# This thread consists solely of punch lines to jokes. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 1, 2003, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957 "2003-09-01T12:42:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![curlybacon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc79bd/32.png) [@curlybacon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlybacon)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/41 "2003-09-01T15:43:03Z")
“Nigel’s fallen over” ---
**Author:** ![wanzewurld](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ab992/32.png) [@wanzewurld](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wanzewurld)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/42 "2003-09-01T15:44:00Z")
He was sitting in the criveway licking his nuts and I backed the car over him. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/43 "2003-09-01T15:45:26Z")
“That dog’ll bite you!” ---
**Author:** ![fizzygoodmakefeelnice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8491ac/32.png) [@fizzygoodmakefeelnice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fizzygoodmakefeelnice)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/44 "2003-09-01T15:53:57Z")
“I’ve been sleeping with all sorts”. ---
**Author:** ![curlybacon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc79bd/32.png) [@curlybacon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlybacon)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/45 "2003-09-01T15:56:16Z")
do you want to buy a chicken? ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/46 "2003-09-01T15:57:29Z")
“Well…ya got any grapes?” ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/47 "2003-09-01T16:00:17Z")
Dress her up as an altar boy. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/48 "2003-09-01T16:05:15Z")
“Nope. We just cut hair.” ---
**Author:** ![Soup\_du\_jour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Soup\_du\_jour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soup_du_jour)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/49 "2003-09-01T16:08:42Z")
It says the panda eats shoots and leaves. Just put it on my bill. A fish. He should have quit while he was a head. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/50 "2003-09-01T16:13:36Z")
“Well, let’s put it this way: you’re gonna die.” ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/51 "2003-09-01T16:15:47Z")
BECAUSE HE DID! ---
**Author:** ![Spiratu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@Spiratu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiratu)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/52 "2003-09-01T17:52:00Z")
For you, no charge. ---
**Author:** ![ace22](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f05b48/32.png) [@ace22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ace22)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/53 "2003-09-01T19:33:25Z")
“Oh, this? Yarr, it’s drivin’ me nuts.” ---
**Author:** ![moejuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@moejuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moejuck)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/54 "2003-09-01T19:57:06Z")
Because there’s no such thing as a smart blonde. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/55 "2003-09-01T20:13:08Z")
“What you mean WE, paleface?” ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/56 "2003-09-01T20:19:52Z")
“Well, most of us usually just ride it into town.” (parrot): “So…what did _you_ do to piss him off?” “You can bet your ass it won’t be cornflakes.” ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/57 "2003-09-01T20:21:04Z")
“Posse, Silver. Posse.” ---
**Author:** ![fortytwo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f9ae1b/32.png) [@fortytwo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fortytwo)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/58 "2003-09-01T20:21:09Z")
They make it about 100 yards into the woods, when the Japanese man jumps out from behind a tree and shouts: “SUPPLIES!!” ---
**Author:** ![nitroglycerine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c5a1d2/32.png) [@nitroglycerine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nitroglycerine)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/59 "2003-09-01T20:26:01Z")
“Great” said the hooker, “I’ll keep my eye out for you”. -and- “Well” said her dad, “Your brother wanted to go to the movies earlier.” Jon ---
**Author:** ![Salix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3e96dc/32.png) [@Salix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salix)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/60 "2003-09-01T20:34:24Z")
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