# This turkey was killed by hand with a sharp knife **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 12, 2012, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252 "2012-01-12T03:51:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 20
**Author:** ![The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_stainless_steel_rat/32/5727_2.png) [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stainless_Steel_Rat)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/381 "2015-10-20T16:42:40Z")
This turkey was stranded on Mars, but was unable to Science the Shit out of it, because, after all, he’s a turkey… ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/382 "2015-10-20T16:45:09Z")
Spider Turkey! Spider Turkey! Does whatever a spider Turkey does! Can he swing from a web? No he can’t He’s a Turkey ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/383 "2015-10-20T17:26:17Z")
The force was weak in this turkey… ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/384 "2015-10-20T17:27:21Z")
This turkey imitated Jar Jar Binks one too many times. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/385 "2015-10-20T19:00:50Z")
This turkey wouldn’t stop trying to help Tuco. This turkey was [hit by a flying lawnmower](http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/lawnmower.asp). Serve with mustard. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/386 "2015-10-20T20:04:05Z")
This turkey fell into a chasm full of lava while crying, “O my Precious! _gobble_” (Note: May be overcooked.) ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/387 "2015-10-20T20:10:13Z")
> [@Balance](#): > > This turkey fell into a chasm full of lava while crying, “O my Precious! _gobble_” (Note: May be overcooked.) Prize inside!\* \*Warning: Choking Hazard, not for children under the age of three. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/388 "2015-10-20T20:10:31Z")
That damn turkey ate my finger just before that, completely deserved to die horribly if you ask me. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/389 "2015-10-21T00:52:55Z")
> [@Balance](#): > > This turkey fell into a chasm full of lava while crying, “O my Precious! _gobble_” (Note: May be overcooked.) > [@TruCelt](#): > > Prize inside!\* > > \*Warning: Choking Hazard, not for children under the age of three. > [@Frodo](#): > > That damn turkey ate my finger just before that, completely deserved to die horribly if you ask me. This turkey died from shock at the perfect username/post combo. ---
**Author:** ![bunyupp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@bunyupp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bunyupp)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/390 "2015-10-21T14:50:28Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > What did you use for stuffing? “Oh, I didn’t have to stuff it. It wasn’t empty.” ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/391 "2015-10-21T14:56:31Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Crap! This is the first year I didn’t have this turkey on my Celebrity Death Pool List. Of course the stupid thing died. I missed this one the last time round, and am now sitting here giggling to myself. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![stillownedbysetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/392 "2015-10-21T16:15:45Z")
This turkey knock, knock, knocked on heaven’s door. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/393 "2015-10-21T16:20:39Z")
This turkey is now a zombie. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/394 "2015-10-22T08:43:21Z")
This turkey never had a lick of sense. (pass the biscuits, please) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_stainless_steel_rat/32/5727_2.png) [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stainless_Steel_Rat)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/395 "2015-10-22T12:00:34Z")
This turkey had a failure to communicate. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/396 "2015-10-22T13:46:29Z")
> [@jimbuff314](#): > > This turkey had the fish. On an _Airplane!_ Over Lockerbie. With some _Snakes_. This turkey is dead? Surely you can’t be serious! ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/397 "2015-10-22T14:06:12Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > This turkey is dead? Surely you can’t be serious! Don’t call me Shirley. This turkey went on a massive cocaine bender at a Nevada brothel. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/398 "2015-10-22T15:01:38Z")
This Turkey attempted to service the AE-35 antenna. This Turkey was \*Pedro.\*[Pedro the Turkey - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUfksE_Qbws) ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2016, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/399 "2016-11-23T01:15:53Z")
This turkey got waterboarding, and a whole lot more. This turkey got out of the car to take a selfie with the lions. This turkey took a fall in the night; sing _[Hallelujah](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrLk4vdY28Q)_! This turkey was burned to death by his new cell phone. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2016, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/400 "2016-11-23T01:59:14Z")
This turkey found Slenderman in the background of a selfie. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252.md?page=19) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252.md?page=21)