# This just in from the WTF-department **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 15, 2003, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-in-from-the-wtf-department/175412 "2003-05-15T11:53:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-in-from-the-wtf-department/175412/81 "2003-05-17T00:04:54Z")
No, no, no. If you’re doing it lefthanded, you’re doing it backwards. You lefties always look like you’re mining for gold in your pants when you’re standing in front of a urinal. You guys seem to use a “dig and grab” protocol which is much less elegant and graceful than the procedure I outlined earlier. Tighty-wighties were designed for right-handed operation. Of course, boxers are still far superior. \The so-called boxer briefs work the same way as tighty-whiteys, and thus are an abomination. \ I’m always happy to provide assistance, **Ellen** \*. Let me know when the kid starts driving. I’ve got a whole big bunch of advice for that situation too. - Note the lack of funky coding. I only do that in the **Rue** threads. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-in-from-the-wtf-department/175412/82 "2003-05-17T01:21:48Z")
I’m not left-handed, I’m right-handed. Which is why I’m shocked at your implication that you hold & aim with your left. It’s not at all ‘dig and grab’. It’s simple. Unzip. Insert left hand, in a right to left motion, with hand curved so that palm faces outward (outside of hand faces my body). Once hand is properly positioned, just pivot it (with my fingers against my left inner thigh) so that the palm is now against my abdomen. With left hand in that position holding open the hatch, right hand is free to grab & aim. Simple as can be. Like I said – I really can’t picture doing it any other way. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-in-from-the-wtf-department/175412/83 "2003-05-17T01:45:41Z")
Whoa. That could be called abuse. I’ve actually witnessed the “left-handed swoop” where the dude just burrowed in there and excavated his best friend. That’s just not acceptable behavior. Your method, while acceptable, requires two hands. Unless your zipper is installed in reverse, as if you were in Europe or some other stupid, irrelevant place. Like the OP, for instance. My method, on the other hand (_snicker_), only requires one hand, and is far more efficient and less time consuming. This allows you to complete your business in a more timely manner, and leaves a free hand for punching out random drunks who decide to nag you for a cigarette at the urinal when you are obviously busy and have no interest in being bothered like what happened to me yesterday. I’m right, you’re wrong, shut up about it. You big baby. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-in-from-the-wtf-department/175412/84 "2003-05-17T03:53:28Z")
I’m lefthanded, but I use my right hand. I think. Now I’m gonna have to pay **extraspecial** attention next time… ---
**Author:** ![Sapphire\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Sapphire\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapphire_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-in-from-the-wtf-department/175412/85 "2003-05-17T16:03:02Z")
I can just envision the next DopeFest. At the appointed hour, all of the men troop off to the bathroom in a huge crowd, leaving dozens upon dozens of women confused. That’s just not male behaviour. Once in the men’s room, there will be demonstrations of the proper way to use a urinal whilst not going commando. I’m sure there will be a couple of demonstrations on how not to get caught in the zipper of jeans, too. Me, I’m glad I’m a female. ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-in-from-the-wtf-department/175412/86 "2003-05-17T16:14:19Z")
You know, the “pants all the way down” thing is very commonly used by gay men who are cruising for sex. Might add a twist to office culture, eh? ---
**Author:** ![FairyDust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ccd318/32.png) [@FairyDust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyDust)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-in-from-the-wtf-department/175412/87 "2003-05-17T16:21:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GKW \* > \*\* > One bathroom WTF I recall was at a party. A bunch of us girls went into the bathroom (how come men don’t pee together?) to use the toilet, primp, chit chat, etc. which I find all normal. But as we getting ready to leave, one girl takes the hostess’ hairbrush, lifts up her skirt, whips down her undies, and gives her puss a few quick swipes with the hairbrush! I look at her like, WTF are you doing? “Don’t worry”, she says, “we’re friends.” \*\* :eek: I’d be very surprised if the hostess had no problem with that. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-in-from-the-wtf-department/175412/88 "2003-05-17T16:58:58Z")
**andygirl** , do you know of any specific gay code attached to “walking around the men’s room with your dick hanging out of your pants”? Maybe this dude was cruising for sex too, in his own, unique way. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Anal\_Scurvy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c57346/32.png) [@Anal\_Scurvy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anal_Scurvy)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-in-from-the-wtf-department/175412/89 "2003-05-17T17:04:20Z")
I used to be able to piss a distance of ten to twelve feet (I measured once). I can’t do it any more, I think it had something to do with the fact that I was going through puberty and always erect. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-in-from-the-wtf-department/175412/90 "2003-05-17T19:28:12Z")
Okay, I checked. It’s the left hand. Further bulletins as events warrant! ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-in-from-the-wtf-department/175412/91 "2003-05-17T22:22:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Balle\_M \* > \*\*Then what the hell did I buy all these big-assed guns for??? \*\* I dunno…but what does a gun with a big ass look like??? ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-in-from-the-wtf-department/175412/92 "2003-05-17T22:24:36Z")
In case anybody is wondering Coldies nickname came about because it is rumoured that his penis is so big that he could put a sock and a wooden clog on it…and that’s the rest of the story about our beloved Clogboy… ---
