# This turkey was killed by hand with a sharp knife **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 12, 2012, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252 "2012-01-12T03:51:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2012, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/321 "2012-04-23T16:50:00Z")
We thought this turkey was dead, but somebody revived it, so we had to kill it again. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2012, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/322 "2012-04-23T16:53:50Z")
It’s a zombkey. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2014, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/323 "2014-11-24T18:33:12Z")
This turkey is here to stay it will never die, It was meant to be that way though I don’t know why, I don’t care what people say his turkey is here to stay ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2014, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/324 "2014-11-24T18:50:07Z")
When there is no more room in hell, this turkey will walk the earth. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2014, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/325 "2014-11-24T19:35:19Z")
George Zimmerman caught this turkey eating skittles. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2014, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/326 "2014-11-24T20:02:48Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > When there is no more room in hell, this turkey will walk the earth. A talented person should modify [this poster](http://images3.alphacoders.com/365/3659.jpg) When the dead turkeys walk, señor, we must stop the killing – or lose the war. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2014, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/327 "2014-11-24T20:26:38Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > This turkey called Kevin Kline stupid. 🙂 This turkey called Will Smith an asshole. This turkey was crushed by Conan and seen driven before him. This turkey flashed his high-beams at another car and was killed as part of a gang initiation rite. This turkey washed a bunch of Pop Rocks down with some Coke. This turkey overheard [the funniest joke in the world.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Funniest_Joke_in_the_World) ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2014, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/328 "2014-11-25T20:40:45Z")
This turkey was found in Leakin Park after last being seen at approximately 3 p.m. on January 13, 1999, at Woodlawn High School in Baltimore County, Md. Police believe it was killed in the Best Buy parking lot at 2:36 p.m. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2014, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/329 "2014-11-25T20:57:25Z")
This turkey crossed the streams. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2014, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/330 "2014-11-25T21:33:30Z")
This turkey took a selfie just as [Thinman](http://www.thewinchesterfamilybusiness.com/images/SeasonNine/Thinman/SPN_0024.jpg) walked by. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2014, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/331 "2014-11-25T21:39:25Z")
Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave this turkey forty whacks. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2014, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/332 "2014-11-25T21:42:54Z")
This turkey loved Big Brother. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2014, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/333 "2014-11-25T22:28:09Z")
This turkey played “Don’t Stop Believin’” on the jukebox at the diner, looked up just as the door to the diner opened, an ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2014, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/334 "2014-11-25T23:52:43Z")
Punk Rock killed this turkey! Somewhere in the darkness, the turkey he broke even. The turkey didn’t let the wookiee win. The turkey was released. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2014, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/335 "2014-11-26T00:29:15Z")
This is the story 'bout Eddy Kushi Katchi Kama Tosa Nira Tosa Noka Sama Kama Turkey Brown. _Who?_ Eddy Kushi Katchi Kama Tosa Nira Tosa Noka Sama Kama Turkey Brown. Fell into the well, fell into the well, Fell into the deep dark well. \< . . . snip . . . \> To the well, Everybody came. What a shame! Took so long to say his name that Eddy Kushi Katchi Kama Tosa Nira Tosa Noka Sama Kama Turkey Brown, Eddy Kushi Katchi Kama Tosa Nira Tosa Noka Sama Kama Turkey Brown, drowned. ---
**Author:** ![typoink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@typoink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/typoink)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2014, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/336 "2014-11-26T18:42:37Z")
Contrary to appearances, this turkey is still alive. No turkeys were harmed in the killing of this turkey. Except the one. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2014, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/337 "2014-11-26T20:48:07Z")
This turkey was sent to Belize. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2014, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/338 "2014-11-27T00:42:09Z")
This turkey took the wrong pill. This turkey texted while driving. This turkey was ambushed. ---
**Author:** ![CannyDan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cannydan/32/548_2.png) [@CannyDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CannyDan)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2014, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/339 "2014-11-27T01:09:14Z")
This turkey had roast beef. This turkey had none. This turkey cried "_wee, wee, wee…_ " all the way to the abattoir. ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2014, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/340 "2014-11-27T01:18:55Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > This turkey was killed humanely by an overdose of reds. Fat Freddie? Is that you? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252.md?page=16) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252.md?page=18)