# Thomas Kinkade...Urinator of Light. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 6, 2006, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202 "2006-03-06T00:58:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/101 "2010-09-13T03:47:34Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Hmmm… I think I’ve got a new scam–uh, I mean, a calling from God. I’ll pick a B-list writer and become _ **The Christian One** _! > > And, bonus, no one expects “The Christian Tom Clancy” to be as good as “The Original Tom Clancy Who For All We Know Might Be A Christian But Doesn’t Let It Mess Up His Books”. This works in music too. ---
**Author:** ![Algher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Algher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algher)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/102 "2010-09-14T20:15:55Z")
[QUOTE=digs] Now, this may not always work. Stylistically, it might be a challenge to be _ **The Christian Hunter S. Thompson** _, but I’m willing to try. [/QUOTE] _We had two different Concordances, seventy Jack Chick pamphlets, five Left Behind novels and a collection of Christian metal music from the 80s. The only thing that worried me was the Christian metal. There is nothing in the world more damaging and threatening to your faith than having your copilot singing at the top of his lungs along to Stryper at 2:00 AM on the way to Vegas for a revival, and I knew that Brother Jim would flip to that playlist on his iPod sooner rather than later._ ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/103 "2010-09-14T20:26:05Z")
Nice. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/104 "2010-09-14T20:41:35Z")
> [@Peeta\_Mellark](#): > > That would be because that linky is from when I was still in high school. Jesus, this is an old thread. You were in high school in 2006? Get off my lawn! Hey! Pull up your pants! Don’t do that on my lawn! You’ll [kill the grass](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/408/is-it-ok-if-i-let-my-dog-pee-all-over-somebody-elses-shrubbery)! Who do you think you are, Thomas Kincade? My parents were helping us put up pictures in our house last week. They told me that, when they die, I will inherit some Thomas Kincade pictures from them. I managed to keep my mouth shut and my last meal down, somehow. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2010, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/105 "2010-09-21T04:57:27Z")
> [@Algher](#): > > [QUOTE=digs] > > Now, this may not always work. Stylistically, it might be a challenge to be _ **The Christian Hunter S. Thompson** _, but I’m willing to try. _We had two different Concordances, seventy Jack Chick pamphlets, five Left Behind novels and a collection of Christian metal music from the 80s. The only thing that worried me was the Christian metal. There is nothing in the world more damaging and threatening to your faith than having your copilot singing at the top of his lungs along to Stryper at 2:00 AM on the way to Vegas for a revival, and I knew that Brother Jim would flip to that playlist on his iPod sooner rather than later._ [/QUOTE] I read this, taking it at face value, and was wondering _what_ your bizarre Vegas trip had to do with this thread… _wait, Vegas trip? As in “Fear and Loathing In \_\_\_”?_ And I flashed on the first paragraph where HST describes all the drugs they had in the car and _Ohhhh, yeahhhh… I see what you’re doing!_ Well played. [g o l f c l a p] In fact, if _you_ want to write the first Christian Hunter S. Thompson novel, go ahead. I’ve got a good start on “Fear and Loathing On Golgotha”, but I really don’t need the annoyances of Oprah and Regis (and those paparazzi!) all trying to get at me. ---
**Author:** ![Algher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Algher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algher)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2010, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/106 "2010-09-21T17:08:05Z")
> [@digs](#): > > > [@Algher](#): > > > > _We had two different Concordances, seventy Jack Chick pamphlets, five Left Behind novels and a collection of Christian metal music from the 80s. The only thing that worried me was the Christian metal. There is nothing in the world more damaging and threatening to your faith than having your copilot singing at the top of his lungs along to Stryper at 2:00 AM on the way to Vegas for a revival, and I knew that Brother Jim would flip to that playlist on his iPod sooner rather than later._ > > I read this, taking it at face value, and was wondering _what_ your bizarre Vegas trip had to do with this thread… _wait, Vegas trip? As in “Fear and Loathing In \_\_\_”?_ And I flashed on the first paragraph where HST describes all the drugs they had in the car and _Ohhhh, yeahhhh… I see what you’re doing!_ > > Well played. [g o l f c l a p] > > In fact, if _you_ want to write the first Christian Hunter S. Thompson novel, go ahead. I’ve got a good start on “Fear and Loathing On Golgotha”, but I really don’t need the annoyances of Oprah and Regis (and those paparazzi!) all trying to get at me. As someone with one bookshelf full of different Bibles, Biblical research books, books of faith for other religions (LDS, Buddha, Koran) AND a shelf of Thompson’s work - I might be able to pull it off. I admit to being VERY tempted to take my own life journey, alter it enough to protect the guilty (those with my on the trip) and the innocent (my family), and publish my own novel of Fear and Loathing on the Twisted Trail to Salvation. Seriously. I just don’t know if I will ever finish it. If so, I promise to ensure that there are appropriate Doper references in there. I can think through the chapters, the hard work will be ensuring I keep my privacy. The GOOD book I might write would have facts in it I have NO desire to ever have attached to me (or for my sons to answer to either). ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2010, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/107 "2010-09-22T05:05:48Z")
