:: looks up from distributing Veloci-Snausages::
Why wouldn’t the Ents be roused in the same manner? Merry and Pippin didn’t really affect that situation did they? It seemed clear that Gandalf made a point of detouring to Fangorn to get word to Treebeard for just that purpose.
You realize my 'raptors are engineered to have flesh similar in composition to polar bear livers, right?
The book is elsewhere, of course, but I believe Fangorn himself said that it was Masters Took & Brandybuck’s arrival that got him to get off his splintery wooden ass. I don’t know that Fangorn would have been moved by
Well, that’s as may be. They still seem to love Snausages though.
Who’s a kyoot snoogly widdow Wossiwaptoo? You is! Yes you is!
“Of course?” If you haven’t got the books memorized, then what are you doing traveling without them? You’re just asking to get caught in situations like this.
Recall that Treebeard already knew Gandalf was still alive, even when Merry and Pippin told him he’d died in Moria. Also, Gandalf also knew Merry and Pippin were with Treebeard. It seemed pretty obvious that Aragorn & Co. ran into Gandalf on the eaves of Fangorn because he’d been talking to Treebeard directly.
:dubious: If I didn’t know better, I’d suspect that you were thinking of the movies instead.
But of course I do know that, so that can’t be it, of course. Of course.
This is quite possibly the coolest bit of fan-wank I’ve ever read. Ya’ll are frickin geeks of the highest order. My own geekhood pales in comparison, and I shall have to retire with my copy of LOTR in order to determine whether I am fit to post in this thread again.
Carry on.
I am also of the opinion that the Ents would have been roused with or without Merry & Pippin. They may have been the straw that broke the camel’s back, but Saruman was throwing around lots of straws. And I think Gandalf was probably more persuasive than the Hobbits.
And besides, even without Merry, Pippin still gets captured by Uruk-hai, still gets rescued by Treebeard, and still ends up at Orthanc with the Ent army. He just does it solo.
More likely that Sam would use the ring (rather, the ring use him) to go after his pettier hatreds—after Gollum, he’d still realize he couldn’t defeat Sauron (because the ring would make him feel LESS safe and strong), but he might use it to sneak off and kill that nasty Boromir, who gave Frodo such a turn, and then maybe do back to the Shire to hide the ring ‘for good’ … and while he’s there, he might take care of that Bill Ferny in Bree and that Ted Sandyman down the road …
:eek:
Repeat after me. B-O-O-K. Singular. Lord of the Rings is a single book, separated for convenience into three volumes. Only vulgar fools of the sort who think Frodo was attacked by a cave-troll think otherwise.
And once again we have completed the circle of snark!
It’s the Circle of Snark
And it chafes us all
Through snideness and jokes
Through chides and scolds
Till we find our own
On the threads unending
In the Circle
The Circle of Snark
Wrong-o
It is six books.
…consolidated for convenience into three volumes.
You’ll pay for this, Superman. Oh, how you’ll pay.
Same song, second verse.
…same as the first
“I’m Durin the Eighth, I yam.”
–as performed by Elffred Elf and his Middle-Earth Band
I prefer the version by Herman’s Hobbits.
:: slides out from under under massive sci-fi cannon-thingie and grabs rag to wipe ichor off my hands ::
The very second I get this baryon-evaporator online, you are getting such a disintegrating.
:: returns to work on thingie :;
It is ONE book, split into six major sections, originally published in 3 volumes.
Herman’s Hobbits! and “As Melkor is my witness, I thought raptors could fly.” ! Those two are keepers. By Eru, what a productive thread this has been.
(I’m still off-topic wondering whether Gandalf the white could have been killed and whether he would have been brought back yet again by TPTB if he had).
No Ringwraith was likely to kill the White Rider. On his return, Gandalf had a lot more free reign to use his powers. Even the Witch King was not strong enough to defeat him. A Balrog was a far more powerful being to start with then any Ringwraith and Gandalf the Grey was able to kill it. I don’t know if Sauron had much at his disposal at that point to kill Gandalf the White. Perhaps a concerted attack by all of the 9? Of course all bets were off if Sauron regained the Ring.
In the end the Witch King may have deceived himself as to being able to beat Gandalf, but the Witch King probably could not even beat Aragorn with Anduril.
He seemed confident that neither Aragorn, Legolas, nor Gimli could have hurt him in Fangorn, so I’ll say nobody’s killing the White except for the Black. And given that Eru himself bought Gandalf his ticket back to Arda, I’d say that if that happened the following memo gets sent via telepathic email:
To: Manwë Súlimo, King of Arda
From: Eru Ilúvatar, All-Father
cc: Tulkas, Oromë, Námo, Eönwë
Sub: Gortaur/Sauron/Annatar/Thû
I was on a fishing trip with Woden, Jove, An, and Chuck Norris when I was IMed by some idiot Ainu at the Halls of Mandos. It seems that young Olórin has gotten his carnal shell killed again, and that Melkor’s lieutenant is on the verge of establishing nigh-illimitable dominion over all my Children in Middle-earth. That message prompts this email. I wish to cover three issue:
Námo, please see that your clerks are retrained. I realize that, as an Ainu, Olórin’s presence in the Halls is clearly a mistake, but that is your department, not mine. It is not appropriate for clerks to bother me with this, as I am, after all, God. Plus I am on vacation. I don’t think you people realize how much effort I put in on a daily basis just keeping the cosmological constant constant; even I need a rest.
Tulkas, Oromë, Eönwë: just what am I paying you guys for, anyway? I know, I know, “We don’t understand the full nature of the Children and particularly the Second-Born, and so we dare not intervene too much.” That is bullshit. I’ll say it slowly so you understand. B U L L S H I T. I happen to know that you, Tulkas, have spent better than 984,467 years plotting new and exciting ways to get Nienna to agree to a three-way with you and Nessa. News flash: it’s not going to happen, and, the reason Nessa said that she’d only agree to go girl-girl for your amusement if Nienna was the other girl was because she knew that. Me, you’re stupid.
Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh, yeah, Sauron, and the fact that you three have done precisely bupkis about the fact that he and his twisted Orcs are murdering, raping, burning, raping, enslaving, raping, despoiling, and raping my Children. GET OFF YOUR ASSES! Oromë, put together a hunting party and take out every remaining dragon, troll, stone-giant, and ohter such monster. (Better double-check for Balrogs; Olórin’s careless.) Eönwë, put together an army and take out the Orcs. And Tulkas you–yes YOU, personally–haul Sauron’s ass out of the Circles of the World to await My judgment. I am not happy with your performance in particular, Tulkas. Chuck is right here and ready to take over your spot if I say the word. This is your only warning.
…called “books”. It says so right on the frigging contents page.