# This turkey was killed by hand with a sharp knife **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 12, 2012, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252 "2012-01-12T03:51:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/21 "2012-01-12T08:51:26Z")
This turkey was killed humanely by an overdose of reds. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/22 "2012-01-12T09:26:05Z")
This turkey knew too much. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/23 "2012-01-12T13:07:35Z")
This turkey was killed trying to cross the road. We have no idea why. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/24 "2012-01-12T13:10:12Z")
It looks to me as if this turkey was killed somewhere else, then _moved_ here to make it look like an accident. This turkey committed suicide by wrapping his internal organs in a bag and swallowing them. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/25 "2012-01-12T13:17:11Z")
This turkey died for the glory of the Fatherland. This turkey died, but that is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die. _Ia! Ia! Ph’nglui Mglw’nafh Turkeythulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!_ ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/26 "2012-01-12T13:41:22Z")
This turkey suffered, died and was buried. On the third day it rose again in accordance with ths scriptures. It sitteth on the right hand of Gobble the father, whence it cometh again to judge the tacos and the leftovers. ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/27 "2012-01-12T13:46:46Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > This turkey died a lonely, broken old bird who sat out the remainder of his life filled with regret. I bet that turkey tasted _awful_. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/28 "2012-01-12T14:01:56Z")
This turkey was killed by eating mentos and drinking pepsi. This turkey refused to renew in the fiery ritual of carousel. This green globule is a turkey that spontaneously combusted at a jazz/rock festival. This turkey was drowned in a flood from a burst molasses tank. This turkey caught a virus and it died last spring. This turkey was force choked after failing Vader for the last time. This turkey was shot just to watch it die. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/29 "2012-01-12T14:03:24Z")
This turkey went to a party at the St. Francis with Fatty Arbuckle. This turkey’s car hit the back of a truck outside New Orleans. This turkey was found in bed with a telephone in one claw. This turkey fell off a yacht while trying to unlatch the dinghy. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/30 "2012-01-12T14:07:23Z")
This turkey died suddenly, but luckily, he was a registered donor, so his death will not be in vain. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/31 "2012-01-12T14:10:01Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > This turkey went to a party at the St. Francis with Fatty Arbuckle. You won’t have any trouble fitting the stuffing in, then. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/32 "2012-01-12T14:49:11Z")
This turkey choked to death on a ham sandwich. ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/33 "2012-01-12T15:01:53Z")
This turkey criticised the Dear Leader, and was apprehended by agents of the Department of Revolutionary Solidarity. Under their gentle tutelage, the repentant turkey begged for another chance to serve the collective. The Dear Leader was merciful and granted this request - long live the Dear Leader! This turkey failed to secure her own oxygen mask before aiding others. This turkey took a wrong turn into a bad part of town. This turkey took full responsibility for not preventing the treacherous slaying of its lord. This turkey burned up on re-entry. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/34 "2012-01-12T15:09:07Z")
This turkey was an organ donor so don’t be expecting any gibblets. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/35 "2012-01-12T15:13:01Z")
This turkey was killed by hand with a blunt knife. ETA: it took forever. Please excuse the mess. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/36 "2012-01-12T15:15:13Z")
This turkey died of a heart attack while sitting on the toilet. ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/37 "2012-01-12T15:15:22Z")
This turkey was killed by foot with a sharp knife. Quite a lot of money changed hands afterwards, but I still maintain it was a fluke. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Il_Palazzo)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/38 "2012-01-12T15:21:12Z")
This turkey was shot in Reno, by a man who just wanted to watch it die. This turkey died peacefully in its sleep. The same can’t be said of the turkey in the other car. This turkey was a chemist’s. This turkey is no more, For what it thought was H20 Was H2SO4. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/39 "2012-01-12T15:22:20Z")
It is rumored that this Turkey was killed by the CIA after it threatened to go public about its long term relationship with both RFK and JFK. Watch the History Channel tonight at 8 while we explore this topic. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/40 "2012-01-12T15:22:49Z")
This turkey played with a Ouija board. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252.md?page=3)