# This turkey was killed by hand with a sharp knife **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 12, 2012, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252 "2012-01-12T03:51:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Dahnlor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dahnlor/32/533_2.png) [@Dahnlor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dahnlor)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/101 "2012-01-13T03:22:29Z")
This turkey killed 5 people and injured 8 others in an office rampage before being shot by a police sniper. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/102 "2012-01-13T03:28:52Z")
This turkey inexplicably fell out of a window while practicing a piece from Bach’s cello suites. This turkey died at the Paris opera house during a rehearsal of Puccini’s _Tosca_, in a bizarre accident involving a prop WWI pistol. This turkey was found dead in New Orleans, wearing a turkey suit. Police suspect blood money is involved. ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/103 "2012-01-13T03:34:22Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > This turkey was killed by hand with a blunt knife. > > ETA: it took forever. Please excuse the mess. Criminy, dude! I just saw this thread and was going to post almost EXACTLY the same thing. Are you my long lost son, or something? I hate being ninjaed and from … 12 hours ago? ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/104 "2012-01-13T03:40:35Z")
Hey, uh… is this a real word? zoroastrianized Come on, you turkey! ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/105 "2012-01-13T03:53:54Z")
This turkey was mistaken for an Iranian nuclear scientist. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/106 "2012-01-13T04:14:44Z")
Cannon to the right of them, Cannon to the left of them, Cannon in front of them   Volley’d and thunder’d; Storm’d at with shot and shell, Boldly they rode and well, Into the jaws of Death, Into the mouth of Hell   Rode the six hundred. Happy Thanksgiving, from the Charge of the Lightly Brined. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/107 "2012-01-13T04:15:36Z")
This turkey never did nothing to William Zanzinger. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/108 "2012-01-13T04:26:40Z")
On Friday night, this turkey died in New York. Somebody knows why. Out there, somebody knows… ---
**Author:** ![Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ed655f/32.png) [@Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crown_Prince_of_Irony)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/109 "2012-01-13T05:12:24Z")
This turkey moved to Cabot Cove, Maine. This turkey met Harry Callahan, and felt lucky. Samuel L. Jackson has had it with these motherf_ **ing turkeys on this mortherf** _ing plane. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/110 "2012-01-13T13:09:02Z")
This turkey laid down that boogie and played that funky music till he died. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/111 "2012-01-13T13:20:31Z")
This turkey said they couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/112 "2012-01-13T13:21:20Z")
Police in New york City chased this turkey through the park. In a case of mistaken identity, they put a bullet through its heart. This turkey was slowly decapitated after getting its head trapped while looking out of the town clock. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/113 "2012-01-13T13:25:21Z")
This turkey ended its life in a Mechanical Suicide Booth ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/114 "2012-01-13T13:43:27Z")
[http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.myspaceanimations.com/images/funny-thanksgiving-eat-beef-joke.gif&imgrefurl=http://www.myspaceanimations.com/myspace-animations-thanksgiving-turkeys.html&h=532&w=462&sz=140&tbnid=flG5\_ub9RypneM:&tbnh=84&tbnw=73&zoom=1&docid=2iwNYs6ZWhJCxM&sa=X&ei=ozQQT\_T\_EqvYiALVyPXJDQ&ved=0CDcQ9QEwAA&dur=36](http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.myspaceanimations.com/images/funny-thanksgiving-eat-beef-joke.gif&imgrefurl=http://www.myspaceanimations.com/myspace-animations-thanksgiving-turkeys.html&h=532&w=462&sz=140&tbnid=flG5_ub9RypneM:&tbnh=84&tbnw=73&zoom=1&docid=2iwNYs6ZWhJCxM&sa=X&ei=ozQQT_T_EqvYiALVyPXJDQ&ved=0CDcQ9QEwAA&dur=36) It was the cows what did it. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/115 "2012-01-13T14:21:12Z")
This turkey slipped on a bar of soap in the shower. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/116 "2012-01-13T14:23:35Z")
Questo tacchino vissuto la pistola e il coltello, il tacchino morto dalla pistola e il coltello. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/117 "2012-01-13T14:42:58Z")
> [@Gagundathar](#): > > Hey, uh… is this a real word? > zoroastrianized > > Come on, you turkey! Of course it is. What do you think, this is a joke thread or something? Are you squawkin’ at me? This turkey fell out of a tree when his friend jounced the limb . . . ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/118 "2012-01-13T15:00:31Z")
This turkey came in second in a razor fight. This turkey left the road at 90, that’s all there is to say… This turkey just up and quit. ---
**Author:** ![Kilmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a6a055/32.png) [@Kilmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilmore)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/119 "2012-01-13T15:16:48Z")
One can even set up quite ridiculous cases. A turkey is penned up in a steel chamber, along with the following device (which must be secured against direct interference by the turkey): in a Geiger counter, there is a tiny bit of radioactive substance, so small that perhaps in the course of the hour, one of the atoms decays, but also, with equal probability, perhaps none; if it happens, the counter tube discharges, and through a relay releases a hammer that shatters a small flask of hydrocyanic acid. If one has left this entire system to itself for an hour, one would say that the turkey still lives if meanwhile no atom has decayed. The psi-function of the entire system would express this by having in it the living and dead turkey (pardon the expression) mixed or smeared out in equal parts. It is typical of these cases that an indeterminacy originally restricted to the atomic domain becomes transformed into macroscopic indeterminacy, which can then be resolved by direct observation. That prevents us from so naively accepting as valid a “blurred model” for representing reality. In itself, it would not embody anything unclear or contradictory. There is a difference between a shaky or out-of-focus photograph and a snapshot of clouds and fog banks. ~Schroedinger’s turkey ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252/120 "2012-01-13T15:16:55Z")
two turkeys entered, this turkey did not leave. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-turkey-was-killed-by-hand-with-a-sharp-knife/609252.md?page=7)