# This turkey was killed by hand with a sharp knife **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 12, 2012, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252 "2012-01-12T03:51:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![ruh-roh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ruh-roh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruh-roh)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/181 "2012-01-18T16:31:49Z")
This turkey may, or may not, be dead. It depends on when you look in the bag. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/182 "2012-01-18T16:38:10Z")
> [@ruh-roh](#): > > This turkey may, or may not, be dead. It depends on when you look in the bag. Or the box! Just yesterday the “Rock in the Box, I burning your dog” thread reared its wonderful head. Maybe this turkey is in need of a little flame-proofing! ---
**Author:** ![PetroDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/278dde/32.png) [@PetroDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PetroDude)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/183 "2012-01-18T18:10:10Z")
This turkey refused the offer. This turkey has only suffered a flesh wound. Thighs and Wings not included. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/184 "2012-01-18T18:16:17Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > Or the box! Just yesterday the “Rock in the Box, I burning your dog” thread reared its wonderful head. Maybe this turkey is in need of a little flame-proofing! This turkey didn’t know the people who were given the box. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/185 "2012-01-18T18:43:32Z")
This was Luthien, the turkey maiden who gave her love to Beren, a mortal. This turkey was found dead in Ft. Marcy Park in Washington, DC of a self-inflicted gunshot wound on July 21. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/186 "2012-01-18T18:46:34Z")
This turkey was shot by its mother when it was trapped in a burning car wreck, stuck to Hitler with acid glue. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/187 "2012-01-18T19:07:12Z")
This turkey was found flash-frozen with a deep wound to the hand and numerous abrasions and bruises, indicating that he was involved in hand-to-hand combat shortly before his death. A craniocerebral trauma with major bleeding in the back of the brain along with a skull fracture, indicates a fall or attack, and was initially thought to be the cause of death. However, X-rays showed foreign body lodged in the left shoulder - a flint arrowhead. Penetrating the body, the arrowhead created a 2-cm-wide hole in the left wing and ended up just a few centimetres from the lung. Vital organs were not hit, but the arrow severed a major blood vessel and damaged the neurovascular fascicles of the left wing, which must have caused heavy bleeding and possibly paralysis of the wing. This turkey probably bled to death within a matter of minutes. Paraphrased from: [http://www.iceman.it/en/node/265](http://www.iceman.it/en/node/265) ---
**Author:** ![mikemo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/41988e/32.png) [@mikemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mikemo)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/188 "2012-01-18T20:04:36Z")
This turkey is not dead yet. He’s getting better. He feeeeels happyyyy… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/189 "2012-01-18T20:11:51Z")
This turkey’s heart was wounded with a monotonous languor… but then it got hit by a truck. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/190 "2012-01-19T02:34:05Z")
This turkey grabbed Danny Vermin. Once. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/191 "2012-01-19T03:18:19Z")
This turkey taunted Happy Fun Ball. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/192 "2012-01-19T03:30:49Z")
This turkey is dead because it left its heart in San Francisco. ---
**Author:** ![alindallas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f17d59/32.png) [@alindallas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alindallas)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/193 "2012-01-19T03:40:23Z")
DOWN by the river I shot my turkey. ---
**Author:** ![RedWood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f08c70/32.png) [@RedWood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedWood)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/194 "2012-01-19T04:07:13Z")
I shot the Turkey! But I did not shoot the Cornish hen… ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/195 "2012-01-19T05:13:09Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > This turkey is dead because it left its heart in San Francisco. And its liver in Kansas City. No giblets included. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/196 "2012-01-19T05:19:38Z")
This turkey chose the tiger. This turkey was an extra in The Wild Bunch. This turkey went against the family. This turkey dated Little Joe. This turkey sleeps with the fishes. This turkey was killed by a Predator drone. It wasn’t a terrorist or anything. We were just screwing around. This turkey went on a Mediterranean cruise. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/197 "2012-01-19T12:57:45Z")
It was the 3rd of September A day I’ll always remember The day my tur-key died ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/198 "2012-01-19T16:22:39Z")
This turkey tried to hijack a plane with Mark Wahlberg on board. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/199 "2012-01-19T16:29:08Z")
This turkey was crushed by Mark Wahlberg’s testicles. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/200 "2012-01-19T17:27:27Z")
This turkey was running with scissors. This turkey died from not eating all his vegetables. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252.md?page=11)