> [@Algher](#): > > > [@digs](#): > > > > I read this, taking it at face value, and was wondering _what_ your bizarre Vegas trip had to do with this thread… _wait, Vegas trip? As in “Fear and Loathing In \_\_\_”?_ And I flashed on the first paragraph where HST describes all the drugs they had in the car and _Ohhhh, yeahhhh… I see what you’re doing!_ > > > > Well played. [g o l f c l a p] > > > > In fact, if _you_ want to write the first Christian Hunter S. Thompson novel, go ahead. I’ve got a good start on “Fear and Loathing On Golgotha”, but I really don’t need the annoyances of Oprah and Regis (and those paparazzi!) all trying to get at me. > > As someone with one bookshelf full of different Bibles, Biblical research books, books of faith for other religions (LDS, Buddha, Koran) AND a shelf of Thompson’s work - I might be able to pull it off. > > I admit to being VERY tempted to take my own life journey, alter it enough to protect the guilty (those with my on the trip) and the innocent (my family), and publish my own novel of Fear and Loathing on the Twisted Trail to Salvation. > > Seriously. > > I just don’t know if I will ever finish it. If so, I promise to ensure that there are appropriate Doper references in there. I can think through the chapters, the hard work will be ensuring I keep my privacy. The GOOD book I might write would have facts in it I have NO desire to ever have attached to me (or for my sons to answer to either). Serious advice: write the truth. Now. Before you get too busy (or too flat … under a random streetcar’s tires). And when you’re all done with a rough draft, get advice, do some soul-searching… _then_ go back and obscure the facts you want to. Hmmm… maybe just search and replace “heroin” with “Twizzlers”, “hooker” with “reference librarian”, and “Testor’s enamel in a ziplock bag” with "Glade Aromatherapy Plug-Ins ". And “Doper references” would save you some work… Chapter Three would only be two words long. Seriously, stop reading this and start writing. ---
**Author:** ![Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harvey_The_Heavy)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2010, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/108 "2010-09-26T13:00:27Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > [Oh good god!](http://www.watsonswildlife.com/patriotic_art.htm) Good god, indeed. And the patriotic paintings are only the beginning. Here you can see some of the inevitable [Kinkade knockoffs.](http://www.watsonswildlife.com/browsecountry.htm) Here’s one that will [liven up](http://www.watsonswildlife.com/schmehl/the_grim_harvest_of_war_BS.htm) any room. Why is Stonewall Jackson wearing a [Union uniform](http://www.watsonswildlife.com/schmehl/Jackson_His_Disciples_BS.htm)? No wonder he got his arm shot off. And don’t [cardinals](http://www.watsonswildlife.com/resting_place.htm) fly south [for the winter](http://www.watsonswildlife.com/home_for_the_holidays.htm)? ---
**Author:** ![Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harvey_The_Heavy)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2010, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/109 "2010-09-26T13:07:30Z")
Missed the edit window…I guess [they don’t.](http://www.smartstreet.org/clients/105-6/images/Male-Cardinal.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2010, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/110 "2010-09-26T13:31:43Z")
Jackson wore his old blue unform at the start fo the war, and really didn’t care one way or the other until the Confederates pitched in and bought him a gray one. Before the war, regular army uniforms were blue, and state militia gray. The Confederates had more gray-uniformed troops because after Harpers Ferry they’d formed militias in anticipation of war. But in the early years of the war, New Hampshire and New York sent in regiments in gray, Georgia in blue. (IMHO, by the way, The Iraq War doesn’t need its Thomas Kinkade, it needs its [Otto Dix](http://arsrhetorica.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/stormtroops_advancing_under_gas_etching_and_aquatint_by_otto_dix_1924.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![pikey\_pete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pikey\_pete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pikey_pete)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2010, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/111 "2010-09-26T17:37:40Z")
Thomas Kinkade is to art as McDonalds is to health food and political parties are to cooperation ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2010, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202/112 "2010-09-26T20:06:35Z")
> [@Harvey\_The\_Heavy](#): > > And don’t [cardinals](http://www.watsonswildlife.com/resting_place.htm) fly south [for the winter](http://www.watsonswildlife.com/home_for_the_holidays.htm)? [Not normally; no.](http://ibc.lynxeds.com/photo/northern-cardinal-cardinalis-cardinalis/northern-cardinal-abundant-across-eastern-united-state) They’re not a migratory species. Though they do go to Florida for Spring Training. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thomas-kinkade-urinator-of-light/347202.md?page=5)