# This thread consists solely of punch lines to jokes. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 1, 2003, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957 "2003-09-01T12:42:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![paulberserker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@paulberserker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paulberserker)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/161 "2003-09-04T13:34:54Z")
“its the only 2 things that will fit under the door” “he forgot his fucking keys again” ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/162 "2003-09-04T13:43:01Z")
You’re a real asshole when you’re drunk, Superman. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/163 "2003-09-04T16:40:55Z")
Geese! And, gosh, I had to give you extra credit for doing it all through the muffler. Now she’s making money on the side. Two Milky Ways and a Coke. She’s painting my house. ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/164 "2003-09-04T16:53:17Z")
Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat that ate your new shoes? ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/165 "2003-09-04T17:22:53Z")
“Dammit, Rudolph–I said, ‘the _Schmidt_ house’!” No, wait–that was a Christmas card ---
**Author:** ![Theobroma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5a626/32.png) [@Theobroma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Theobroma)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/166 "2003-09-04T17:23:41Z")
“Where the hell’s my cookie?!!” WHAM!!! ---
**Author:** ![criminalcatalog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@criminalcatalog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/criminalcatalog)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/167 "2003-09-04T18:18:15Z")
“Size 13.” ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/168 "2003-09-04T20:27:56Z")
“Anybody that can eat that much ice cream, I’m not messing with him.” ---
**Author:** ![NoCoolUserName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5fc32e/32.png) [@NoCoolUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoCoolUserName)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/169 "2003-09-04T21:57:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Malacandra \* > \*\*Depends. In the version I heard, the hippo-squaw had twins, a boy and a girl, and the punch-line is a much better homophone for Pythagoras’s Theorem. Unless and until it’s possible to have the sum of the square on the hypotenuse, that is. Perhaps you know your trig better than I do :dubious: \*\* I don’t claim any special trig knowledge, that’s just the way my dad used to tell it. Back to the thread: “Senior, the Seniorita, she is gone.” (Don’t know how to make a tilde) ---
**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/170 "2003-09-04T22:26:04Z")
“Putting her back in the wheelchair!” “The picture of Jesus doesn’t scream when you nail it to the wall!” “Throw them a basketball.” ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/171 "2003-09-04T23:03:20Z")
You don’t have a pool? Is this 03340892? ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/172 "2003-09-05T03:09:40Z")
My wife caught me in bed with her. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/173 "2003-09-06T17:52:59Z")
But his secret desire Was a boy in the choir With a bottom like jelly on springs. ---
**Author:** ![klockwerk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/klockwerk/32/6475_2.png) [@klockwerk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/klockwerk)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/174 "2003-09-06T19:41:10Z")
“Then why are we both speaking Spanish??” ---
**Author:** ![Heller\_Highwater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/278dde/32.png) [@Heller\_Highwater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heller_Highwater)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957/175 "2003-09-06T21:31:04Z")
…because he was nailed to the chicken. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-consists-solely-of-punch-lines-to-jokes/198957.md?page=8)