**Author:** ![legion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/838e76/32.png) [@legion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legion)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-in-from-the-wtf-department/175412/93 "2003-05-18T01:02:17Z")
Years ago I worked as a tech in a laboratory owned and operated by the Malaysian government. Needless to say, there were a lot of Malaysian dudes at this place. We had this little shower room with toilet and sink. We needed it because a few of the processes involved mixing carbon back and you needed a shower after messing with that shite. Anyway, the first time I had to use the shower, guess what I’m faced with when I get out, all dripping and naked and vulnerable? A fully clothed, unzipped Malaysian dude, _washing his dick_ in the sink! OH…MY…GOD. I was fully dressed and back in my lab in 10 seconds. Didn’t trouble the towel \* at all\* that day! When I told the other Brit guys, they just laughed and said I would get used to it! It was a religious thing, apparently. Once they had had stopped laughing and I had calmed down a bit, I realised there was another weird aspect to the situation. The schlong washing guy _didn’t have a towel!_ My towel was the only one hanging up in the room! If I had of been a few minutes longer in the shower, the dirty bastard would have dried his - albeit clean and shiny - trouser snake _on my towel_! ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-in-from-the-wtf-department/175412/94 "2003-05-18T01:58:44Z")
Not being properly equipped to have urinal stories, I will share a story about piss. When I close at the store where I work, I always end up being the one to clean the bathrooms. Nobody else will do it. Usually it’s not a big deal, but then a week or two ago I was emptying the garbage can in the girl’s room, and discovered that the bottom of the bag was full of urine. Somebody pissed. In the garbage can. Which has an opening well above waist height. In the ladies’ room. The mind boggles. ---
**Author:** ![legion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/838e76/32.png) [@legion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legion)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-in-from-the-wtf-department/175412/95 "2003-05-18T03:05:00Z")
That doesn’t suprise me, Racinchikki. Whenever we are out in some bar or restaurant or someplace, if Mrs legion and I have to take a whiz, she often regales me with horror stories about how disgusting the ladies loo was. Yet I usually find the gents pretty clean and tidy! Go figger! ---
**Author:** ![susan\_foster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@susan\_foster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan_foster)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-in-from-the-wtf-department/175412/96 "2003-05-18T03:12:12Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Kn_ckers \* > \*\*But, as regards the WTF department and restrooms in general, I did recently find that someone had peed EVERYWHERE in a unisex bathroom at my office. On the seat, under the seat, under the toilet, the middle of the floor, over by the trash can… Jesus Christ, what where they DOING in there? I mean, when I go to the bathroom, I don’t endeavor to see how many different places I can pee. But this person just went hog-wild! Icky. \*\* C’mon, it’s obvious - they were marking their territory! Susan ---
**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-in-from-the-wtf-department/175412/97 "2003-05-18T14:25:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by legion \* > \*\*That doesn’t suprise me, Racinchikki. > > Whenever we are out in some bar or restaurant or someplace, if Mrs legion and I have to take a whiz, she often regales me with horror stories about how disgusting the ladies loo was. Yet I usually find the gents pretty clean and tidy! > > Go figger! \*\* I worked in a resturant and I would alwasy show up before the staff and clean the floors and bathrooms. I can say in the 3 years of cleaning the womans bathroom was a bigger mess than the mens 90% of the time. The worse being when some drunk took her tampon out and slung blood all over the fricking walls in the stall leaving the bloody rag resting on the flush handle. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-in-from-the-wtf-department/175412/98 "2003-05-18T15:52:47Z")
In the days before fast food restrooms and clean service station restrooms were abundant, one of my mother’s friends had to make a pit stop on a road out in the country. Her husband pulled the car over and she stepped just out of sight to squat. After she finished she was trying to stand up and pull her panties back up. But she was on a slight incline and toppled forward making what I will call a “splashdown” landing. I don’t know which was funnier – the picture that painted in my mind or hearing my 90 year old mother gasping for breath from laughing as she retold the story fifty years later. You all have made my day with this thread and I have jerked a knot in my back from laughing so hard! ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-in-from-the-wtf-department/175412/99 "2003-05-18T17:24:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\ ***andygirl** , do you know of any specific gay code attached to “walking around the men’s room with your dick hanging out of your pants”? Maybe this dude was cruising for sex too, in his own, unique way. 🙂 \*\* I can’t say that I do, but this is not a subject I study intensively. I’ll make inquiries and let you know. This is gonna be entertaining… ---
**Author:** ![Margo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Margo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Margo)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-in-from-the-wtf-department/175412/100 "2003-05-18T20:32:46Z")
I live for moments like this (well, not _live_ exactly) so I can use the line: I used to think you were crazy, but now I can see your nuts… Or am I the only one that thinks that is funny? When my parents took us out to eat once we were all sitting in the car (3 girls, all very naive and sheltered) and we look over to see an intoxicated man exit a bar, unzip his pants and proceed to pee on a truck’s tire, then he shuffled off, his limp penis flapping in the lazy breeze…total silence in our car, my mother’s ears were a peculiar shade of tomato red, my father clearing his throat muttering “um…so…um…gee…” the 3 very naive and sheltered girls still fogging up the back window trying to get a peek at the drunken man’s urinator…not one word was spoken…could have been an opening for a sex talk, but not with my parents… Also can I be the first to say “Prehensile Penis” could be a band name? Margo Margo [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-in-from-the-wtf-department/175412.md?page=4)