# This turkey was killed by hand with a sharp knife **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 12, 2012, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252 "2012-01-12T03:51:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 22
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2016, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/421 "2016-11-24T08:22:24Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > This turkey was force-fed by someone who mistook it for a frog. ROFL! This turkey [slipped into a geyser while checking the temperature for a bath.](http://www.dl-online.com/news/accidents/4162459-man-disintegrated-boiling-yellowstone-hot-spring-looking-hot-soak) Par-boiled. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2016, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/422 "2016-11-24T15:43:22Z")
This turkey spoke truth to power. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2016, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/423 "2016-11-24T16:29:54Z")
_I wasn’t there that morning, when this turkey passed away… I didn’t get to tell him, all the things I had to say…_ ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2016, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/424 "2016-11-26T16:47:51Z")
This turkey was stabbed to death by O.J. Simpson. (What? Did you think O.J. would go cold turkey?) ---
**Author:** ![psychobunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@psychobunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychobunny)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2016, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/425 "2016-11-28T03:12:39Z")
This turkey peed on an electric fence. (Pre-cooked). ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2016, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/426 "2016-11-28T13:37:31Z")
This turkey was found in a West Virginia river with a cocoon stuffed in it’s throat. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2016, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/427 "2016-11-28T13:43:50Z")
This valiant turkey tasted death but once. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2016, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/428 "2016-11-28T18:12:54Z")
But, given enough air in the belly, you can taste him several times. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2016, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/429 "2016-12-01T14:23:21Z")
This turkey thought you could get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant, _including_ Alice. Never make unwanted sexual advances to a woman holding a meat cleaver. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2017, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/430 "2017-11-21T07:10:06Z")
This turkey’s [daughter is furious at reports of his death](http://money.cnn.com/2017/10/03/media/tom-petty-death-media/index.html). . . which preceded his death. . . although he was brain dead at the time . . . and the decision had been made to cease life-support . . . he nonetheless was not entirely dead . . . unless he was . . . or is now . . . which he might be. . . you ask her, I’m not going to. [This turkey succumbed to complications from severe dementia](http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/malcolm-young-acdc-guitarist-and-co-founder-dead-at-64-w512164). Mourners who wish to link a song in their memoriams are requested to use [“Back in Black”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAgnJDJN4VA) rather than [“Highway to Hell.”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l482T0yNkeo) \* :smack: . . . . . . . - Yes, really. I can’t tell you how many times I saw this faux pas committed that week. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2017, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/431 "2017-11-21T13:22:28Z")
This turkey needed a bigger boat. ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2017, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/432 "2017-11-21T14:08:09Z")
This turkey made him angry. The turkey didn’t like him when he was angry. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2017, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/433 "2017-11-21T14:35:35Z")
After taking acid, this turkey thought he could fly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2017, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/434 "2017-11-21T14:41:44Z")
> [@Chopper9760](#): > > Nay, turkey thread can _never_ jump the shark. Never! This turkey tried to jump the shark, but didn’t make it. _Insert JAWS music here_ ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2017, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/435 "2017-11-21T15:16:27Z")
This turkey was sentenced to death, had his sentence commuted to life in prison, parole denied multiple times, and died of natural causes without his Family. Sad! ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2017, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/436 "2017-11-21T15:36:19Z")
Captain Nathan Algren helped this turkey perform Seppuku on the field of battle. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2017, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/437 "2017-11-21T20:46:44Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > Captain Nathan Algren helped this turkey perform Seppuku on the field of battle. Ah, a puzzle solver was he? ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2017, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/438 "2017-11-21T23:17:52Z")
This turkey was among those pardoned by President Obama, and subsequently ordered executed by President Trump. “Worst turkeys, ever. Sad.” [Original idea by Hari Seldon.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=20615483&postcount=26) ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2017, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/439 "2017-11-22T14:06:02Z")
As predicted 500 years ago by Nostradamus: When the trumpet sounds defeat In the land of Bill and Hill The Donald gives a tweet: “This turkey shall be killed.” ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2017, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/440 "2017-11-23T14:38:33Z")
T’was a far, far better thing this turkey did, than it had ever done before. . . [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252.md?page=21) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252.md?page=23)