Marge: COF - FEE.
Australian bartender: BE - ER ?
People really do seem to shut off their brains when listening to a name spelling - one time, I was helping them with the N/M problem by saying - “N as in Nancy” and the clerk or whatever responded with “M as in Mary?” I should have responded with, “No, M as in Nancy.”
I have a name with approximately 900 million homonyms or near-homonyms. And mine is the least common spelling for it I’ve ever encountered.
I just spell it for everyone now, and even that only works 50% of the time.
Me: Sholes. S-H-O-L-E-S.
Them: writes down SCHOLLS or SCHULTZ or SHULLS
Me: stabs them in the eye with their own pen
In a just world, I’d be able to say “You know, like the guy who invented the typewriter keyboard.” (among hackers, that actually works.)
My name is short, and fairly common. Four letters. I have to spell it every time. :smack:
My first name comes from the King James Bible, but even here in the heart of the bible-belt, folks often get it wrong. As a non-believer, I enjoy chiding them “Just like in the Bible. You know, the story where…You do know that story, right? When’s the last time you went to church?” 
I have peculiar experiences with regard to my accent in the US. Some people don’t notice I’m not from the US, others know instantly I’m from Ireland, still others can’t comprehend a word I’m saying.
Some people have what I call a “time-delay accent” - I can understand them, but I get what they’re saying a couple of seconds after they’ve said it.
Back when I was in school in North Carolina, I had an interesting experience taking a customer’s fast food order over the phone.
me: “Your name please?”
her: “Bail”
me: “Spelled B-A-I-L?”
her: “No, Bale”
me: “Oh, spelled B-A-L-E?”
her: “No, spelled B-E-L-L!”
me: :smack:
Actual receptionist responding. If you are on a cell phone, its likely I can’t hear you clearly enough to understand you, ditto with speaker phones. I grew up in the Philly suburbs so I should be used to people who talk fast, but I spent most of my adult life in the Cleveland area, where speech is a little slower, and I frequently have to ask people to repeat themselves. The part I hate is when people give me more information than I asked to be repeated, in a condescending tone…I know I have a bottom of the barrel job, but I’m not stupid, and fortunately for you, I’m not vindictive either, because the receptionist really can make your life hell if she takes a dislike to you.
Cartwright, party of four!
(Wow, it’s been forever since I made a Seinfeld reference.)
Actually I can see how that might happen. I pronounce k as Kay. So while your saying
Ky la
you may be pronouncing it
Kay la
Declan
Uh, the letter K is pronounced as ‘Kay’, sure, but you don’t pronounce the letter like that when it’s with other letters. Michael is not “Emmichael”. Brad is not “Beerad”.
Kayla Declan?
No, that’s “K. La D. Clan.” Pay attention.
K Lady Clan?
Band Name!
-“My name is Neil. Not Dale. Neil. Like Armstrong.”
-"…"
-“The guy who walked on the Moon?”
-"…"
-“Okay, like Neil Young.”
name-taking-person writes down Dale Young
RNATB/Neil inserts rusty speculum into name-taker’s ear and opens it until something pops
Is that a Wu Tang Clan spin-off?
This is a very weird thing to say. I know how I pronounce my name. It is just like the more common male name Kyle, but with an a at the end. It is NOT pronounced like Kayla, not by me and not by anyone else because every time someone does, I correct them. (I don’t understand why some people let others continually mispronounce their names.)
Not getting the point across here, IDT.
K Y L A, spelled fast (“kay-why-ell-ay”)
can run together and be indistinguishable from
K A Y L A, spelled fast (“kay-ay-why-ell-ay”).
If I say “kay” and hold it just a tick longer than normal, it sounds like “kay-ay.”
Still, the guy should have thought to ask. Then again, there are a million reasons not to think at any given moment.
Oh Beerad… It’s been forever seen I’ve heard that one- B-rad is usually how I hear it in my head. I think it was from a Jamie Kennedy movie a while back, but that’s one of the best Nickname bastardizations of a name I’ve ever seen.