. I’ve tried C…” 4th. In flight test and Vietnam, if things went terribly South, the last word over the radio from the pilot usually was “Shit!” ---
**Author:** ![Ellis\_Aponte\_Jr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@Ellis\_Aponte\_Jr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellis_Aponte_Jr)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2013, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/60 "2013-10-20T05:27:00Z")
A tactful way to go would be something like, “On behalf of the flight crew I’d like to thank you for flying with us today. We should be on the ground in about five minutes.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463.md?page=4)