# This turkey was killed by hand with a sharp knife

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [January 12, 2012, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252 "2012-01-12T03:51:36Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 31

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**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\
**Post date:** [November 28, 2025, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/601 "2025-11-28T02:32:36Z")

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This turkey was testing to see if his new jacket was really stab proof.

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**Author:** ![ASL\_v2.0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asl_v2.0/32/3525_2.png) [@ASL\_v2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASL_v2.0)\
**Post date:** [November 28, 2025, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/602 "2025-11-28T02:38:23Z")

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Until today, the shortest story in the English language was traditionally reckoned as “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”

It has been replaced by “For dinner: turkey denied pardon.”

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**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\
**Post date:** [November 28, 2025, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/603 "2025-11-28T02:40:37Z")

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This turkey placed his lava lamp on the stove to make it heat up faster. Pre-basted.

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**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\
**Post date:** [November 28, 2025, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/604 "2025-11-28T03:27:39Z")

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This Turkey said “hush, piggie” to the ham. One too many times.

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**Author:** ![Al128](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/al128/32/16541_2.png) [@Al128](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al128)\
**Post date:** [November 28, 2025, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/605 "2025-11-28T23:07:51Z")

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> [@ASL\_v2.0](#):
>
> Until today, the shortest story in the English language was traditionally reckoned as “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”
> 
> It has been replaced by “For dinner: turkey denied pardon.”

reminds me of that rather cheeky:

For sale: French rifle, never fired, only dropped once.

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