# Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light--revisited... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 16, 2001, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-painter-of-light-revisited/54804 "2001-02-16T21:47:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2001, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-painter-of-light-revisited/54804/1 "2001-02-16T21:47:32Z")
I have now made the official acquaintance of Mr. Thomas Kinkade. For some reason, this had eluded me so far in life. Whole months, even years, have gone by, and the only relevance that the name “Thomas Kinkade” had for me was that Cranky had started a Pit thread about him. But this morning, while waiting at the Christian bookstore for the girl to come back up front with my order of Sunday School materials, the Curse had come upon me, and I had ample opportunity to study a display of his work. [_ **ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!** _] [sound of violent retching] So I went and looked at this thread, and although the impulse to flame and rant was burning strong within me, I realized it might be a mistake to bump a two-page thread from last June, since to all appearances Cranky has bravely managed to pick up the pieces and put her life back together again. Why reopen old wounds? And after reading my way through it, I came to the humbling realization that there was really nothing I could say that could improve upon what had already been said. So I have taken the liberty of presenting both a link to the old thread, and an edited version, a sort of _Reader’s Digest_ thread, of the thread known as “Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light–Bite Me!” [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28376](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28376) > [@](#): > > - The OP: originally posted by CrankyAsAnOldMan, 6-22-2000\* > \*\*If I never see another painting of a quaint cottage, I’ll die a satisfied woman. > > This guy is some kind of marketing genius. Who the hell adds a job description to their name like that? George, slayer of dragons. Cranky, poster of inane tripe. He now has his own retail outlets. That’s right, entire “galleries” dedicated to selling just his stuff. I also saw that he has a book out. Yes, just because this guy can paint bestsellers, that qualifies him to write homilies about life and living. > > Painter of Light my ass. Vermeer, maybe. Not Kinkade. \*\* > [@](#): > > _originally posted by PaulYeah, 6-22-2000_ > **Kinkade… he gets his palette from a box of Fruity Pebbles. I may not know art, but I know he sucks.** > [@](#): > > _originally posted by msrobyn, 6-22-2000_ > \*\*I changed jobs when he opened a store in a downtown Minneapolis shopping mall. The choice was either a new job or powerful anti-nausea drugs. \*\* > [@](#): > > _originally posted by Spiritus Mundi, 6-22-2000_ > \*\*No talent, soulless, uninspired marketing genius that he is, Mr. Thomas Fucking! KinKade has managed to become rich by convincing people that the best art is a vapid and devoid of challenge. > > I generally refer to him as “Painter Spice”.\*\* > [@](#): > > _originally posted by Nacho4Sara, 6-22-2000_ > \*\*I have mentioned in another post that one time my mom’s friend fixed something the matter with my computer. She brought along a Thomas Kinkade disk and installed it on MY computer. > > So I turn it on and up pops TK’s crap. If that is not bad enough, each picture as accompanied by a BIBLE QUOTE!! > > _gasping with anger as I type_ > > I’m agnostic! I think the Bible is bullshit! Who would do this to me? > > My own mother. > > 25 revolving TK paintings with Bible quotes. Fuck me in the ear with sandpaper cause now I am in hell. > > Luckily, I deleted them right away. Never truly forgave my mom for that one.\*\* This is what I was looking at in the store–a demo of this. And this quote sums up exactly what I felt. You are as perceptive as you are wise, O Sara of the Nachos. 🙂 > [@](#): > > _originally posted by Nacho4Sara, 6-28-2000_ > \*\*Fuck you Tommy Kinkade. You buy into this shit, this precious-moments-the-denim-kids-stupid-figurines-matching-lace-curtains-you-get-the-idea bullshit. Fuck you. \*\* > [@](#): > > _originally posted by msrobyn, 12-17-2000_ > \*\*In the hopes of finding something redeeming about the quality of his work, I visited Thomas Kinkade’s website. > > I couldn’t find any. This is truly art that is designed to cater to the masses. After viewing this site, I felt the need to pour salt and vinegar on my monitor just to get rid of the cloying sweetness. \*\* And in closing, I’d like to take the liberty of editing Cranky’s OP, pursuant to her second post to the thread. Think of it as a rectification, a clarification–no, a _restoration_… > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by CrankyAsAnOldMan, 6-22-2000_ > \*\*P.S. I took all the original “fucks” out of that post, in deference to another thread, and it came out as a mild whine instead of the rant I truly feel. Who knew one could loathe airy little paintings this much? \*\* \ "If I never see another fucking painting of a fucking quaint cottage, I’ll die a satisfied woman. This fucking guy is some kind of fucking marketing genius. Who the hell adds a job description to their fucking name like that? George, fucking slayer of dragons. He now has his own fucking retail outlets. That’s right, entire fucking “galleries” dedicated to selling just his fucking stuff. I also saw that he has a fucking book out. Yes, just because this fucking guy can paint fucking bestsellers, that qualifies him to write fucking homilies about life and living. Painter of Light my ass. Vermeer, maybe. Not Thomas fucking Kinkade." I couldn’t have said it better myself. Thank you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![slackergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@slackergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slackergirl)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2001, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-painter-of-light-revisited/54804/2 "2001-02-16T23:57:39Z")
