# This Morning I was a "Typical" Male **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 19, 2017, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-morning-i-was-a-typical-male/782526 "2017-03-19T03:11:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2017, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-morning-i-was-a-typical-male/782526/1 "2017-03-19T03:11:20Z")
My wife got up to feed the animals, then came back to bed and put her leg across me. She discovered that I not only was snoring but also had morning wood. I can understand not caring for the snoring, but at my age I’m happy to still get morning wood (she doesn’t yet know that it was due to the dream I was having about her). ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2017, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-morning-i-was-a-typical-male/782526/2 "2017-03-19T04:26:26Z")
A typical male would have fed the animals himself. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2017, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-morning-i-was-a-typical-male/782526/3 "2017-03-19T04:48:11Z")
A typical male would be chopping that wood. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2017, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-morning-i-was-a-typical-male/782526/4 "2017-03-19T05:00:15Z")
A typical male would have have pulled his woman towards his wood and put it to good use. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2017, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-morning-i-was-a-typical-male/782526/5 "2017-03-19T05:10:33Z")
At my age, wood isn’t so much typical as a miracle. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2017, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-morning-i-was-a-typical-male/782526/6 "2017-03-19T05:50:45Z")
A typical male makes blanket statements. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2017, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-morning-i-was-a-typical-male/782526/7 "2017-03-19T06:30:51Z")
Ah, I can’t post that! ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2017, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-morning-i-was-a-typical-male/782526/8 "2017-03-19T09:35:25Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Ah, I can’t post that! Unlike **P-man** , who posted his post. ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2017, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-morning-i-was-a-typical-male/782526/9 "2017-03-19T18:10:47Z")
> [@pool](#): > > A typical male would have have pulled his woman towards his wood and put it to good use. Even while he’s asleep? ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2017, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-morning-i-was-a-typical-male/782526/10 "2017-03-20T21:22:51Z")
A typical male would have been dreaming about your wife’s hot sister who always dresses way too inappropriately for Thanksgiving and Christmas and who I swear to God does it on purpose ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2017, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-morning-i-was-a-typical-male/782526/11 "2017-03-20T21:28:00Z")
It’s just the kind of OP you run up the flagpole to see who salutes. ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2017, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-morning-i-was-a-typical-male/782526/12 "2017-03-20T23:36:59Z")
> [@Sir\_T-Cups](#): > > A typical male would have been dreaming about your wife’s hot sister who always dresses way too inappropriately for Thanksgiving and Christmas and who I swear to God does it on purpose But my wife doesn’t have a sister. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2017, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-morning-i-was-a-typical-male/782526/13 "2017-03-20T23:41:57Z")
A typical male would have eaten the animals raw for breakfast, and then his wife. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2017, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-morning-i-was-a-typical-male/782526/14 "2017-03-21T00:15:25Z")
I hate to disillusion wonderful wifey, but Morning Wood might just be a distended bladder. ☹ C’est la vie. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2017, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-morning-i-was-a-typical-male/782526/15 "2017-03-21T13:53:54Z")
> [@P-man](#): > > But my wife doesn’t have a sister. You’re not supposed to ruin the joke by bringing in that pesky reality!