# This just makes me want to grab my rifle and climb a tower **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 3, 2004, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-makes-me-want-to-grab-my-rifle-and-climb-a-tower/277811 "2004-12-03T00:31:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-makes-me-want-to-grab-my-rifle-and-climb-a-tower/277811/21 "2004-12-03T03:39:19Z")
**Scylla** , you carry the duffel with the rifles, I’ll get the ammo cans. Bees. Cool. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-makes-me-want-to-grab-my-rifle-and-climb-a-tower/277811/22 "2004-12-03T03:45:42Z")
My firewall won’t let me look at the Doritos. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-makes-me-want-to-grab-my-rifle-and-climb-a-tower/277811/23 "2004-12-03T04:02:06Z")
I take instruction well, and I initially thought there was something else to the site. To the right is a picture of an attractive young lass, and when you press the button on the left, for a moment in the Flash animation it says “ENTER HER”. I didn’t want to take my gun to the tower frankly. I wanter to follow instruction further. But maybe that’s just because I’m a big ol’ pervert. ---
**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-makes-me-want-to-grab-my-rifle-and-climb-a-tower/277811/24 "2004-12-03T04:06:35Z")
“Grab a rifle and climb a tower.” really shows our age. Sometimes when I want to act younger I use the old tried and true… “I am going to go postal” I think kids these days are using… well I do not know what they are using… but I suspect it will have something to do with Columbine. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-makes-me-want-to-grab-my-rifle-and-climb-a-tower/277811/25 "2004-12-03T04:11:23Z")
> [@Osip](#): > > “Grab a rifle and climb a tower.” really shows our age. > > Sometimes when I want to act younger I use the old tried and true… > > “I am going to go postal” > > I think kids these days are using… well I do not know what they are using… but I suspect it will have something to do with Columbine. You get a much better angle from a tower. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-makes-me-want-to-grab-my-rifle-and-climb-a-tower/277811/26 "2004-12-03T04:16:40Z")
> [@cazzle](#): > > I watched the link before reading the rest of the post, and I was tossing up Shouldn’t eat so many Doritos. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-makes-me-want-to-grab-my-rifle-and-climb-a-tower/277811/27 "2004-12-03T04:18:54Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > You get a much better angle from a tower. Yeah. And it’s harder for the SWAT teams to draw a bead on ya. ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-makes-me-want-to-grab-my-rifle-and-climb-a-tower/277811/28 "2004-12-03T04:33:53Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > You get a much better angle from a tower. You don’t happen so see a flaming car with a child in it from up there, do you? ---
**Author:** ![Brutus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Brutus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brutus)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-makes-me-want-to-grab-my-rifle-and-climb-a-tower/277811/29 "2004-12-03T04:47:24Z")
While I am always up for giving the M1A a workout, you do realize that when the toes are tagged and the dust has settled, people are going to laugh, right? ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-makes-me-want-to-grab-my-rifle-and-climb-a-tower/277811/30 "2004-12-03T05:23:20Z")
No… you’re not nuts, You’re just too sensitive. I’ve seen you curse yourself and fume in past threads when you destroyed the delicate balance of a pithy little joke you launched on a graceful arc into an exchange, only to have it belly flop because of misspelled word. But those were simply accidents. _This_ is a deliberate crippling of light humor because of fear. This fear is petty and contemptible, but these are people that make corn snacks. The corporate task is so mundane it gives small minds and gnawing fears an open field in which to play, and issue idiotic, jarring disclaimers that crap the trousers of this poor little joke. You are entitled to rage. It’s a squalid thing for the Dorito’s people to do, but in the end you’ve got to move on. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-makes-me-want-to-grab-my-rifle-and-climb-a-tower/277811/31 "2004-12-03T05:37:17Z")
1. What kind of rifle are you going to use? - I have gathered from previous threads that you think you are a pretty good shot. Hunters that want to up the difficulty for a bigger challenge often switch over to a black powder rifle. I think you should use a flintlock (vintage) for sport value. 2. You need something to wear. Camoflauge is SO cliche - [These people have the perfect thing.](http://www.costumes.org/SHOWS/100pages/EAGLE2.HTM) Scroll down to the third picture. 3. You need to pick a tower to shoot from - [I think this one will be perfect.](http://www.cntower.ca/) ---