I’d never come across him either until I was walking around with my Aunt and we happened across one of his “galleries” She spoke in hushed tones “he’s so wonderful, he’s the painter of light, you know” like he was the pope or something. She made me go in there with her while she bought a calendar. I needed to drink heavily after that. I missed Cranky’s thread - thanks for the cliff’s notes on it! ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-painter-of-light-revisited/54804/3 "2001-02-17T00:38:03Z")
From his website:"…a truly accomplished artist doesn’t really paint with pigments and colors. They taught me that the masters paint with light and shadow." I just came. I had never heard of this guy until now, but his stuff looks like the genereic sort of stuff you’d find in the average mall. The fact that he considers himself “a master” shows a lot of gall. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-painter-of-light-revisited/54804/4 "2001-02-17T02:30:58Z")
What gets me is that it doesn’t even make sense. I mean, try being a painter of dark. It just doesn’t work. You just get a whole lotta black. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-painter-of-light-revisited/54804/5 "2001-02-17T02:56:56Z")
My mom bought a Thomas Kinkade jigsaw puzzle at a Hallmark store. After she put it together, she laminated it with Jigsaw Puzzle Glue and had it framed. Under glass. (I’m assuming you know how much that kind of framing costs…) At least she had fun putting the puzzle together. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-painter-of-light-revisited/54804/6 "2001-02-17T03:43:11Z")
I have some persistent medical problems which sometimes cause me to have trouble keeping my food down. I like to eat Froot Loops for breakfast. This often produces colorful results. After seeing Kinkade’s work, I realize that I’ve been wasting my talent by throwing up in toilet bowls. If I did it on canvas I could have my own retail outlets in malls all over the country. Then people could call me “Lamia, Puker of Light”. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-painter-of-light-revisited/54804/7 "2001-02-17T05:12:51Z")
DDG, thank you for filling in all those missing modifiers in my post–what an improvement. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-painter-of-light-revisited/54804/8 "2001-02-17T12:23:19Z")
I’m about to “out” myself. Having missed (or, inexplicably ignored?) the thread on it’s first go-round, I looked up TK on the web and…I don’t hate him. Maybe repeated exposure will generate hatred, but while I find him deriviatave and very, VERY repetitive, I think his technique’s good and some of his pictures (the ones that DON’T feature the one Munchkinland-esque hut) are somewhat evocative. [Here](http://www.wheelergalleries.com/tk/html/pareiftow.html) and [here](http://www.wheelergalleries.com/tk/html/sanfrahydstr.html) are a few of his paintings I kind of like. I admit I had to wade through about seventy craptacular “Munchkinland at Sunset”, “Munchkinland in Winter”, “Munchkinland at Night”, etc type paintings to find those few, but I like those few. \ Have you lost all respect for me? \ Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-painter-of-light-revisited/54804/9 "2001-02-17T18:30:06Z")
I’m no artist, not by any stretch of the imagination. I made an attempt to draw Tigger yesterday, because my daughter asked me to. When I finished, she looked at it and said “Mama, that not Tigger. That Piglet. Draw Tigger!” So now I’m wrestling here–I can’t even draw Tigger well enough to fool my own three-year-old, but I firmly believe that Thomas Kinkade’s “art” sucks ass. Is that wrong? ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-painter-of-light-revisited/54804/10 "2001-02-17T18:38:01Z")
I like it. I’m so ashamed!! Zette ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-painter-of-light-revisited/54804/11 "2001-02-17T18:43:28Z")
Weeeelll…I can see what Fenris means-some of his paintings are just OKAY, and if you wanted something to hang in a nondescript spot, you might get one. It’s not so much the paintings that bother me-some of them are cute. It’s the whole way they’re marketed. ---
**Author:** ![douglips](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@douglips](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/douglips)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-painter-of-light-revisited/54804/12 "2001-02-17T19:01:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Persephone \* > \*\*So now I’m wrestling here–I can’t even draw Tigger well enough to fool my own three-year-old, but I firmly believe that Thomas Kinkade’s “art” sucks ass. > > Is that wrong? \*\* I can’t play music very well, but I know that I’d rather listen to REM than Smashing fucking Pumpkins. It’s not wrong. ---
**Author:** ![robinh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b77776/32.png) [@robinh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robinh)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2001, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-painter-of-light-revisited/54804/13 "2001-02-18T00:28:17Z")
I was in the craft store today. While perusing the cross-stitch leaflets I discovered that Thomas Kinkade fans who simply cannot fulfill their needs in mall galleries can now spend untold hours recreating his works in cotton floss. This is a truly horrifying prospect, as I can only imagine receiving such a work of art from a well-meaning grandmother and feeling obligated to display it. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2001, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-painter-of-light-revisited/54804/14 "2001-02-18T00:55:21Z")
