# This thread consists solely of punch lines to jokes. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 1, 2003, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957 "2003-09-01T12:42:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/81 "2003-09-02T03:40:02Z")
“Why do you ask, Two Dogs F\*\*king?” “Most guys would’ve just left her hanging there.” “Well, I bet them $100 that I could piss all over your bar and you’d just laugh about it.” ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/82 "2003-09-02T03:58:39Z")
Because it was dead… ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/83 "2003-09-02T04:10:59Z")
Dad. You’re drunk. Go home. Holy shit! A talking dog! ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/84 "2003-09-02T04:36:00Z")
“I’m getting declawed” ---
**Author:** ![green\_bladder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@green\_bladder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_bladder)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/85 "2003-09-02T04:40:02Z")
“Lunch is on me.” ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/86 "2003-09-02T04:51:06Z")
“A six-pack can’t satisfy eight men at once.” “Moooooooooooo!” “Got any grapes?” “You’d have a better chance at pulling your d\*ck out of a food processor” “She asked the dealer if he had a black model she could ride.” ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Babbington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Mr.Babbington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Babbington)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/87 "2003-09-02T04:56:02Z")
so the nun says to the rabbi, I thought you meant the kosher salami! ---
**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/88 "2003-09-02T05:03:52Z")
“Transporting a young gull across a staid lion for immortal porpoises” “That was from the hotel. Thith is from me — The nextht time you shnit, sntand, shtill!” “For you, no charge.” ---
**Author:** ![j\_sum1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8baadc/32.png) [@j\_sum1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_sum1)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/89 "2003-09-02T05:58:26Z")
I already had two obese Patties, special Ross. Lester Creep picking bunions on a Sesame Street Bus. Dang. I want the questions for some of these! ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/90 "2003-09-02T06:06:58Z")
…went off on a lark …hung himself …silly Rabbi, kicks are for trids …Oppornockity only tunes once. …“I’ll keep an eye out for you, sonny!” ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/91 "2003-09-02T06:23:53Z")
And the sadist said, “No.” “The sheep’s a liar!” “Yes, but what are you going to do?” “I’d hate to tell you what it looks like!” “Price of your beer, I’m not bloody surprised.” ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/92 "2003-09-02T06:26:33Z")
“Look out it’s not a bacon tree…it’s a ham bush.” ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/93 "2003-09-02T06:34:19Z")
Darn, **don’t ask** –I was about to use that one. No soap–radio! See how well it works? ---
**Author:** ![Petrichor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e19adc/32.png) [@Petrichor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Petrichor)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/94 "2003-09-02T06:57:15Z")
Now, I know she doesn’t like that. So I lean forward, quick as I can so the guy next to me doesn’t get clocked, and I tuck it right back in ---
**Author:** ![MidnightRadio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@MidnightRadio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MidnightRadio)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/95 "2003-09-02T07:03:29Z")
[ul] [li]And Superman said, “I don’t know, but my ass sure hurts.”[/li][li]I don’t ejaculate on the apple before I take a bite out of it.[/li][li]“Well, Father O’Riley usually gives me a Coke and a candy bar.”[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/96 "2003-09-02T09:48:30Z")
Repaint, you thinner! Tonight’s not the night. Keep the tip. Her business fell off. Come on, Fanny–let’s get out of here. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/97 "2003-09-02T10:40:32Z")
“And here you are getting ready to screw me out of my strawberries.” ---
**Author:** ![SpasmicChaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@SpasmicChaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpasmicChaos)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/98 "2003-09-02T10:48:33Z")
“Because cowboys like to eat with their hats on.” ---
**Author:** ![green\_bladder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@green\_bladder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_bladder)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/99 "2003-09-02T10:59:32Z")
“He needed the dough” ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/100 "2003-09-02T11:26:38Z")
“Just teach it to cook, and then fuck off” “The squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws on the other two hides” “Okay,” said the parrot. “What have you done with the ship?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957.md?page=6)