# Thomas Kinkade...Urinator of Light. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 6, 2006, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202 "2006-03-06T00:58:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/81 "2010-09-11T02:18:31Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Draw a portrait of me. Right now I look like this: :rolleyes: It’s times like this that I regret being a mod, other wise I could say, “Here you go:” and link to goatse. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/82 "2010-09-11T02:29:35Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > I am an artist. A real one. I don’t do anything obscene or even controversial, and people like to have my work hanging on their walls. But my paintings take a long time to create, and i’m basically working for less than minimum wage. I wish I could get 1/10 of a percent of what Kinkade gets for his dreck. Keep painting. Maybe find a style that you can do in less time (or sell your stuff for ten times as much… maybe in a NYC gallery where they nibble Euro-Cheeses while they Ooooh over your work). AND, when you do that painting of Mr. R. Rover, be sure to charge him at your new “Soho gallery” rates. We all witnessed him commissioning you. ---
**Author:** ![DMC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dmc/32/18049_2.png) [@DMC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMC)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/83 "2010-09-11T04:21:41Z")
> [@Spavined\_Gelding](#): > > Parish’s problem was just the opposite of Rockwell’s. He was doing something new that the old stogies in the fine arts biz didn’t care for or understand. They could accept representation, even impressionist representation, but things like the Nude Descending the Staircase in the 1913 Armory Exhibition, and Parish’s design and electric colors just drove them nuts. I think you might be referring to Duchamp. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/84 "2010-09-11T04:33:59Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Pollack is fucking _amazing_. Fucking amazing. There are few painters than move me as much as him. I hear you. I got to see a couple of his major works at the San Francisco MOMA a couple of years ago (as part of a show, not in their permanent collection) and I was just enthralled. I could get lost in those for hours. Absolutely breathtaking stuff. ---
**Author:** ![BayouHazard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BayouHazard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BayouHazard)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/85 "2010-09-11T04:39:45Z")
> [@Ike\_Witt](#): > > Would Kinkade paint a landscape with zombies? No, but _I would._ In fact, that’s the only way I would ever paint a landscape that treacly-if I intended to put some zombies gnawing on the severed body parts of angelic kiddoes… Or maybe the Norman Rockwell family, all grown with yellow, crusty tumors and extra limbs… Or a cockroach family harvesting the grain… I lack the technical skill of Kinkade. If I had the technical skill of Kinkade, I would do something far more _interesting_. Probably deeply disturbing. But you wouldn’t feel all saccharine afterwards, now would you, children?😃 I had never heard of the man before…but I loaded some images of his stuff-and feel like I ought to have my blood sugar checked. YUK. ---
**Author:** ![user\_hostile](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/user_hostile/32/474_2.png) [@user\_hostile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/user_hostile)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/86 "2010-09-11T05:12:06Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > [Oh good god!](http://www.watsonswildlife.com/patriotic_art.htm) Too bad he didn’t include Obama sitting by Wilson. Somebody would be singing the [true blues](http://www.watsonswildlife.com/True_Blues_by_Andy_Thomas.htm). ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Mondegreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/91b2a8/32.png) [@Lord\_Mondegreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Mondegreen)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/87 "2010-09-11T05:43:19Z")
Thomas Kinkade: Painter of Shite[sup]TM[/sup]. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/88 "2010-09-11T06:39:07Z")
> [@Peeta\_Mellark](#): > > So a thread can be resurrected even if it’s four and a half years old? I have no idea how I got into this thread. I thought I came across it in one of the forum lists (which would be new threads), but it must have been a link in some other thread. I admit I didn’t even look at the date when I posted. Sorry about that! Bashing Kinkade, however, is ALWAYS timely! ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/89 "2010-09-11T08:31:06Z")
> [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](#): > > I have no idea how I got into this thread. I thought I came across it in one of the forum lists (which would be new threads), but it must have been a link in some other thread. I admit I didn’t even look at the date when I posted. Sorry about that! Don’t worry about it. You didn’t bump the thread after four years, a spammer did. We removed his posts, but left the thread open, because as you say: > [@](#): > > Bashing Kinkade, however, is ALWAYS timely! ---
**Author:** ![Kilmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a6a055/32.png) [@Kilmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilmore)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/90 "2010-09-11T13:36:26Z")
For what it’s worth, Thomas Kinkade was once a background painter for Frank Frazetta’s “Fire and Ice” animated movie. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/91 "2010-09-11T17:46:00Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > > [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > > > Draw a portrait of me. Right now I look like this: :rolleyes: > > It’s times like this that I regret being a mod, other wise I could say, “Here you go:” and link to goatse. Can I do it? 😛 I’m a big fan of [Alphonse Mucha](http://www.muchafoundation.org/MHome.aspx) myself. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/92 "2010-09-11T19:01:58Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > [Oh good god!](http://www.watsonswildlife.com/patriotic_art.htm) I love _The Patriot_. And all the other eagle-themed ones too but that one takes the cake; it’s as if he thinks actual bald eagles actually love this country or something. (In reality, dude, they’re flying around and pooping on Mt. Rushmore, because, you know, _they’re birds._) Colbert needs to put some of this guy’s artwork on his set; it’d be pitch-perfect. ---
