# "This is your captain speaking: AAAARGH!" **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [October 17, 2013, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463 "2013-10-17T04:20:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2013, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/61 "2013-10-20T06:11:51Z")
> [@saucywench](#): > > It’s Arrrrr! Not Aaaargh! > > SW “This be yer cap’n speakin’, ya poxy lubbers ! We’re headed for the briney deeps ! Make peace wit’ yer gods and see you in Hell ! Thanks for flying Deltaaaaar !” ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2013, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/62 "2013-10-20T17:03:24Z")
I’ve only been in one plane crash, but the pilot’s last words before the crash were “We’re kind of low and slow.” He was right. My last words were “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (thunk)”. [sub]“thunk” represents the noise made by my jaw clamping down hard on my tongue at the moment of impact[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2013, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/63 "2013-10-20T17:37:59Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > I’ve only been in one plane crash, but the pilot’s last words before the crash were “We’re kind of low and slow.” > > He was right. > > My last words were “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (thunk)”. > > [sub]“thunk” represents the noise made by my jaw clamping down hard on my tongue at the moment of impact[/sub] that would be the point where I take the plane away from the pilot. Which I’ve done before. ---
**Author:** ![jasg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jasg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasg)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2013, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/64 "2013-10-20T17:52:46Z")
> [@Dervorin](#): > > LMYTTFY: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AaA7kPfC5Hk](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AaA7kPfC5Hk) > > I just searched for “Boeing 707 barrel roll”. Tex Johnston was the pilot, I believe. > > Ack… I missed post #44. Ah well. He did this many times. While in the Air Force, an uncle rode with him as he did it in a KC-135 (tanker based on 707). ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2013, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/65 "2013-10-20T20:45:51Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > that would be the point where I take the plane away from the pilot. Which I’ve done before. That’s what the pilot should have done, since I was flying the plane at the time. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2013, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/66 "2013-10-20T20:55:21Z")
> [@OttoDaFe](#): > > Many years ago I was talking with a pilot acquaintance and [Aloha 243](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aloha_Airlines_Flight_243) came up. While acknowledging the efforts of the flight crew, he noted that there was one cardinal rule among pilots: _Fly the fucking plane!_ (i.e., keep the damn thing in the air). Here’s the proper order of business: [ol][_]Aviate[_]Navigate[\*]Communicate[/ol] ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2013, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/67 "2013-10-20T23:44:30Z")
> [@Mr.Kobayashi](#): > > Ok, here’s the scenario. There’s a commercial flight that experiences some sort of catastrophic failure. It’s going down, heading for the side of a cliff at OMG mph and the pilot knows everyone on board is going to become a past-tense person and professional daisy pusher-upper. Y’know, dead. > > What does he say to the passengers? Does he pretend everything is gonna be ok, tell people to shout their wills at the black box, bite down on the seat in front to preserve dental records? Do different airline companies have different guidelines? AAAARGH? Hey, I thought that meant Chewbacco was the pilot! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dervorin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Dervorin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dervorin)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2013, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/68 "2013-10-21T08:42:47Z")
> [@jasg](#): > > He did this many times. While in the Air Force, an uncle rode with him as he did it in a KC-135 (tanker based on 707). I wonder if somewhere, someone is compiling a list of planes that Tex Johnston has barrel-rolled. Must have been an awesome (if singularly butt-clenching) experience for your uncle. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/69 "2013-10-23T19:44:55Z")
> [@Mr.Kobayashi](#): > > Ok, here’s the scenario. There’s a commercial flight that experiences some sort of catastrophic failure. It’s going down, heading for the side of a cliff at OMG mph and the pilot knows everyone on board is going to become a past-tense person and professional daisy pusher-upper. Y’know, dead. > > What does he say to the passengers? Does he pretend everything is gonna be ok, tell people to shout their wills at the black box, bite down on the seat in front to preserve dental records? Do different airline companies have different guidelines? Freudian slip: “This is your captain sleeping!” ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/70 "2013-10-23T21:44:06Z")
> [@Richard\_Pearse](#): > > They might not have known. And if they did what would be the point of telling the passengers while they’re still in the air. ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/71 "2013-10-23T21:46:25Z")
I have been in two Commercial Aircraft incidents, neither serious. Judge for yourself the Captain’s reaction. Both happened on Southwest Airlines and while landing in Austin. In 84’ or 85’ I was on a flight from Midland/Odessa to Houston via Love in Dallas. We were diverted to Mueller in Austin because of severe thunderstorms. On approach(above storm was starting to hit in ATX), over downtown we just lost lift(I think it was wind shear). Pilots run the engines up to OG knows what rpm and we are just falling, seems like forever but really could have only been a few seconds. The whole plane lurches and grabs and we are over the runway and the pilots bobble it from wheel to wheel. I see the right wing almost grab a chunk of grass but we end up AOK and as we are taxiing the pilot comes on for the announcements. Instead of words all of us hear him taking a giant gasp of breath. When we exited the pilots were in their seats looking pale and probably needing new skivvies. A few years ago after a uneventful flight from Hou to ATX(Bergstrom), we are landing, rear wheel down, nose wheel down, engines spin back up, nose up and we are back in the air. Cool I just did a “touch and Go” in a 737. Pilot comes on cool as a cucumber and says “Will someone remind ATC to make sure the runway is clear when they clear us to land”. Saw him in the airport later, yep ex-fighter pilot. **Capt** Sorry if this was a hijack ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/72 "2013-10-23T21:54:17Z")
> [@Flywheel](#): > > “Wouldn’t this be a great time for a piece of rhubarb pie?” :golf clap: ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2013, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/73 "2013-10-24T02:47:45Z")
> [@Capt\_Kirk](#): > > A few years ago after a uneventful flight from Hou to ATX(Bergstrom), we are landing, rear wheel down, nose wheel down, engines spin back up, nose up and we are back in the air. Cool I just did a “touch and Go” in a 737. Pilot comes on cool as a cucumber and says “Will someone remind ATC to make sure the runway is clear when they clear us to land”. Saw him in the airport later, yep ex-fighter pilot. Oh, now you need the WHOLE runway? Amateur. I’ve been in a twin engine glider before while scud running at night. The PIC got one engine back but my wallet was already somewhere around the last turn of large colon. he did take my suggesting to climb higher after getting things under control. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2013, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/74 "2013-10-24T05:15:30Z")
What was the reason for scud running? ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2013, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/75 "2013-10-24T05:56:01Z")
> [@GusNSpot](#): > > What was the reason for scud running? unexpected weather enroute and he didn’t want to file as he was flying. Private flight, not commercial if that’s causing any confusion. Ironically we were returning from a maintenance flight. interesting phenomena. There is a bacteria that grows in jet fuel that produces a corrosive agent. It also grows in avgas. Well technically in water in the tank. It ate up the fuel select valves. The only way to purge water in this plane is from inside the plane. Learned the hard way that you have to dump quite a bit of fuel on the ramp to purge any water in it. The cost to fix everything was substantial. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2013, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463/76 "2013-10-24T07:43:54Z")
If you have an answering machine that can take a short outgoing message, try this: “Good evening, this is the captain of the \*S. S. Poseidon \*with your nightly surf report. Oh My God!!” (BEEP) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-is-your-captain-speaking-aaaargh/671463.md?page=3)