# This kid must be high **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 7, 2006, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-kid-must-be-high/347345 "2006-03-07T04:20:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-kid-must-be-high/347345/41 "2006-03-07T20:07:16Z")
[QUOTE=VarlosZ] In places that aren’t West Allis, Wisconsin – where cops routinely have more serious crimes to worry about. Here in New York, cops will often arrest you for possession, but it’s frequently a pretense for some other bad act, and they just as often will tell you not to smoke on the street and send you on your way. [/QUOTE] > [@pkbites](#): > > I’m not an officer for West Allis. I only live here. **pkbites** : I work in Milwaukee. It’s a city with a population of about a million people. **VarlosZ** : So, there must have been a lot of hubbub when that cow got loose. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-kid-must-be-high/347345/42 "2006-03-07T20:40:36Z")
[QUOTE=Excalibre] It would be stupid of him to treat his parents’ rules as absolute - following your logic to its end, it seems like it would be dishonorable for a young girl not to cooperate if her father molests her, since it’s under his roof. Not that his parents’ actions are comparable, but they are indefensible in my opinion. Being a parent does not give you the right - not morally, anyway - to disrespect a child’s autonomy as a person in that way. It’s just my opinion, of course, but I can’t imagine how you could possible ascribe “honor” to this child cooperating with his invasive, overbearing parents. [/QUOTE] I was appreciating your argument up to here. First, that is not following the logic, that is veering way off course. A parent molesting or abusing a child is illegal. It is not dishonorable to put a stop to illegal activities. If daddy hands you a needle full of smack and tells kid to inject, there is also no dishonor in refusing. The _most_ honorable thing to do would be to report parental behavior in these cases. Possession and use of maryjane is illegal, for better or for worse. Any child who chooses to disrespect his parents by undertaking illegal activities in their home, when told not to, is an ASS of epic proportions. Doesn’t matter that you don’t think marijuana should be illegal. It is. There is no ‘honor’ in refusing to obey the law while under your parents’ roof. On that, I agree with **pkbites**. I am purposely addressing only actions inside the parents’ home. Only use and/or storage of marijuana in the parents’ home. Lastly, > [@](#): > > Being a parent does not give you the right - not morally, anyway - to disrespect a child’s autonomy as a person in that way. What the hell do you think the role of a parent is? It is called ‘setting and enforcing boundaries’. It is one of our main functions that help shepherd a child into adulthood. ---
**Author:** ![phungi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phungi/32/395_2.png) [@phungi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phungi)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-kid-must-be-high/347345/43 "2006-03-07T20:46:43Z")
[QUOTE=mhendo] The question is not really whether pot can do any harm at all—most people concede that it can—but whether its levels of harm (both to the user and to friends and family members) are substantively different from drugs that millions of Americans use legally every day. I’ve never heard of anyone beating his wife unconscious after too many joints. [/QUOTE] Really, man! Nothing worse than stoners stopping for green lights! ---
**Author:** ![butler1850](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@butler1850](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butler1850)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-kid-must-be-high/347345/44 "2006-03-07T20:51:41Z")
[QUOTE=duffer] Yup, that’s exactly what I said. Or was it something along the lines of “I wonder which of the 3 he’ll attend”. As in I wonder which 3 he’s talking about and which will be accepting him this fall. You do know that there are more than 3 major Universities, right? As far as the bills? He’s 17. I doubt he has a mortgage payment. Or an electric bill. Or a heating bill. Or health insurance deducted from his full-time job. Put the bong down for a moment and let the adults speak. Here’s a Twinkie to occupy your time. :rolleyes: [/QUOTE] Goodness knows that none of the adults I know that still smoke some herb have never paid those bills, or dealt with those issues… I’m sure all those professional friends that I have must be on the edge of losing their house, having the lights turned off, and the oil run dry, only to be kicked to the curb when they visit the ER. Yep, that must be what’s happening to many of my friends. Oh ya, and all of our wives must be about to walk out the door too… ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-kid-must-be-high/347345/45 "2006-03-07T20:53:30Z")
[QUOTE=D\_Odds] I was appreciating your argument up to here. First, that is not following the logic, that is veering way off course. A parent molesting or abusing a child is illegal. It is not dishonorable to put a stop to illegal activities. If daddy hands you a needle full of smack and tells kid to inject, there is also no dishonor in refusing. The _most_ honorable thing to do would be to report parental behavior in these cases. Possession and use of maryjane is illegal, for better or for worse. Any child who chooses to disrespect his parents by undertaking illegal activities in their home, when told not to, is an ASS of epic proportions. Doesn’t matter that you don’t think marijuana should be illegal. It is. There is no ‘honor’ in refusing to obey the law while under your parents’ roof. On that, I agree with **pkbites**. I am purposely addressing only actions inside the parents’ home. Only use and/or storage of marijuana in the parents’ home. Lastly, What the hell do you think the role of a parent is? It is called ‘setting and enforcing boundaries’. It is one of our main functions that help shepherd a child into adulthood. [/QUOTE] Defending stupid laws for the sole reason of following the letter of the law is ridiculous. If the boundaries are wrong (and marijuana laws _are_ wrong), you’re not shepherding…you’re teaching your child to be a sheep. “Under their roof” should have nothing to do with it. Would you say the same if your child brought home a boyfriend or girlfriend of another race back in the 50s? If your child was thirsty and drank out of a water fountain belonging to “the other side”? The “because I said so” argument doesn’t hold water. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-kid-must-be-high/347345/46 "2006-03-07T20:55:59Z")
