# This town is too small- an OKCupid story **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 30, 2011, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-town-is-too-small-an-okcupid-story/598108 "2011-09-30T03:49:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-town-is-too-small-an-okcupid-story/598108/1 "2011-09-30T03:49:08Z")
So, the other night I was at an event with an out-of-town friend, and she ran into a guy she used to know named “Ramon.” Ramon and I hit it off on the dance floor, and he was hitting on me pretty hard. I’m super-single right now, and I figured it’d be nice to have a good looking guy’s number on my phone. Meanwhile, I’ve been working OKCupid pretty hard. I figure dating is a numbers game, and I’m actually having a lot of fun meeting different people and going out on the town. I can be a bit on the shallow side, so I did a search within my area and messaged a bunch of good looking guys. I’ve been going back and forth with quite a few of them, including a really good looking guy who’s been responding with some sass. We had a good little banter going, and eventually planned to meet up Meanwhile, I’m text-flirting with Ramon, just for the hell of it. Then things start getting weird. Ramon references my email address, which I figured my friend must have told him. And this OKCupid guy, he’s just making these strange references like “What’d you do the other day- get down with your girlfriends?” and stuff that doesn’t quite add up. But I figured he’s just a slickster saying whatever and don’t worry about it. I don’t mind meeting a smooth guy now and then. And then, I put two and two together. Ramon is OKCupid guy. :smack: I’m pretty much face-blind, and I would have never figured it out from the photos (not to mention when I met Ramon it was in a dark bar after a long night out.) He thinks I went out and found him on OKCupid! And he must think I am super-agressive, texting and emailing at twice the frequency I’d normally do. Furthermore, he must think I’m slightly brain damaged because our conversations don’t have any real continuity. I’ve been having two conversations while he’s been having one! Well, I think I’ve got a date tomorrow night, heh. Although I’m slightly disappointed, because I thought i had two hotties on hold. This town is way, way too small for me. ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-town-is-too-small-an-okcupid-story/598108/2 "2011-09-30T04:06:55Z")
No doubt about it, you are quite a catch… ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-town-is-too-small-an-okcupid-story/598108/3 "2011-09-30T04:14:44Z")
Not really where I was going with that- I was pretty surprised to be getting so much attention (and these “guys” were obviously players…landing a player isn’t much to brag about.) But of course, it turns out I wasn’t getting half the attention I thought i was! And here I thought I was breaking hearts. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-town-is-too-small-an-okcupid-story/598108/4 "2011-09-30T04:16:17Z")
Obligatory on-topic comment: Yes, that is quite a coincidence! OK, but actually what I wanted to say was that this made me think of that one scene from Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion. You know the one: “Oh, Ramon! Your penis is so powerful! I’m coming! Okay, thanks, get off me now.” ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-town-is-too-small-an-okcupid-story/598108/5 "2011-09-30T06:15:34Z")
Just pass him a note in math class and spare us… Joe ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-town-is-too-small-an-okcupid-story/598108/6 "2011-09-30T09:25:32Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > And here I thought I was breaking hearts. For what it’s worth, I’m devastated. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-town-is-too-small-an-okcupid-story/598108/7 "2011-09-30T12:21:31Z")
Heh. It does sound pretty middle school. This decision to sort by looks came after some disastrous results with the old “go on one get-to-know-you date with anyone interested.” I honestly had a lot of fun meeting all kinds of people, but a date with a guy who wore honest-to-god joke suspenders, bow tie and pocket protector left a bad taste in my mouth when he went on a whiny, aggressive, self pitying nice guy tantrum after I told him we probably were not romantically compatible (Dutch date, there had been no touching.) Fuck that. I’m not in this to manage the emotional problems of strangers. So now I’m thinking there should be some minimal attraction from the get go to avoid wasting everyone’s time. Keeping my options open just seems smart. I think too many women go on one date with a cool guy, and put everything on hold for him. Then you get all anxious and needy, he gets uncomfortable, and it all goes wrong. Rather than sitting in my room waiting for " the text back," I think it’s smarter to keep those texts coming from all over and not over invest in one guy too early. when things get serious, then drop the others. ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-town-is-too-small-an-okcupid-story/598108/8 "2011-09-30T12:23:06Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > For what it’s worth, I’m devastated. But, are you SUPER-devastated? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-town-is-too-small-an-okcupid-story/598108/9 "2011-09-30T12:33:50Z")
Does he like Pina Coladas? ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-town-is-too-small-an-okcupid-story/598108/10 "2011-09-30T12:55:00Z")