**Author:** ![Kkrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Kkrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kkrose)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-makes-me-want-to-grab-my-rifle-and-climb-a-tower/277811/32 "2004-12-03T05:45:24Z")
> [@Q.E.D.](#): > > We’ve secretly replaced **Scylla** ’s regular coffee with pure crack. Let’s see what happens. I think this is just about the funniest thing I have ever read. Ever. That is all. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Svinlesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/22d042/32.png) [@Mr.Svinlesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Svinlesha)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-makes-me-want-to-grab-my-rifle-and-climb-a-tower/277811/33 "2004-12-03T06:34:01Z")
**Scylla** : Perhaps you should consider a hobby. Have you ever tried macramé? ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-makes-me-want-to-grab-my-rifle-and-climb-a-tower/277811/34 "2004-12-03T07:03:21Z")
> [@Mr. Svinlesha](#): > > **Scylla** : > > Perhaps you should consider a hobby. > > Have you ever tried macramé? I wonder if there’ll be the day you need a permit to buy rope because of accidental hangings? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-makes-me-want-to-grab-my-rifle-and-climb-a-tower/277811/35 "2004-12-03T07:51:05Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > the motto for Doritos brand tortilla chips is **"Byte Sized Fun."** Too bad the Vice President for IT didn’t chime in with the need for future expandability of the 8-bit chip… 😃 > [@](#): > > except a lawyer said “well we better just make sure we put in a disclaimer that lets everybody know that doritos are not “bite sized.” That way we disclaim the suggest irony of the homonym and its implicit suggestion that you stick whole Doritos bramd torilla chips in your mouth.” Which says relatively little about how stupid consumers are, and a whole lot about how stupid lawyers are. One is reminded of the short lived cartoon duo [Shnookums & Meat](http://http://ccwf.cc.utexas.edu/~jfl/Shnookums.html), whose wide-awake marketing team decided to tie them in with a spaghetti-in-a-can product that _contained no actual meat_. The resulting small-print disclaimer ran to nearly a paragraph. They’d have been better off naming it “Shnookums, Meat, & Counsel.” ---
**Author:** ![Achren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/898d66/32.png) [@Achren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achren)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-makes-me-want-to-grab-my-rifle-and-climb-a-tower/277811/36 "2004-12-03T07:56:12Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > They don’t do that in my world. In my world you don’t need warnings and disclaimers with your snacks. \*\*We know how to masticate our chips, dammit. > > As far as I’m concerned an incompetant masticator is worthless!\*\* Beautiful, wonder and wacky. I love finding a fun thread right before bed. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-makes-me-want-to-grab-my-rifle-and-climb-a-tower/277811/37 "2004-12-03T10:17:19Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > **Scylla** is a dude with access to a chainsaw, bees, a rifle, and **a remote controlled blimp for reconnisance**. I wouldn’t poke too much fun. He has used groundhogs for what he plans to do to people one day. No, no, no. You see, **they** have already gotten to his recon apparatus as his OP proved a while back. The blimp has already proven disloyal and is NOT to be trusted. **Scylla** , I’ll head down with my M1 and hollow points to help out if needed. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-makes-me-want-to-grab-my-rifle-and-climb-a-tower/277811/38 "2004-12-03T13:14:53Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > Sure. Go ahead and laugh at me. > This is your world. Your Doritos come with warnings, disclaimers, and instructions. **Dear Miss Manners:** What is the proper way to eat potato chips? **Gentle Reader:** With a knife and fork. A fruit knife and an oyster fork, in fact. Good heavens, what is this world coming to? Miss Manners does not mind giving advice on the finer points of gracious living, but she feels that anyone without the sense to pick up a potato chip and stuff it in their mouth should probably not be running around loose on the streets. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-makes-me-want-to-grab-my-rifle-and-climb-a-tower/277811/39 "2004-12-03T13:56:24Z")
I cannot believe no one else has posted this. You are all getting slack! > [@](#): > > You think your Commodore 64 is really neato > What kinda chip you got in there, a Dorito? It really is [all about the Pentiums!](http://www.com-www.com/weirdal/itsallaboutthepentiums.html) ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-makes-me-want-to-grab-my-rifle-and-climb-a-tower/277811/40 "2004-12-03T14:15:22Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > In my world you don’t need warnings and disclaimers with your snacks. We know how to masticate our chips, dammit. > > As far as I’m concerned an incompetant masticator is worthless! Is that only chips, or does it include pretzel bits? Y’know, following up on **Reeder** , since our CinC _was_ almost taken down by his snacks back at the start fo his term… 😉 And boy am I thankful that the blimp is out of commission. I would not want him on a tower AND with air support… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-makes-me-want-to-grab-my-rifle-and-climb-a-tower/277811.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-just-makes-me-want-to-grab-my-rifle-and-climb-a-tower/277811.md?page=3)