**Author:** ![BayouHazard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BayouHazard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BayouHazard)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/93 "2010-09-11T19:15:48Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I’m a big fan of [Alphonse Mucha](http://www.muchafoundation.org/MHome.aspx) myself. Mucha…hadn’t heard of him…but he’s not overly sugary. Sentimental, yes. Nowhere near the dreadfulness of Kinkade, though. He has solemnity. ---
**Author:** ![Walmarticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Walmarticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walmarticus)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/94 "2010-09-11T19:17:56Z")
My favorite is Gifts of Freedom. It reminds us that we must remain patriotic, even while turkey hunting, because the spirit of Merica is everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/95 "2010-09-12T07:51:15Z")
> [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](#): > > > [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > > > There was a really excellent blog - written by an evangelical Christian, actually - that took great pains to go through the first Left Behind novel chapter by chapter, explaining precisely _why_ it was so excruciatingly badly written. I’ll try to dig up the link. > > [Slacktivist](http://www.slacktivist.typepad.com/). [This](http://exharpazo.blogspot.com/2007/01/index-to-slactivists-left-behind.html)is the best way to start out at the beginning, and get your bearings. He’s still at it, having done the movie and started on the second book. Love, love, love Fred Clark. Oh, God, I love this. Will come back later and read more. ---
**Author:** ![constanze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@constanze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/constanze)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/96 "2010-09-12T17:37:00Z")
> [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > There was a really excellent blog - written by an evangelical Christian, actually - that took great pains to go through the first Left Behind novel chapter by chapter, explaining precisely _why_ it was so excruciatingly badly written. I’ll try to dig up the link. I bet you mean Fred Clark of [slacktivist](http://slacktivist.typepad.com), right? He’s made a break for August, but usually there’s one Left Behind article each week (used to Friday, now Monday). There’s also a link to all Left Behind articles consolidated - but warning: once you start reading, you might get captured, and it takes a long time to read all! ---
**Author:** ![Uncle\_Jocko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uncle_jocko/32/2932_2.png) [@Uncle\_Jocko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncle_Jocko)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/97 "2010-09-12T18:14:40Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > [Oh good god!](http://www.watsonswildlife.com/patriotic_art.htm) What I love about these, if you read the descriptions, is that he’s changed Ronald Reagan’s name. He’s apparently now “The Great Ronald Reagan.” Perhaps appearing at a Ringling Bros./Barnum & Bailey show near you. ---
**Author:** ![Swords\_to\_Plowshares](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Swords\_to\_Plowshares](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swords_to_Plowshares)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/98 "2010-09-12T18:28:12Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > [QUOTE=asterion] > Having read one of the _Left Behind_ novels (it was a class assignment), I’ve decided that comparing LaHaye and Jenkins to Clancy is an insult to Clancy. That’s how badly-written these books are. No, not LaHaye and Jenkins. There’s another writer who is called “The Christian Tom Clancy”… I’ll look for his name tomorrow when I go back into the stacks. [/QUOTE] Frank Peretti, probably. ---
**Author:** ![thirdname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@thirdname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdname)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/99 "2010-09-12T19:15:04Z")
> [@Walmarticus](#): > > My favorite is Gifts of Freedom. It reminds us that we must remain patriotic, even while turkey hunting, because the spirit of Merica is everywhere. [Get down! The turkey’s got a gun!](http://www.watsonswildlife.com/jack_paluh/Gifts_Of_Freedom_Jack_Paluh.htm) ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/100 "2010-09-13T03:23:33Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > …the same crowd who loves the never-ending series of \*Left Behind \* novels and whichever writer is billed as “The Christian Tom Clancy” goes coo-coo for them. Hmmm… I think I’ve got a new scam–uh, I mean, a calling from God. I’ll pick a B-list writer and become _ **The Christian One** _! And, bonus, no one expects “The Christian Tom Clancy” to be as good as “The Original Tom Clancy Who For All We Know Might Be A Christian But Doesn’t Let It Mess Up His Books”. C’mon, I could write some moody fiction and throw in a telepathic golden retreiv-- no, I’d make it a poodle-- and be _ **The Christian Dean Koontz** _. Or I could take an innocent Everyman and suddenly throw him into an Evil Plot By Rich Bad Guys and be _ **The Christian Dick Francis** _. _(Oh, and my Everyman is somehow always connected to horseracing: if he’s an artist, he paints horse portraits; if a hair stylist, he does manes; and if he’s a proctologist, he specializes in …a horse’s ass)_ Hey, I’m pissed about the rape of the Florida eco-system. Let’s unleash some Vengeance Of The Lord on those perps. _And_ I know lots of quirky-yet-flawed characters. I could be _ **The Christian Carl Hiassen** _. Now, this may not always work. Stylistically, it might be a challenge to be _ **The Christian Hunter S. Thompson** _, but I’m willing to try. I already am _ **The Christian James Thurber** _, but only in my moleskine (and I doubt any reputable publisher will ever see it ) … [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202.md?page=6)