Is his first name Razor? ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-town-is-too-small-an-okcupid-story/598108/11 "2011-09-30T12:58:54Z")
Try online dating in a college town of 25,000 residents. True story. - Moved here, met “A” on Match, dated for a month, remained friends afterwards. A’s previous boyfriend, who I’ll call “S”, broke up with A and began dating another woman named A. I"ll call her “A2”. - A gets a new boyfriend, and she drifts away from me as a friend. - Meanwhile, another woman named “A” contacts me on OkCupid. We meet. Turns out to be A2. - A2 and I go out a couple of times. It’s not clicking for her; she’s a zero body fat ultra-triathloner type, while I’m just weight-height proportionate average, and just started Couch-to-5K. Physically, A2 was far outside of my league. However, A2 offers to fix me up with one of her friends. - The friend she offered to fix me up with? A woman named “C”, who I met through Match before I met A. When I first met C earlier that year, I went away from the date feeling like she would have rather had recreational dental surgery than be with me. I declined. Meanwhile, on my lunch break walk downtown, about half the time I’ll see someone whose profile I’ve seen on Match or OkCupid. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-town-is-too-small-an-okcupid-story/598108/12 "2011-09-30T18:21:06Z")
> [@Turek](#): > > But, are you SUPER-devastated? 😃 Nah, just run-of-the-mill crushed. A couple shots of bourbon should probably take care of it. If only I drank. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-town-is-too-small-an-okcupid-story/598108/13 "2011-09-30T19:03:16Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > Is his first name Razor? Hee hee. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-town-is-too-small-an-okcupid-story/598108/14 "2011-09-30T19:18:49Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > “A” > “S” > “A2”. > “C” For Christ’s sake, just use fictitious names. Andrea Sally Alice Cathy how hard was that? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-town-is-too-small-an-okcupid-story/598108/15 "2011-09-30T20:04:47Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > This decision to sort by looks came after some disastrous results with the old “go on one get-to-know-you date with anyone interested.” They have a “sort by looks” button? Or does it choose for you, like Facebook? ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-town-is-too-small-an-okcupid-story/598108/16 "2011-09-30T20:34:33Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > out on the town. Who even says that any more? How old are you? ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-town-is-too-small-an-okcupid-story/598108/17 "2011-09-30T20:52:47Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > Try online dating in a college town of 25,000 residents. > > True story. > > - Moved here, met “A” on Match, dated for a month, remained friends afterwards. A’s previous boyfriend, who I’ll call “S”, broke up with A and began dating another woman named A. I"ll call her “A2”. > - A gets a new boyfriend, and she drifts away from me as a friend. > - Meanwhile, another woman named “A” contacts me on OkCupid. We meet. Turns out to be A2. > - A2 and I go out a couple of times. It’s not clicking for her; she’s a zero body fat ultra-triathloner type, while I’m just weight-height proportionate average, and just started Couch-to-5K. Physically, A2 was far outside of my league. However, A2 offers to fix me up with one of her friends. > - The friend she offered to fix me up with? A woman named “C”, who I met through Match before I met A. When I first met C earlier that year, I went away from the date feeling like she would have rather had recreational dental surgery than be with me. I declined. > > Meanwhile, on my lunch break walk downtown, about half the time I’ll see someone whose profile I’ve seen on Match or OkCupid. That sounds like it has a high potential for awkwardness. I guess I should count my blessings. I ran into Mr. Passive-agressive on the train the other day. Thank god I’m face-blind, or I’d probably be seeing more awkwardly failed dates all over. I thought online dating was supposed to be less awkward than doing it the old fashioned way. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-town-is-too-small-an-okcupid-story/598108/18 "2011-09-30T21:00:13Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > “A” > “S” > “A2”. > “C” > [@neuroman](#): > > For Christ’s sake, just use fictitious names. > > Andrea > Sally > Alice > Cathy > > how hard was that? 🙂 Did you ever consider that people in his town might have single-letter names? Ethnocentrist. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-town-is-too-small-an-okcupid-story/598108/19 "2011-09-30T21:09:16Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > I thought online dating was supposed to be less awkward than doing it the old fashioned way. No, it’s just easier to meet a bunch of people without actually having to dress up and smell nice. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-town-is-too-small-an-okcupid-story/598108/20 "2011-09-30T21:16:32Z")
> [@neuroman](#): > > For Christ’s sake, just use fictitious names. > > Andrea > Sally > Alice > Cathy > > how hard was that? 🙂 Apparenty harder than you think. Your list should be Andrea Sally Andrea Cathy unless 'began dating another woman named A" means something other than what I think it does. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-town-is-too-small-an-okcupid-story/598108.md?page=2)