# This turkey was killed by hand with a sharp knife **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 12, 2012, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252 "2012-01-12T03:51:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/341 "2014-12-01T16:06:34Z")
Crap! This is the first year I didn’t have this turkey on my Celebrity Death Pool List. Of course the stupid thing died. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2014, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/342 "2014-12-01T16:12:41Z")
And when will people learn that cracking open a turkey egg is the same as killing a whole turkey. Just because you wanted a turkey egg omelet for Thanksgiving breakfast does not give you the right to deprive a whole turkey family of another member. That turkey might have grown up to save someone from harm. Or make a good pet. Or befriend a lonely animal. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2015, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/343 "2015-10-18T22:38:40Z")
This turkey is a leaf on the wind. This turkey is, and ever shall be, your friend. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2015, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/344 "2015-10-18T23:03:45Z")
Are we not all, in the end, this turkey? ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2015, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/345 "2015-10-18T23:45:35Z")
What if this turkey was one of us Just a slob like one of us Just a stranger on the bus ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/346 "2015-10-19T00:01:22Z")
I saw the best turkeys of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked, dragging themselves through the streets at dawn looking for an angry fix, angelheaded turkeys burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night. ---
**Author:** ![Nema98](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d2c977/32.png) [@Nema98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nema98)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/347 "2015-10-19T00:08:45Z")
How disturbing. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/348 "2015-10-19T00:22:03Z")
This turkey sacrificed himself to protect Goblox. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/349 "2015-10-19T02:24:40Z")
This turkey came back! And was promptly run over by an eastbound Greyhound. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/350 "2015-10-19T03:34:03Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > This turkey choked on someone else’s vomit. But they were never able to determine whose vomit it was. Scotland Yard doesn’t have the facilities - you really can’t dust for vomit. (Yeah, I know this is a zombie thread. I’m responding anyway.) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/351 "2015-10-19T05:05:34Z")
This turkey was pardoned by the President. But it was subsequently convicted and executed on state charges. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Me](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mr.Me](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Me)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/352 "2015-10-19T12:43:56Z")
This turkey was thrown off of Pride Rock into a pack of enraged hyenas by his nephew, whom he had betrayed. Pre-tenderized, expect some scarring. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/353 "2015-10-19T13:20:23Z")
This turkey was beheaded by extremists. The video is now available on their website, [www.Butterball.ISIL.com](http://www.Butterball.ISIL.com). ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/354 "2015-10-19T13:45:46Z")
This turkey was found in a Las Vegas brothel dead from herbal Viagra. Or something. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/355 "2015-10-19T14:08:38Z")
This turkey tried to break up a knife fight in queens. And then walked into [McDonald’s.](http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2014/06/24/stabbing-victim-walks-into-queens-mcdonalds-with-knife-in-his-back/) Turkey McNuggets, anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/356 "2015-10-19T14:44:04Z")
It is a far, far better thing that this turkey did, than it had ever done; it is a far, far better rest that it goes to, than it has ever known. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/357 "2015-10-19T16:32:06Z")
This turkey was a sitcom character who died. How soon before the turkey comes back to life, being played by the same turkey (I flew from the car, but had amnesia), another turkey (ditto), or come back as his twin brother, unknown son, or random stranger who just looks like the turkey. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/358 "2015-10-19T16:32:36Z")
This turkey was shot to death at a Zombie-themed Convention in Florida. ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/359 "2015-10-19T16:44:25Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > This turkey tried to break up a knife fight in queens. And then walked into [McDonald’s.](http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2014/06/24/stabbing-victim-walks-into-queens-mcdonalds-with-knife-in-his-back/) > […] Heh. _This_ turkey got _into_ a knife fight. In Panama. With sapo. And then was kindly flamed 'til done. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/360 "2015-10-19T16:50:17Z")
This turkey was shot by a bird in Reno who wanted to watch him die. This turkey had the poor fortune of living in a George R. R. Martin fantasy novel. She was served roasted and sliced, covered in stewed leeks and gravy, with crispy sweet skin. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252.md?page=19)