# This sign means YOU **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 10, 2002, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-sign-means-you/113319 "2002-06-10T22:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-sign-means-you/113319/1 "2002-06-10T22:15:07Z")
“No Smoking- Ashtray is here to extinguish smoking materials prior to entering building” (Smokers stand under this daily puffing away- it’s right in front of the hospital I work at, and located near an air intake.) “Do not idle engines- air intake” (People sit there all the time with their engines running, because the sign clearly doesn’t mean them) “Warning: Drought- No campfires, you fucking moron!” (Some asshole made one anyway, which caused the fire that is burning closer and closer to Denver [http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=514&ncid=716&e=2&u=/ap/20020610/ap\_on\_re\_us/wildfires\_83](http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=514&ncid=716&e=2&u=/ap/20020610/ap_on_re_us/wildfires_83) ) “Speed Limit: 45 miles per hour” (Dipshit asswipe tailgated me all the way down a back road this morning because I wouldn’t speed up for him. Why? Because it’s an area with loads of deer, and hitting one of those at high speed once was enough for me, thanks. Don’t like it? Lobby for a speed limit change. Otherwise, get the fuck off my ass) You know what, I know all signs don’t make sense, but for the love of freaking Pete, can people just pay some attention once in a while? Smoking directly below a “NO SMOKING” sign? Starting a fire during a drought? NEWSFLASH: THE RULES APPLY TO YOU, TOO. Just because it isn’t a law or you won’t get caught/in trouble doesn’t give you carte blanche to do whatever the fuck you want. Get over yourself and pay attention already. If only life had a “Don’t be a jerk” rule. I would walk around with a “banned” rubberstamp and use it all day long. Zette ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-sign-means-you/113319/2 "2002-06-10T22:23:20Z")
> [@](#): > > If only life had a “Don’t be a jerk” rule. I would walk around with a “banned” rubberstamp and use it all day long. **Zette** , dear, I’ve been looking all over for a new sig. Could I make use of this? ---
**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-sign-means-you/113319/3 "2002-06-10T22:30:17Z")
[sing] Sign Sign everywhere a sign, blocking out the…[/sing] Um, maybe not the right thread for that. Yeah it is amazing how stupid people can be. Everyone wants to think they are the exception to the rule _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Jadis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@Jadis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jadis)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-sign-means-you/113319/4 "2002-06-10T22:32:58Z")
Here’s what you need to do/say the next time you walk past the smokers in front of your buiding. 1. Stop dead in your tracks and stare at the smoker(s) for a minimum of 30 seconds. A puzzled expression on your face may help. 2. Shift your attention to the “No Smoking” notice and stare at it pointedly for a minimum of 30 seconds. 3. In your most sympathetic voice, tell the smoker(s) that illiteracy must be a dreadful handicap to deal with. 4. Proceed into the building and report them to building security. See how easy (yet entertaining) that can be? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-sign-means-you/113319/5 "2002-06-10T22:40:21Z")
KneadToKnow, sure can- I’d be honored. Jadis, screw that. Next time I’m gonna slap the lot of 'em, Stooge style. Or yell out in my best redneck voice: “What is ya, ignit?” Zette ---
**Author:** ![pendgwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3da27b/32.png) [@pendgwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pendgwen)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-sign-means-you/113319/6 "2002-06-10T22:41:24Z")
My personal favorite is the people who will stand right next to the “Please turn off cell phones, they may interfere with medical equipment” signs in the ER yakking away on their phones all the while. And then they act indignant when asked to either turn off the phone or step outside. I’m sorry but the heart monitors are only used on people whose heart rhythms it would be a good idea to monitor. Thus, those signals are more important than your phone call. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-sign-means-you/113319/7 "2002-06-10T22:48:24Z")
> [@](#): > > sure can- I’d be honored Done and done. The honor’s all mine. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-sign-means-you/113319/8 "2002-06-10T23:44:05Z")
No Returns Without a Receipt MEANS JUST THAT!!! ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-sign-means-you/113319/9 "2002-06-11T00:56:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*No Returns Without a Receipt MEANS JUST THAT!!! \*\* **BAH!** I’ve returned without a receipt _ **LOADS** _ of times. Heck - once I returned something without a receipt, and only later realized I’d returned it to the wrong store! I’m just really bitchy. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-sign-means-you/113319/10 "2002-06-11T01:58:47Z")
I had a roommate in college who had adopted her life’s philosophy from a bumper sticker–“Question Authority.” Anything on a sign was anathema to her. At our college library there was a sign on the women’s restroom door saying “Please open door slowly.” Roomie sees this, spouts some rhetoric about why **the man** is trying to inhibit her creativity by making her open the door slowly, and proceeds to _kick_ the door open. Surprise! She kicked the door into the face of a woman trying to exit the restroom. What a shocker to find out that sign was on the door for a reason. Sheeeeesh. Later she joined the Army, so I guess her philosophy changed. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-sign-means-you/113319/11 "2002-06-11T02:20:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*If only life had a “Don’t be a jerk” rule. I would walk around with a “banned” rubberstamp and use it all day long. > > Zette \*\*I love it. I was at the pool today with my kids. Big freaking sign by the main pool (several of them, in fact) _“No children in diapers in the main pool.”_ And yet, I see several parents carrying diaper-wearing tots into the main pool. Excuse me, get your peeing-and-pooping kid out of the pool I’m swimming in! Now! Jerk. Other sign: _“No food on the pool deck. All food must be consumed in the designated picnic areas.”_ But what do I see? People unpacking full picnics on the pool deck. It draws bugs, you frigging moron! I did go complain today, after one woman’s kids kept spilling bottles of Hawaiian Punch all over. Oh, great, ants. Idiots. Must be nice to be able to ignore the rules. :rolleyes: Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-sign-means-you/113319/12 "2002-06-11T02:32:37Z")
