# This thread contains spoilers DO NOT READ THIS THREAD **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 2, 2005, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-contains-spoilers-do-not-read-this-thread/329122 "2005-11-02T18:38:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-contains-spoilers-do-not-read-this-thread/329122/41 "2005-11-04T07:14:03Z")
In **Night of the living dead** Ben gets a bullet in the head In **So I married an Axe Murderer** He really married the sister of an axe murderer In **Office Space** Milton burns the place to the ground. In **Almost Legal 34** Gina gets a money shot on her tits and says “yummy” In **Helter Skelter** The wild-eyed short dude goes to jail. In **Gigli** I could really say anything happened because no one ever saw this film. ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-contains-spoilers-do-not-read-this-thread/329122/42 "2005-11-04T11:28:49Z")
In Casablanca She gets on the plane. Even though Bogie is better. In Sabrina Bogie gets the girl (because he’s better) and they go to France. In Sunset Boulevard She’s ready for her close-up. In Arsenic and Old Lace We find out the cab driver is really a coffee pot. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-contains-spoilers-do-not-read-this-thread/329122/43 "2005-11-04T11:49:40Z")
The Holy Grail [spoiler] King Arthur gets arrested by the British Police.[spoiler] which was brought to you by Ralph The Wonder Llama. The Usual Suspects: Verbal is Keyzer Sosa. Armageddon: The asteroid does not hit the earth. Bruce Willis dies. Ocean’s 11 They escape with a bajillion dollars of Terry Benedict’s money. George Clooney gets the girl. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-contains-spoilers-do-not-read-this-thread/329122/44 "2005-11-04T13:01:12Z")
**Marlitharn** , your ARSENIC AND OLD LACE spoiler wins the prize for best ever, I 'bout fell off my chair laughing. ---
**Author:** ![dotchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@dotchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dotchan)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-contains-spoilers-do-not-read-this-thread/329122/45 "2005-11-04T14:05:10Z")
_Terminator_ trilogy: The future is history. _Matrix_ trilogy: It’s all one big mindf\*\*\*. _Lord of the Rings_ trilogy: Aragorn finally becomes king, but Legolas is still the prettiest. _Star Wars_ prequel-trilogy: George Lucas buggers precious nostalgic childhood memories, causing lifetimes worth of fanboy trauma. The general public yawns and keeps staring at the shiny CG. ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-contains-spoilers-do-not-read-this-thread/329122/46 "2005-11-04T14:33:17Z")
In _Casablanca_ Bogart’s character never really says, “Play it again Sam” ---
**Author:** ![andrewdt85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/71e660/32.png) [@andrewdt85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andrewdt85)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-contains-spoilers-do-not-read-this-thread/329122/47 "2005-11-04T20:53:48Z")
The universe is gonna collapse into itself to the size of a pinhead. The sun’s gonna burn out. The cockroaches outlive us. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-contains-spoilers-do-not-read-this-thread/329122/48 "2005-11-04T21:26:58Z")
> [@MacTech](#): > > at the end of **Planet Of the Apes** (original) we learn that > > the PoTA is _really_ Earth, hundreds/thousands of years after a nuclear war :eek: YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP!! DAMN YOU!!! **GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!** ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-contains-spoilers-do-not-read-this-thread/329122/49 "2005-11-04T21:42:25Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > You forgot in Serenity > > we find out the Reavers were once Human I thought that implied in the series. Hell, it was stated in the series. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-contains-spoilers-do-not-read-this-thread/329122/50 "2005-11-04T22:13:49Z")
In Full Metal Jacket, The Drill Sergent yells a lot. He’ll also be the only guy in the everyone remembers. In Touch of Evil The kid was guilty but Orson Well’s character was still a racist asshole. In The Godfather Movies Al Pacino kills everyone. In Alexander He’s Gay. His Mother really LOVES him. There, I saved you 3 hours of your life In The Seventh Sign, They all dance at the end In Metropolis, We find out that revolt of the workers and coporate oppression are both bad. We also learn that stupid, feel-good platitudes can make all the difference. In The English Patient, He dies at the end. It takes three long, tedius hours, but he eventually dies. In Fight Club You don’t talk about fight club. Also in Fight Club Brad Pitt really looks like Ed Norton. No doubt Jennifer Aniston was suprised. In My Dinner with Andre They eat dinner. And talk. In Demolition Man Taco Bell serves bad food in small quantites, and there’s no meat in any of it. In The Matrix Neo is really Bill S. Preston, Esq. WILD STALLION! In Saving Private Ryan People die on Omaha Beach. Bloodily. In Star Wars Luke Blows up the Death Star. In Night of the Living Dead Brains. In A Streetcar Named Desire Vivian Leigh overacts Horribly, except when she’s doesn’t. Also in A Streetcar Named Desire Stanely knows a lot about Napoleonic Code, apparently In Gone with the Wind The North Wins the Civil War In Duck Soup The President starts a war on false pretenses. Because it’s Groucho, it’s funny. In Passion of the Christ Mel Gibson totures Jesus for three hours. In Phone Booth Jack Bauer tortures Colin Ferrel for two hours. Events occur in real time. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-contains-spoilers-do-not-read-this-thread/329122/51 "2005-11-04T22:20:48Z")
> [@UncleRojelio](#): > > In _War of the Worlds_ > > Dakota Fanning screams … a lot. You don’t know the history of Tripods. Tom Cruise does! ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-contains-spoilers-do-not-read-this-thread/329122/52 "2005-11-04T22:23:16Z")
> [@UncleRojelio](#): > > In _Alien_ > > The cat survives. In Aliens “Game over, man! Game over!” ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-contains-spoilers-do-not-read-this-thread/329122/53 "2005-11-04T22:31:59Z")
> [@UncleRojelio](#): > > In _Alien_ > > The cat survives. In Aliens “Game over, man! Game over!” ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2005, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-contains-spoilers-do-not-read-this-thread/329122/54 "2005-11-05T00:25:16Z")
> [@C K Dexter Haven](#): > > **Marlitharn** , your ARSENIC AND OLD LACE spoiler wins the prize for best ever, I 'bout fell off my chair laughing. 😃 Do I get a prize for knocking an admin out of his chair? ---
**Author:** ![RobuSensei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/919ad9/32.png) [@RobuSensei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobuSensei)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2005, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-contains-spoilers-do-not-read-this-thread/329122/55 "2005-11-05T04:21:31Z")
In “Rocky VI,” Sylvester Stallone will box. . . . . . . . . . . . . (this space intentionally left blank) 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-thread-contains-spoilers-do-not-read-this-thread/329122.md?page=2)