# This turkey was killed by hand with a sharp knife **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 12, 2012, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252 "2012-01-12T03:51:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 23
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2017, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/441 "2017-11-24T02:10:41Z")
This turkey stole John Wick’s car and killed his dog. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2017, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/442 "2017-11-24T20:02:58Z")
This turkey froze to death listening to John Lennon. This turkey was found suffocated in a bed of straw. This turkey had one last request: Tan me hide when I’m dead, Fred. Tan me hide when I’m dead. So we tanned his hide when he died, Clyde, and that’s it hanging on the shed. All together now… ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2017, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/443 "2017-11-24T20:40:30Z")
This turkey said “I’ll drop dead if Trump becomes President.” And he did. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2017, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/444 "2017-11-24T22:09:05Z")
this turkey called in John Wick’s marker, then double-crossed him ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2017, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/445 "2017-11-24T22:20:58Z")
This turkey was a member of [a death cult](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KLt81iVEgo). ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2017, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/446 "2017-11-24T23:08:58Z")
This turkey was [dropped from a plan in Arkansas.](http://www.newser.com/story/251948/turkeys-in-arkansas-have-the-real-nightmare-flights.html?utm_source=part&utm_medium=latest&utm_campaign=social) ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2017, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/447 "2017-11-26T19:14:56Z")
This turkey went gentle into that good night. ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2017, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/448 "2017-11-26T20:10:50Z")
> [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > This turkey was [dropped from a plan in Arkansas.](http://www.newser.com/story/251948/turkeys-in-arkansas-have-the-real-nightmare-flights.html?utm_source=part&utm_medium=latest&utm_campaign=social) At first I thought this was referencing health care plans, then clicked on your link and realized you meant, “plane.” Funny either way. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2017, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/449 "2017-11-26T21:18:41Z")
Oops. Sorry about that. Yes, dropped from a PLANE as in airplane. ---
**Author:** ![Zoom\_Rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecae2f/32.png) [@Zoom\_Rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoom_Rabbit)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2017, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/450 "2017-11-27T06:27:38Z")
This turkey isn’t dead at all. It has waited, undergone training and chosen its weapons carefully. This turkey is merely in cryogenic suspension. Open with caution. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2017, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/451 "2017-11-27T14:31:02Z")
This turkey chocked to death on Trump’s toupee. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2018, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/452 "2018-11-16T16:42:40Z")
The bride that took this turkey’s breath away became the wife that made him hold his breath in terror. This turkey tried to lower a barrel of bricks from the roof on a pulley. . .pre-tenderized This turkey accepted an invitation to visit the Saudi Embassy. This turkey let Thanos get hold of the last Infinity stone. This turkey was found dead at his Love Ranch brothel about an hour outside Las Vegas. His body was discovered by porn actor Ron Jeremy and a prostitute at the brothel. The cause of death has yet to be determined, but the turkey had spent the four previous days partying with notables from the sex industry and political world celebrating his 72nd birthday. Despite being deceased, the people of Nevada, in their infinite wisdom, elected him to the state assembly a month later. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2018, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/453 "2018-11-16T23:09:10Z")
This turkey was, wha? Stop! Put down that cleaver! No! No! Aieieieeee… ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2018, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/454 "2018-11-16T23:51:07Z")
This turkey choked on someone else’s vomit. However, we never found out whose vomit it was, because Scotland Yard still doesn’t have the facilities - you can’t dust for vomit. ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2018, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/455 "2018-11-17T00:07:32Z")
This Turkey was nibbled to death by… what are those Earth creatures? Quack. Eat bread … ah yes, cats. Nibbled to death by cats. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2018, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/456 "2018-11-19T18:49:45Z")
This turkey suffered a slow, agonizing, pointless death of cannibalization. It watched _Battlefield Earth._ ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2018, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/457 "2018-11-19T19:32:35Z")
This turkey was not vaccinated against the flu. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2018, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/458 "2018-11-20T16:04:52Z")
Never bring a turkey to a cock fight! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2018, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/459 "2018-11-20T16:11:15Z")
Inspired by the thread title right above this one right now: This turkey jumped into frozen lake with predictable results. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2018, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/460 "2018-11-20T17:37:40Z")
This turkey finally died, which started the whole world living. This turkey was in love with dying, he was drinking from a fountain that was pouring like an avalanche, coming down the mountain. This turkey had joy, he had fun, he had seasons in the sun, but the wine and the song, like the seasons, have all gone. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252.md?page=22) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252.md?page=24)