# This thread consists solely of punch lines to jokes. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 1, 2003, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957 "2003-09-01T12:42:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/141 "2003-09-03T14:45:19Z")
“Lady, this just ain’t your day.” ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/142 "2003-09-03T14:49:26Z")
[ul]Tarzan Stripes forever! A red brick! He’s a fungii! If I put terpentine on a cat’s ass, he can pass a Porsche! [/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/143 "2003-09-03T15:00:59Z")
Yes, doesn’t it? _Do_ start that other thread, lagomorph. There’s a couple I’m dying to find out; I just can’t remember if I’ve herd them. PS. As the actress said to the bishop. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/144 "2003-09-03T15:11:59Z")
“Urinate. But if you had any tits you’d be a ten.” ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/145 "2003-09-03T15:23:57Z")
“Oh no! Not another breatholizer test!” “What ever you do, don’t ask her for a hot dog!” ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/146 "2003-09-03T16:43:38Z")
“Oh no! I’m not a Marine – I’m just wearing his hat!” ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/147 "2003-09-03T16:56:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shade \* > **I just can’t remember if I’ve herd them.** “What do I care what a cow heard? I’ve got no secrets from a cow.” ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/148 "2003-09-03T17:19:57Z")
“I can see your house from here.” ---
**Author:** ![Isabelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5a626/32.png) [@Isabelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isabelle)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/149 "2003-09-03T17:28:37Z")
And now we will never know why there are two pink seals painted at the bottom of the pool! ---
**Author:** ![wakimika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f08c70/32.png) [@wakimika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wakimika)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/150 "2003-09-03T17:48:42Z")
“If the foo shits, wear it” “Small medium at large” someday I will find out what no soap-radio means ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/151 "2003-09-03T18:28:58Z")
Might be maggots, she’s been dead for weeks. That’s Nacho Cheese, that’s Nacho Cheese! Then go wash your hands. I want a cheese sandwich. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/152 "2003-09-03T19:17:05Z")
Says, “I don’t think so” and disappears. A purple fish. > [@](#): > > There are some great punch lines here, so good that I think in a few days I will start a thread called “Put the joke you used in the punch line thread here”. > [@](#): > > Do start that other thread, lagomorph. There’s a couple I’m dying to find out; I just can’t remember if I’ve herd them. You may want to try [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=208768) if you want to find out the joke behind the punchline. ---
**Author:** ![criminalcatalog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@criminalcatalog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/criminalcatalog)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/153 "2003-09-03T20:08:29Z")
Not being retarded. ---
**Author:** ![ForgottenLore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5e9695/32.png) [@ForgottenLore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ForgottenLore)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/154 "2003-09-03T21:19:46Z")
“Evil Boll Weevil !” ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/155 "2003-09-04T04:48:46Z")
“I’m a rabbit in Wyoming!” A potato and a six pack. At the door stood the pig and the cow. He’s not the one being punished, Cindy Crawford is. ---
**Author:** ![Fnoonf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f6c823/32.png) [@Fnoonf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fnoonf)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/156 "2003-09-04T04:59:01Z")
“So I’m hiding naked inside this fridge, right?” ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/157 "2003-09-04T05:42:09Z")
“Let me see that map again.” ---
**Author:** ![The\_MacDairmuid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_MacDairmuid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_MacDairmuid)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/158 "2003-09-04T07:01:30Z")
Where do you want these blinds, Sisters? The guy says to the barkeep, “Easy. I showed him.” “I guess we really **do** taste like chicken.” Are you going to believe a lawyer who tells you the Czech’s in the male? Hang on a minute, boy. I’m coming with you today. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/159 "2003-09-04T07:10:35Z")
“Wousy.” ---
**Author:** ![I\_Know\_Nothing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f04885/32.png) [@I\_Know\_Nothing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Know_Nothing)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/160 "2003-09-04T12:51:05Z")
“You can bet your ass its not gonna be Cherios” “I’m lookin’ fur the man who shot my paw” “Is the bar tender here?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957.md?page=9)