# This thing is the best of the best of mankind's inventions! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 28, 2014, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thing-is-the-best-of-the-best-of-mankinds-inventions/702740 "2014-10-28T14:18:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CoastalMaineiac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@CoastalMaineiac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CoastalMaineiac)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2014, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thing-is-the-best-of-the-best-of-mankinds-inventions/702740/1 "2014-10-28T14:18:17Z")
Never mind the automobile, the polio vaccine, the computer, the smart phone. I picked [one of these](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003YZ3BTU/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_dp_ss_2/177-7417768-1289120?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_r=06RJ1BFWEW7ZRZXEEDAT&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_p=1944687662&pf_rd_i=B001IHXFQK) up at a dollar store recently. The ultimate in self-pleasuring tools, and for only $1.06. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2014, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thing-is-the-best-of-the-best-of-mankinds-inventions/702740/2 "2014-10-28T18:06:02Z")
Years from now, when archaeologists dig up a cell phone or a computer, they’ll know exactly what they are. But the scalp massager – that’ll have them scratching their heads. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2014, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thing-is-the-best-of-the-best-of-mankinds-inventions/702740/3 "2014-10-28T20:16:56Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Years from now, when archaeologists dig up a cell phone or a computer, they’ll know exactly what they are. But the scalp massager – that’ll have them scratching their heads. 😃 But seriously, **CoastalMaineiac** , I think that thing is actually an alien brain control device. ---
**Author:** ![CoastalMaineiac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@CoastalMaineiac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CoastalMaineiac)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2014, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thing-is-the-best-of-the-best-of-mankinds-inventions/702740/4 "2014-10-28T22:10:26Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > 😃 > > But seriously, **CoastalMaineiac** , I think that thing is actually an alien brain control device. You know, it does sort of have a hypnotic effect to it.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2014, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thing-is-the-best-of-the-best-of-mankinds-inventions/702740/5 "2014-10-29T11:15:22Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > 😃 > > But seriously, **CoastalMaineiac** , I think that thing is actually an alien brain control device. Alien device??? Hell, that thing is the alien. … they have sex by wrapping their legs around their mates heads and bumping uglies. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2014, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thing-is-the-best-of-the-best-of-mankinds-inventions/702740/6 "2014-10-29T16:27:18Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Years from now, when archaeologists dig up a cell phone or a computer, they’ll know exactly what they are. But the scalp massager – that’ll have them scratching their heads. Well played. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2014, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thing-is-the-best-of-the-best-of-mankinds-inventions/702740/7 "2014-10-29T16:29:58Z")
It’s a close second after the TV remote. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2014, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thing-is-the-best-of-the-best-of-mankinds-inventions/702740/8 "2014-10-29T17:10:42Z")
Oh! We used to have one of those. I think someone got it as a gag gift. The sensation of a dozen, wiry, alien fingers slithering down your scalp is actually slightly more pleasant than it sounds. Slightly. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2014, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thing-is-the-best-of-the-best-of-mankinds-inventions/702740/9 "2014-10-29T17:17:25Z")
[This](http://www.amazon.com/Ninja-Gear-Original-Bamboo-Scratcher/dp/B002FQM1I6/ref=pd_sim_sbs_hpc_6?ie=UTF8&refRID=1H9DQ9R7R0TFW9Z19DM9) is the best $1.00 I ever spent at the dollar store. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2014, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thing-is-the-best-of-the-best-of-mankinds-inventions/702740/10 "2014-10-29T17:20:13Z")
Ladies, don’t even consider using that on your boobs. It’s not only agains the law in 37 states (including yours!) but it’s also just a really bad idea. Don’t do that. Ever. Are you listening? ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2014, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thing-is-the-best-of-the-best-of-mankinds-inventions/702740/11 "2014-10-29T20:18:38Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Ladies, don’t even consider using that on your boobs. It’s not only agains the law in 37 states (including yours!) but it’s also just a really bad idea. Don’t do that. Ever. Are you listening? Sounds like there’s a story here…