“12 items or less” means… wait for it… 12 ITEMS OR LESS, GODDAMMIT!!! ---
**Author:** ![zorch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/50afbb/32.png) [@zorch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zorch)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-sign-means-you/113319/13 "2002-06-11T02:36:29Z")
Yes. Yes. Yes. In fact, if the offenses become egregious, I think we should consider deportation–to any country willing to take them. Maybe give them ‘three-strikes’ per year or something. ---
**Author:** ![Jurhael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@Jurhael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurhael)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-sign-means-you/113319/14 "2002-06-11T02:56:28Z")
“People sit there all the time with their engines running, because the sign clearly doesn’t mean them” Oh, no! Of COURSE not! “Surprise! She kicked the door into the face of a woman trying to exit the restroom. What a shocker to find out that sign was on the door for a reason. Sheeeeesh.” Yea, really. Questioning Authority doesn’t mean to do stupid things and it certainly doesn’t mean to break every rule in existance! Yoiks… ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-sign-means-you/113319/15 "2002-06-11T03:37:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KneadToKnow \* > > **Zette** , dear, I’ve been looking all over for a new sig. Could I make use of this? Dangit, that’s what I get for taking afternoon naps, I miss out on the perfect sig. Except that I wouldn’t use just a rubber stamp, not me… ---
**Author:** ![Pammipoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/87869e/32.png) [@Pammipoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pammipoo)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-sign-means-you/113319/16 "2002-06-11T04:19:53Z")
At work, we have two windows for placing orders. During peak periods, we hang signs above them…one says “Express Lane: Ice Cream and Drinks Only. NO FOOD ORDERS!”, and the other says “This side for FOOD ORDERS ONLY!” If we take food orders out of both windows, it backs up the kitchen, and the manager back there bitches. Usually during lunch we have a line to the street for food orders, and very few people for ice cream until after they all eat. Someone will bypass the long line, and go to the short line and start to put in a kitchen order. “I’m sorry Ma’am, this line is for ice cream only. You’ll have to wait in that line.” “But look how long it is! I’ve been waiting for ten minutes in this line!” (Downright lie…there usually is no line for ice cream!) “I’m sorry, but I cant take your order here.” “You’re not doing anything though. This is bullshit!” This is usually the point where they storm out. Oy. ---
**Author:** ![Doc\_Nickel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5fc32e/32.png) [@Doc\_Nickel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doc_Nickel)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-sign-means-you/113319/17 "2002-06-11T10:09:07Z")
See it all the time. Local small-town Post Office has two large red-on-white “NO PARKING” signs on the space right in front of the entrance doors. I make regular trips to the PO, and probably _half_ the time or better, there’ll be somebody sitting there, probably while their buddy/wife/kid/friend “just runs in real quick to check”. Once or twice I’ve done the **Jadis** : I’ll be walking along, in front of the car or truck parked there, and I’ll do a semi-exaggerated double-take. Stop abruptly and stare at the sign for a second, then glance over at the vehicle, then look back at the sign, then look back at the vehicle… After about twenty second of that, I’ll start walking toward the entrances again, shaking my head. Don’t know if it gets any results, but it’s fun. Amazing how far some people get in life, while operating on merely a brain stem. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-sign-means-you/113319/18 "2002-06-11T12:18:01Z")
> [@](#): > > Dangit, that’s what I get for taking afternoon naps, I miss out on the perfect sig. You could always pull rank on me, **Lynn**. I’d be willing to trade it for “An administrator pulled rank on me and all I got was this stupid sig.” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![DemonSpawn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac8455/32.png) [@DemonSpawn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DemonSpawn)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-sign-means-you/113319/19 "2002-06-11T12:47:18Z")
There’s a sign right next to the building my appartment is in “No parking - fire entrance”, because that’s the way through for fire trucks in case, you know, the house is on fire! There’s this guy with a huge Mercedes who lives in the same building. He used to park his car next to the NO PARKING sign every night. I asked myself: 1. why is he parking there in the first place? 2. why can somebody who can afford a huge Merc not affort to rent a space in the parking lot like everybody else who lives in that building? What I did? At least once a month I put a piece of paper on his windshield with the following text: “Is your car red and has a blue lamp and a ladder on the roof? If yes, OK. If no, please do not park in the designated fire brigade space.” I try to talk myself into believing that he is parking there less frequently now, but I feel it’s not true… idiot! ---
**Author:** ![blanx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f04885/32.png) [@blanx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blanx)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-sign-means-you/113319/20 "2002-06-11T13:51:42Z")
**KneadtoKnow** gets a rubberstamp. **Lynn** needs a branding iron. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-sign-means-you/113319.md?page=2)