# This thread consists solely of punch lines to jokes. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 1, 2003, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957 "2003-09-01T12:42:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Dignan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@Dignan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dignan)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/61 "2003-09-01T21:03:31Z")
“Those aren’t buoys.” (Buoies? Not sure of the spelling.) ---
**Author:** ![SpectBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a87d85/32.png) [@SpectBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpectBrain)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/62 "2003-09-01T21:42:00Z")
And then he’ll say “Wooly-booger my ass!” I don’t care how many times you screw her, just quit using my ass for a tally board. Whatever the sheep says, it’s a damn lie! ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/63 "2003-09-01T22:24:57Z")
And the attorney says, “What’s the catch?” “Hey, I rang the doorbell didn’t I?” “What _did_ the chicken do?” One to hold the lightbulb and four to rotate the chair. ---
**Author:** ![malkabat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@malkabat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malkabat)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/64 "2003-09-01T22:26:17Z")
“I don’t know his name, but his face rings a bell.” and The Sequel… “He’s a dead ringer for his brother.” ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/65 "2003-09-01T22:33:35Z")
At my age, I think I’d rather have a talking frog. ---
**Author:** ![Catfood\_Purrito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Catfood\_Purrito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catfood_Purrito)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/66 "2003-09-01T23:02:55Z")
And the cop says, “voodoo penis my ass!” ---
**Author:** ![Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/67 "2003-09-01T23:03:23Z")
(sung) “Someone chanted evening!” ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/68 "2003-09-01T23:16:54Z")
“I just saw my wife, and she was on a skateboard!” “No, I’m a frayed knot!” “Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat that chewed the new shoes?” ---
**Author:** ![Theobroma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5a626/32.png) [@Theobroma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Theobroma)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/69 "2003-09-02T00:12:09Z")
No, I’m sure. See, I was going down Chauncey street, and everyone was saying, “Would you get a load of the schmuck on that camel!!” ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/70 "2003-09-02T00:22:07Z")
“Recognition. That’s all I want.” ---
**Author:** ![rolandgunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cdc98d/32.png) [@rolandgunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rolandgunslinger)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/71 "2003-09-02T00:34:44Z")
“Huh? It didn’t taste like a shrimp.” “Thats not a toilet you idiot! Thats a mop bucket!” " If five won’t get the taste out of my mouth, six won’t either." ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/72 "2003-09-02T01:03:02Z")
“Now where’s this Eskimo woman I’ve gotta wrestle?” ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/73 "2003-09-02T01:08:43Z")
“I couldn’t stop, bartender. It was all in one string.” ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/74 "2003-09-02T01:18:37Z")
No Sh\*t?!? Not much… ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/75 "2003-09-02T01:30:46Z")
Sure… but you hafta promise not to hit me in the head with that beer bottle… ---
**Author:** ![mdf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@mdf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mdf)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/76 "2003-09-02T02:45:23Z")
I don’t know - the last thing I remember is the monkey trying to get the cork back in. ---
**Author:** ![terd\_ferguson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@terd\_ferguson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terd_ferguson)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/77 "2003-09-02T02:51:31Z")
“It’s a dead mule, you thtupid thon of a bitch” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/78 "2003-09-02T02:59:56Z")
Someone stole our tent! Gotta get the taste out of my mouth. And I swear, Your Honor. That’s how she got into my room. ---
**Author:** ![Punoqllads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/79 "2003-09-02T03:31:45Z")
“You’ve got a drink named `Murray’?” “Ya know, I’ve been asked that question many different times, in many different ways. But this is the first I’ve been asked in the pluperfect subjunctive.” There was a short pause, followed by the sound of a gunshot. “Okay, now what?” ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/80 "2003-09-02T03:36:02Z")
a hormone… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957.md?page=5)