Welcome to the world of lowest common denominator art. I’ve surfed past soap operas with more content than all of his work put together. This guy must use schmaltz when he mixes his paints. He probably listens to Kenny G. for inspiration while he sketches out his next quaint-structure-next-to-the-quaint-bridge-over-the-quaint-millpond-near-the-quaint-forest picture. Frick all-mighty, this @ssclown makes Leroy Neiman look like Pablo-effing-Picasso. We need to jam his paint brushes where the sun don’t shine, wrap this turd in his own wet canvas and weight him down with a couple gallons of interior latex (his true medium!) before throwing him off a pier. Can you say, “precious”? “Treacle”? “Drivel”? I keep looking for the Franklin Mint trademark at the bottom of his ads. I think this gobbler spent way too much time playing with mommy’s “Precious Moments” figurines. Either that or he’s deep breathing his own paint fumes. The “painter of light” designation is merely a truncated version of the truth. More like: “ **Painter of light-weight tripe!** ” I wouldn’t trust this twit with painting my house! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2001, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-painter-of-light-revisited/54804/15 "2001-02-18T01:22:16Z")
Hey, the Franklin Mint is pretty nice for collector dolls. AND…they hold the rights to the House of Faberge, and have been making traditional Faberge eggs in the original design. Trust me, it’s nice. And I LIKE the Precious Moments little bunnies, but I’m a sucker for animals. And I have been known to like a Kenny G. song or two when I was younger. (Even though I don’t like the guy himself). Actually, Thomas probably listens to Yanni and Anne Murray. Other than that, I agree. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2001, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-painter-of-light-revisited/54804/16 "2001-02-18T07:53:33Z")
Zenster: How DARE you even MENTION Thomas Kinkade and Precious Moments in the same sentence! Precious Moments _sucks,_ no doubt. But there’s suck, and then there’s the Kirby-level sucking that TK has reached. Chrome-off-a-trailer-hitch suck. Paint-by-numbers-black-velvet-Elvis-is-Michelangelo-compared-to-this suck. The kind of suck that makes those of us who believe in a Deity think that maybe we’re wrong. Now be a little more careful next time! ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2001, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-painter-of-light-revisited/54804/17 "2001-02-18T09:26:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Persephone \* > \*\*Zenster: How DARE you even MENTION Thomas Kinkade and Precious Moments in the same sentence! > > Precious Moments _sucks,_ no doubt. But there’s suck, and then there’s the Kirby-level sucking that TK has reached. Chrome-off-a-trailer-hitch suck. Paint-by-numbers-black-velvet-Elvis-is-Michelangelo-compared-to-this suck. The kind of suck that makes those of us who believe in a Deity think that maybe we’re wrong. > > Now be a little more careful next time! \*\* It’s hard to argue with logic! I have to agree that TK has reached the high earth orbit “Hoover-the-hatch-off-a-space-capsule” sort of vacuousness. PS: Extra points for high density iconography. We’ve got Kirby vacuum cleaners, chrome trailer hitches, paint by the numbers, black velvet Elvis, Michelangelo and the Diety herself, [Bullwinkle Moose] …all in this itty-bitty paragraph… [/Bullwinkle Moose] Bravo Author! ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2001, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-painter-of-light-revisited/54804/18 "2001-02-18T13:20:46Z")
He’s not ALL bad. If you should have a power outage, you can easily navagate by the glare of his paintings. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2001, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-painter-of-light-revisited/54804/19 "2001-02-18T15:54:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Smeghead \* > \*\*What gets me is that it doesn’t even make sense. I mean, try being a painter of dark. It just doesn’t work. You just get a whole lotta black. \*\* [hijack] It’s actually a LOT harder to paint with dark than with light. Be it the naked eye ( someone’s home, carefully lit), paintings, still photographs or motion picture film. Anyone can make an image very light. Very few artisans can make an image incredibly dark, yet maintain the dramatic tension. I won’t do a full-on snotty hijack about the film industry, let’s instead look at Vermeer. His use of light and shadow is impressive. We all love his use of sunlight, the man knew how to illuminate a woman’s puss. However, the next time you are in front of a real one ( opposed to the deck of Vermeer playing cards I’ve got around here somewhere 😉 ), look at the corners. He used ratios like a fucking…well…well… **Master**!! Sometimes there’s SO little in the dark areas to see, but what is there is always important. Subtext, a bit of humor,what-have-you. He used it all, including the darks. This **Jamoke**?? He’s the Hormel of painting. Grind in enough Mad Painter Disease-tainted meat, and you get the likes of him 😃 😃 I’m with y-all all the way on this rant. But… one does paint with dark with incredible effect.[/hijack]. \<–slathering on Poetic Wax, so as I can wax poetic. After all, it’s not what you plainly see, it’s what you don’t quite see. Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2001, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-painter-of-light-revisited/54804/20 "2001-02-18T16:06:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zenster \* > [B Can you say, “precious”? “Treacle”? “Drivel”? The “painter of light” designation is merely a truncated version of the truth. More like: > “ **Painter of light-weight tripe!** ” > I wouldn’t trust this twit with painting my house! \*\* **Zenster** , man. You’re suppressing. Be in _TOUCH_ with your inner anger. Let it out. Share, man, SHARE !!! 😃 😃 😃 Cartooniverse [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-painter-of-light-revisited/54804.md?page=2)