[QUOTE=D\_Odds] I was appreciating your argument up to here. First, that is not following the logic, that is veering way off course. A parent molesting or abusing a child is illegal. It is not dishonorable to put a stop to illegal activities. If daddy hands you a needle full of smack and tells kid to inject, there is also no dishonor in refusing. The _most_ honorable thing to do would be to report parental behavior in these cases. Possession and use of maryjane is illegal, for better or for worse. Any child who chooses to disrespect his parents by undertaking illegal activities in their home, when told not to, is an ASS of epic proportions. Doesn’t matter that you don’t think marijuana should be illegal. It is. There is no ‘honor’ in refusing to obey the law while under your parents’ roof. On that, I agree with **pkbites**. I am purposely addressing only actions inside the parents’ home. Only use and/or storage of marijuana in the parents’ home. [/quote] I don’t see why you equate _honorable_ with _legal_ so frequently. > [@](#): > > Lastly, What the hell do you think the role of a parent is? It is called ‘setting and enforcing boundaries’. It is one of our main functions that help shepherd a child into adulthood. You have a very black and white view of the world - judging from this, you essentially view a parent’s options as either completely neglect their child on one hand, or granting them no privacy and invading every aspect of their life. Well, I don’t buy that dichotomy. There’s a great big ol’ expanse between piss-testing your kid and neglecting him completely. I recommend you not reproduce until you figure that out. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-kid-must-be-high/347345/47 "2006-03-07T20:56:50Z")
In **duffer** ’s defense, I read his post initially as he said it was meant. I had to re-read it in a different ‘tone’ to inferences that **Rhubarb** and **Excalibre** and others made. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-kid-must-be-high/347345/48 "2006-03-07T20:56:52Z")
This thread makes me chuckle. I smoked pot in my dad’s house two weeks ago. I smoked it with him. He’s 76. ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-kid-must-be-high/347345/49 "2006-03-07T20:59:45Z")
[QUOTE=Neurotik] **pkbites** : I work in Milwaukee. It’s a city with a population of about a million people. **VarlosZ** : So, there must have been a lot of hubbub when that cow got loose. [/QUOTE] I could talk about how I didn’t know where he worked, and if I did I wouldn’t have yada yada yada . . . . . . but what’s the point? You’re right, I’m an urban snob. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-kid-must-be-high/347345/50 "2006-03-07T21:02:58Z")
[QUOTE=D\_Odds] In **duffer** ’s defense, I read his post initially as he said it was meant. I had to re-read it in a different ‘tone’ to inferences that **Rhubarb** and **Excalibre** and others made. [/QUOTE] . . . right . . . He asked what universities the kid got admitted to and whether he paid his bills on time apropos of nothing, right? It had absolutely nothing to do with the discussion at hand. It related in no way to the child’s admission of drug use. Wow, if I squint hard enough and hit my head against the wall enough times, it almost becomes sort of believable. Why _did_ **duffer** ask that about the kid? If it had absolutely nothing to do with the discussion, then what was the purpose of asking? Even if he was suddenly really, really curious, he certainly knew none of us in this thread knew the answer. The only possible interpretation of what **duffer** said was that he was implying that the child was _not_ meeting his personal responsibilities. If you can come up with another _plausible_ interpretation of his comments - one that doesn’t rely on the completely ridiculous idea that **duffer** simply asked those questions for no reason at all and had no idea what he was implying - feel free to offer it. But **duffer** didn’t even manage to think one up, so I don’t foresee you succeeding. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-kid-must-be-high/347345/51 "2006-03-07T21:08:09Z")
