# This morning, Bella, my neighbor's dog of 18 years moved on . **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 6, 2018, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-morning-bella-my-neighbors-dog-of-18-years-moved-on/811939 "2018-04-06T19:30:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![harmonicamoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@harmonicamoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmonicamoon)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2018, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-morning-bella-my-neighbors-dog-of-18-years-moved-on/811939/1 "2018-04-06T19:30:51Z")
Possibly some of you have been through this. What can I do to ease their pain? And they have a great deal of it. Thanks for your replies. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2018, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-morning-bella-my-neighbors-dog-of-18-years-moved-on/811939/2 "2018-04-06T19:48:26Z")
Oh, that is so sad. I had a dog into her 20s before she died. It is like losing a dear friend or close family member. Treat it like it was a human. Tell them how sorry you are and ask can you do anything to help. And… (big one) do not tell them to run get another dog or say anything like ‘oh it was just a dog’. Check on them periodically. I was sick with what seemed like flu for a couple of weeks. Just be a kind neighbor. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2018, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-morning-bella-my-neighbors-dog-of-18-years-moved-on/811939/3 "2018-04-06T20:01:42Z")
Do you have any hair or pictures? Having thousands of dogs as clients, I get a call about a dog passing on about once every couple weeks, one just a couple hours ago, in fact ☹ . I usually make them a photo album of their visits, and a glass ornament with a lock of their hair inside, and their name on the outside. The death of a dog is hard to get over, especially since from a practical standpoint, it really shouldn’t be. So, it is harder to get others to sympathize with your pain, and it is hard to even take your own pain seriously, “It’s just a dog.” afterall. If you have a dog, letting them interact with it may help some, but it may not, see what they want. What you don’t want to do is to talk about replacing the dog. Don’t talk about where they could go, or what kind of dog they should get. If they want to get a new dog, they will. Right now, they are grieving for their old one, and they know that while a new dog may bring them joy, it will not replace the pain they feel right now. But really, just be friendly and supportive. Don’t bring it up unless they do. The dog was 18, so, while it is certainly sad, it was not unexpected. OTOH, having something be a part of your life for 18 years leaves a big hole that is hard to fill. I’ve noticed that most of my clients tend to get over their dog’s passing within a few weeks, and often have another dog within a year. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2018, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-morning-bella-my-neighbors-dog-of-18-years-moved-on/811939/4 "2018-04-06T20:09:07Z")
I’ve had a few dogs pass away. I really never expected anything from my neighbors other than “that’s too bad. He was a nice dog”. You can’t really ease their pain. They just have to get over it. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2018, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-morning-bella-my-neighbors-dog-of-18-years-moved-on/811939/5 "2018-04-06T22:14:03Z")
You should offer to do the eulogy during the funeral, and maybe be one of the pallbearers to help carry the casket. Set up a college fund account in the dog’s memory for some future young pups that want to go to dog college. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2018, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-morning-bella-my-neighbors-dog-of-18-years-moved-on/811939/6 "2018-04-06T22:57:28Z")
Really? Don’t be a jerk. If you don’t have something useful to add, don’t post something jerkish instead. No warning issued, but really. > [@pool](#): > > You should offer to do the eulogy during the funeral, and maybe be one of the pallbearers to help carry the casket. Set up a college fund account in the dog’s memory for some future young pups that want to go to dog college. ---
**Author:** ![Capn\_Carl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Capn\_Carl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capn_Carl)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2018, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-morning-bella-my-neighbors-dog-of-18-years-moved-on/811939/7 "2018-04-06T23:09:18Z")
We lost our dog after 16 years. A cousin knew how attached I was to her, so he prompted me to tell him a few stories about the dog, and he just listened. This was great. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2018, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-morning-bella-my-neighbors-dog-of-18-years-moved-on/811939/8 "2018-04-07T20:55:45Z")
You can tell the neighbors that you liked their dog and will miss him or her (be careful not to call the dog “it”). You can tell them that you know how much pain they’re in. You can share memories of the dog, especially happy ones or ones that highlight the dog’s personality. You can tell them they can call or visit if they want to talk. I agree with **Beckdawrek** : don’t tell your neighbors that they can get another dog. This would be like telling a couple who’d lost a child that they could have another. It’s not like their car was totaled. They are in mourning for this particular dog.