# Thomas Kinkade...Urinator of Light. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 6, 2006, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202 "2006-03-06T00:58:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/1 "2006-03-06T00:58:58Z")
> **[Dark Portrait of a 'Painter of Light'](https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2006-mar-05-fi-kinkade5-story.html)** > > Christian-themed artist Thomas Kinkade is accused of ruthless tactics and seamy personal conduct. He disputes the allegations. Some folks are just so target rich that you almost feel guilty for the schadenfrau. Martha Stewart comes to mind falls for that category. And then…then there’s folks who urinate on Winnie the Pooh, fondle the breasts of complete strangers (without permission), and heckle Siegfried & Roy. Well maybe that last one isn’t evil in and of itself. Defrauding the owners of art galleries and treating your employees like scum is though. > [@](#): > > “I love to talk about my faith,” Kinkade said in a deposition. “I try to embrace people with love, unconditional love, like Christ did.” Jesus didn’t take a whiz on Pooh or molest women at signings, you twit. This was worth a chuckle… > [@](#): > > “I think it was Roy or Siegfried or whatever had a codpiece in his leotards,” Dandois testified. "And so when the show started, Thom just started yelling, ‘Codpiece, codpiece,’ and had to be quieted by his mother and Nanette. and… > [@](#): > > When pressed about allegedly relieving himself in a hotel elevator in Las Vegas, Kinkade said it might have happened. > > “There may have been some ritual territory marking going on, but I don’t recall it,” he said. “ritual territory marking”? The line forms to the left for those who would like to “ritually mark” some of Mr. Kinkade’s “art”. I will save an extra helping of scorn for Karen de la Carriere, though. > [@](#): > > “This is God-given talent,” she said of a favored print, “Sierra Evening Majesty,” with its snowy peaks, red-gold skies and smoke wisping from a cabin chimney. **"He is a modern-day Leonardo da Vinci or Monet.** There is no one in our generation who can paint like that." No further comment needed. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/2 "2006-03-06T01:04:28Z")
Thomas Kinkade is worthy of a pitting. But I have to ax, beagledave . . . have you been drinking? ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/3 "2006-03-06T01:10:14Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > Thomas Kinkade is worthy of a pitting. But I have to ax, beagledave . . . have you been drinking? No, why? ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/4 "2006-03-06T01:18:04Z")
We call him the _Painter of Tripe_. I suggest a gander [Here](http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=1918) and [here](http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=1928). ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/5 "2006-03-06T01:29:45Z")
“schadenfrau”? So that’s what Martha Stewart is. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/6 "2006-03-06T01:32:12Z")
> [@Thudlow Boink](#): > > “schadenfrau”? So that’s what Martha Stewart is. Eh…maybe I **was** drinking. Schadenfreude indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/7 "2006-03-06T01:35:28Z")
I like it when he says this about the alleged groping: “But you’ve got to remember,” he said, “I’m the idol to these women who are there. They sell my work every day, you know. They’re enamored with any attention I would give them. I don’t know what kind of flirting they were trying to do with me. I don’t recall what was going on that night.” ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/8 "2006-03-06T01:35:56Z")
Thomas Kinkade has written (or co-written, or paid ghost writers to write) several novels, too. Our library can hardly keep them in stock – the same crowd who loves the never-ending series of \*Left Behind \* novels and whichever writer is billed as “The Christian Tom Clancy” goes coo-coo for them. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/9 "2006-03-06T01:37:52Z")
> [@The Sausage Creature](#): > > We call him the _Painter of Tripe_. I suggest a gander [Here](http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=1918) and [here](http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=1928). And locally, we have [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=28376) and [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=60264) and [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=177984). He’s overdue; that last one is almost three years old. I thought I’d mentioned in the last thread, but can’t find it, the one redeeming feature of his work: his paintings make damn fine jigsaw puzzles. ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/10 "2006-03-06T01:40:25Z")
Oh, man, **Sausage Creature** , thank you so much for that link to the Painter of Blight parodies on Something Awful. I’ve had a long weekend of work, and that made me belly laugh, still gut chuckling… Especially the Ostrich and Bob Ross screaming. Lovely! ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/11 "2006-03-06T01:43:04Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > Thomas Kinkade has written (or co-written, or paid ghost writers to write) several novels, too. Our library can hardly keep them in stock – the same crowd who loves the never-ending series of \*Left Behind \* novels and whichever writer is billed as “The Christian Tom Clancy” goes coo-coo for them. Having read one of the _Left Behind_ novels (it was a class assignment), I’ve decided that comparing LaHaye and Jenkins to Clancy is an insult to Clancy. That’s how badly-written these books are. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/12 "2006-03-06T01:58:02Z")
Ha, thanks Frank for the threads. elelle, my pleasure. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/13 "2006-03-06T02:03:18Z")
> [@asterion](#): > > Having read one of the _Left Behind_ novels (it was a class assignment), I’ve decided that comparing LaHaye and Jenkins to Clancy is an insult to Clancy. That’s how badly-written these books are. No, not LaHaye and Jenkins. There’s another writer who is called “The Christian Tom Clancy”… I’ll look for his name tomorrow when I go back into the stacks. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/14 "2006-03-06T02:11:54Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > No, not LaHaye and Jenkins. There’s another writer who is called “The Christian Tom Clancy”… I’ll look for his name tomorrow when I go back into the stacks. Oh. See, my take on having to read _Armageddon_ was something along the lines of “this is like really, really bad Tom Clancy. Like the stuff I read to kill time on the plane that actually isn’t written by Clancy but is titled ‘Tom Clancy’s Whatever’ and written by some guy I’ve never heard of. But still worse, because the entire idea is even more ludicrious than groups of cyberterrorists.” ---
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/15 "2006-03-06T02:26:19Z")
Say what you want about the man but me makes great paintings. [Triumph the Insult Comic Dog]For me to poop on.[/Triumph] ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/16 "2006-03-06T03:43:32Z")
> [@elelle](#): > > Oh, man, **Sausage Creature** , thank you so much for that link to the Painter of Blight parodies on Something Awful. I’ve had a long weekend of work, and that made me belly laugh, still gut chuckling… > > Especially the Ostrich and Bob Ross screaming. Lovely! I miss Bob Ross. That man was cool, I don’t care how trite his paintings were. Maybe because unlike Kinkade, he was just totally relaxed and unpretentious. “Happy little trees!” ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/17 "2006-03-06T04:43:01Z")
I wonder if he is related to Rubin Kinkade? ---
**Author:** ![Plynck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Plynck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plynck)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/18 "2006-03-06T05:11:12Z")
I’d always dismissed him as a purveyor of kitsch art, but pissing on Winnie The Pooh or shouting “Codpiece” at Siegfried & Roy? That’s _performance_ art, man! ---
**Author:** ![Capa84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8edcca/32.png) [@Capa84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capa84)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/19 "2006-03-06T07:09:56Z")
One of the “investigative” TV mags did a story about the Kincaid paintings…he never actually paints most of them…he has a team of artists that do, and he might go by and make one stroke with a brush on each. Some of the works he actually does paint completely, and those sell for much much more. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/20 "2006-03-06T07:15:31Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I miss Bob Ross. That man was cool, I don’t care how trite his paintings were. Maybe because unlike Kinkade, he was just totally relaxed and unpretentious. “Happy little trees!” Kinkaid = Happy to sell you crap paintings so he feels better. Ross = Happy to show you how to paint so _you_ feel better. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202.md?page=2)