[QUOTE=VarlosZ] I could talk about how I didn’t know where he worked, and if I did I wouldn’t have yada yada yada . . . . . . but what’s the point? You’re right, I’m an urban snob. [/QUOTE] I don’t know if he works in Milwaukee or not, but the exchange reminded me of a bit from _Newsradio_\*, which I reproduced and added your names to. In the actual version, it was Bill and Dave saying those lines. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-kid-must-be-high/347345/52 "2006-03-07T21:17:42Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun] Defending stupid laws for the sole reason of following the letter of the law is ridiculous. If the boundaries are wrong (and marijuana laws _are_ wrong), you’re not shepherding…you’re teaching your child to be a sheep. “Under their roof” should have nothing to do with it. Would you say the same if your child brought home a boyfriend or girlfriend of another race back in the 50s? If your child was thirsty and drank out of a water fountain belonging to “the other side”? The “because I said so” argument doesn’t hold water. [/QUOTE] Well, i don’t want to get into the position of analogizing this particular situation to things like racial segregation, but i do want to respond to your first paragraph. Despite my dislike for American law enforcement’s draconian attitude to weed, and my belief that marijuana should be completely legal, i do think that the “Under their roof” argument is a legitimate one. After all, even people who fully support the legalization of marijuana might have perfectly good reasons for not wanting it in their house. And, in fact, the draconian attitude that i mentioned above is one good reason. Given the way that some jurisdictions treat marijuana, i think that simple fear of prosecution is a pretty good reason for not wanting dope in the house. Some jurisdictions provide for seizure of assets in drug cases, and big items like cars, boats and even houses have been forfeited. I know that’s probably unlikely in a case like this, but some people might feel “better safe than sorry.” I actually prefer that people don’t smoke weed in our place when we have a party. In Australia, it never worried me at all. But i’m in America on a student visa, and (having married an American) am in the process of applying for residency. An arrest for marijuana could actually lead to me deportation, or to my residency application being refused. This is a big deal for me, and trumps my support for marijuana use right now. I don’t want to risk my whole future in the US for the sake of somepot at a party. Especially considering i don’t use the stuff myself. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-kid-must-be-high/347345/53 "2006-03-07T21:29:25Z")
[QUOTE=mhendo] Well, i don’t want to get into the position of analogizing this particular situation to things like racial segregation, but i do want to respond to your first paragraph. Despite my dislike for American law enforcement’s draconian attitude to weed, and my belief that marijuana should be completely legal, i do think that the “Under their roof” argument is a legitimate one. After all, even people who fully support the legalization of marijuana might have perfectly good reasons for not wanting it in their house. And, in fact, the draconian attitude that i mentioned above is one good reason. Given the way that some jurisdictions treat marijuana, i think that simple fear of prosecution is a pretty good reason for not wanting dope in the house. Some jurisdictions provide for seizure of assets in drug cases, and big items like cars, boats and even houses have been forfeited. I know that’s probably unlikely in a case like this, but some people might feel “better safe than sorry.” I actually prefer that people don’t smoke weed in our place when we have a party. In Australia, it never worried me at all. But i’m in America on a student visa, and (having married an American) am in the process of applying for residency. An arrest for marijuana could actually lead to me deportation, or to my residency application being refused. This is a big deal for me, and trumps my support for marijuana use right now. I don’t want to risk my whole future in the US for the sake of somepot at a party. Especially considering i don’t use the stuff myself. [/QUOTE] Well, in isolated, extreme cases such as yours, I would agree. But with regard to the garden variety American teenager who is using (not dealing, not growing) pot and who is functioning in school, at work, and in personal relationships (i.e., damn near all of them), and who is making a statement regarding the absurdity of marijuana laws, I applaud him. Every journey starts with one step. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-kid-must-be-high/347345/54 "2006-03-07T21:30:38Z")
I think the kid’s mom is within her rights to drug test her son as long as he is being supported by her and lives under her roof. I also think it was pretty dumb of the kid to give his full name. But I don’t think that makes him a poster child for the War on Drugs™. Marijuana is about as habit forming as Coca-Cola. (And yes, before you jump on me, I have known people with serious Coca-Cola habits.) Yes, I have seen people who were otherwise capable of doing more “wasting” their lives by never pursuing anything beyond their 9-to-5 and getting high. But then again, I know people who don’t do drugs that pretty much do the same thing with their Sony Playstation. The drug does not keep you from success, or prevent you from being able to function in society. All it does is make it easier to avoid doing what you already don’t want to do. Everyone I know who smokes weed but wants to do more with their life goes out and does more with their life. The drug is a nice way to _help_ you ignore things, it doesn’t _cause_ you to ignore them. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-kid-must-be-high/347345/55 "2006-03-07T21:31:15Z")
I want to emphasize that I’m referring to the “parental power trip” attitude we’re talking about; not reasoned, well thought-out reasons for forbidding something. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-kid-must-be-high/347345/56 "2006-03-07T21:35:39Z")
It’s just sad that the laws surrounding weed are so draconian and so ridiculously disproportionate to its dangers that someone’s property or potential residency would be risked by someone _else_ getting high in their house. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-kid-must-be-high/347345/57 "2006-03-07T21:36:46Z")
