# This turkey was killed by hand with a sharp knife **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 12, 2012, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252 "2012-01-12T03:51:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 19
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/361 "2015-10-19T16:51:45Z")
This turkey took Viagra, and ignored the warning about four hour erections. Now we can’t close the casket. ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/362 "2015-10-19T16:57:02Z")
This turkey had the fish. On an _Airplane!_ Over Lockerbie. With some _Snakes_. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/363 "2015-10-19T17:20:33Z")
This turkey died of a beakbleed after using its psychic powers to prevent a ruthless dictator from taking over the country. > [@Scumpup](#): > > It is a far, far better thing that this turkey did, than it had ever done; it is a far, far better **rest** that it goes to, than it has ever known. Don’t you mean “repast”? ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/364 "2015-10-19T17:36:01Z")
This turkey was overtaken. In a pit. By Global Warming. And froze to death. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/365 "2015-10-19T18:01:47Z")
This turkey chose… poorly. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/366 "2015-10-19T18:13:02Z")
This turkey’s watch has ended. This turkey didn’t know Khaleesi spoke Valyrian. This turkey went for the cornucopia. This turkey ate some berries it stole from Peeta. Reserved for Seneca Crane. This turkey was stung to death by tracker jackers. May have hallucinogenic effects.\* This turkey was a preacher, ridin’ on a midnight bus bound for Mexico. \*Wow, the level of material for this thread in “The Hunger Games” is really quite telling. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/367 "2015-10-19T18:42:40Z")
This little turkey went to market… where they sold roasted turkeys. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/368 "2015-10-19T19:51:57Z")
This turkey was introduced to Ceti Alpha 6’s last remaining (indigenous) life form… ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/369 "2015-10-19T20:10:23Z")
This turkey has joined the choir invisible. ---
**Author:** ![stillownedbysetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/370 "2015-10-19T20:22:54Z")
This turkey was born a quail, but after years of doping in hopes of winning the Tour de France, he succumbed to 'roid rage. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/371 "2015-10-19T21:39:15Z")
This turkey couldn’t handle the truth! ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/372 "2015-10-19T22:37:10Z")
This turkey died of ennui, staring out a window for the 26th consecutive day ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/373 "2015-10-19T23:48:25Z")
This turkey died in a church and was buried along with its name. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/374 "2015-10-20T00:35:07Z")
This turkey was unfortunate enough to displease Jabba. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/375 "2015-10-20T14:21:04Z")
This turkey was on the Titanic. The turkey was on the Lusitania. This turkey was on the Andria Dora. This turkey was on the Edmund Fitzgerald. ---
**Author:** ![wickky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@wickky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wickky)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/376 "2015-10-20T14:28:02Z")
This turkey was shot by a man in Reno just to watch him die. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Me](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mr.Me](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Me)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/377 "2015-10-20T15:00:21Z")
Yes sir, Officer Obie, I cannot tell a lie. I put that turkey under that garbage… ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/378 "2015-10-20T15:03:14Z")
This turkey was last heard uttering “Gobbler! They’re coming to get you, Gobbler!” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/379 "2015-10-20T15:10:20Z")
Turkey Time! Turkey Time! We killed this turkey and will make some brine. Turkey Time! Turkey Time! Let’s have some turkey with some bread and wine\* \*sung to the tune of Jesus Christ Superstar! ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/380 "2015-10-20T15:35:09Z")
This turkey was hit by a driverless, solid-gold milk truck, wandering the streets of Waterbury, Conn. Isn’t Western engineering marvelous? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252.md?page=18) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252.md?page=20)