[QUOTE=Excalibre] I don’t see why you equate _honorable_ with _legal_ so frequently. You have a very black and white view of the world - judging from this, you essentially view a parent’s options as either completely neglect their child on one hand, or granting them no privacy and invading every aspect of their life. Well, I don’t buy that dichotomy. There’s a great big ol’ expanse between piss-testing your kid and neglecting him completely. I recommend you not reproduce until you figure that out. [/QUOTE] Too late. As a parent of teenagers, I understand that quite well. I also understand that if I ask my children to comply with a reasonable edict (such as don’t use illegal substances - whether or not I agree with the law - or such as don’t keep dirty dishes hidden in your room until they become science experiments and I have to engage exterminators) and they choose to ignore me and throw it in my face, I have every right to step up enforcement. I knew as I typed my previous post, some idiot would come in with the what-ifs. Probably should have started a pool to guess on what subject - it was going to be either racism or homosexuality, with alcohol during prohibition being the longshot. So, to answer the stupid query, I have not been a parent at any time in any place where interracial relationships are illegal. Nor have I had to deal with, as of yet, a homosexual child (although I don’t thing homosexual relations are illegal in NY - I could be wrong about that). Thus, I will burn those bridges when I cross them and laugh at the inane what-if at its absurd face value. [Aside, being multiracial Just one more bit: I would never “have” to administer a whiz quiz to my offspring. I’ve let them know, from their single digit years, that home life isn’t a courtroom drama. I don’t need “beyond a reasonable doubt” or even a “preponderance of evidence”. If I have to administer a test to a child who has been stupid enough to publicly state he is using illegal substances just to ‘prove’ he is still using, it means I’ve already lost control. It would be up to my child to prove to me that he isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-kid-must-be-high/347345/58 "2006-03-07T21:39:39Z")
[QUOTE=Excalibre] It’s just sad that the laws surrounding weed are so draconian and so ridiculously disproportionate to its dangers that someone’s property or potential residency would be risked by someone _else_ getting high in their house. [/QUOTE] Here we agree. And that is not a fight I want to, nor can afford to, fund. I’ve other windmills I’d rather tilt at. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-kid-must-be-high/347345/59 "2006-03-07T21:43:53Z")
[QUOTE=D\_Odds] Too late. As a parent of teenagers, I understand that quite well. I also understand that if I ask my children to comply with a reasonable edict (such as don’t use illegal substances - whether or not I agree with the law - or such as don’t keep dirty dishes hidden in your room until they become science experiments and I have to engage exterminators) and they choose to ignore me and throw it in my face, I have every right to step up enforcement. I knew as I typed my previous post, some idiot would come in with the what-ifs. Probably should have started a pool to guess on what subject - it was going to be either racism or homosexuality, with alcohol during prohibition being the longshot. So, to answer the stupid query, I have not been a parent at any time in any place where interracial relationships are illegal. Nor have I had to deal with, as of yet, a homosexual child (although I don’t thing homosexual relations are illegal in NY - I could be wrong about that). Thus, I will burn those bridges when I cross them and laugh at the inane what-if at its absurd face value. [Aside, being multiracial Just one more bit: I would never “have” to administer a whiz quiz to my offspring. I’ve let them know, from their single digit years, that home life isn’t a courtroom drama. I don’t need “beyond a reasonable doubt” or even a “preponderance of evidence”. If I have to administer a test to a child who has been stupid enough to publicly state he is using illegal substances just to ‘prove’ he is still using, it means I’ve already lost control. It would be up to my child to prove to me that he isn’t. [/QUOTE] Someone with your black-and-white view of the world would naturally not equate ridiculous marijuana law enforcement with other injustices, but that doesn’t make the comparison any less valid. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-kid-must-be-high/347345/60 "2006-03-07T21:49:19Z")
[QUOTE=Excalibre] The only possible interpretation of what **duffer** said was that he was implying that the child was _not_ meeting his personal responsibilities. If you can come up with another _plausible_ interpretation of his comments - one that doesn’t rely on the completely ridiculous idea that **duffer** simply asked those questions for no reason at all and had no idea what he was implying - feel free to offer it. But **duffer** didn’t even manage to think one up, so I don’t foresee you succeeding. [/QUOTE] Obviously that is wrong, as I did come up with a different initial interpretation. I don’t read poster’s names before reading a post, which helps me avoid pre-judging any post. Only if the post catches my attention do I look to who posts it. I say this so that you don’t think I’m defending **duffer** simply for being **duffer**. **duffer** ’s initial post sailed completely beneath my radar. However, if **duffer** meant it as you think **duffer** meant it, I happen to agree. Marijuana isn’t any more dangerous than cigarets and/or alcohol. It just happens to be illegal, for stupid reasons. For equally stupid reasons, it is illegal for me to buy a six-pack before noon on a Sunday. Doesn’t make it right, but there are better causes to support. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-kid-must-be-high/347345.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-kid-must-be-high/347345.md?page=4)