It’s times like this that I regret being a mod, other wise I could say, “Here you go:” and link to goatse.
Keep painting. Maybe find a style that you can do in less time (or sell your stuff for ten times as much… maybe in a NYC gallery where they nibble Euro-Cheeses while they Ooooh over your work).
AND, when you do that painting of Mr. R. Rover, be sure to charge him at your new “Soho gallery” rates. We all witnessed him commissioning you.
I think you might be referring to Duchamp.
I hear you. I got to see a couple of his major works at the San Francisco MOMA a couple of years ago (as part of a show, not in their permanent collection) and I was just enthralled. I could get lost in those for hours. Absolutely breathtaking stuff.
No, but I would. In fact, that’s the only way I would ever paint a landscape that treacly-if I intended to put some zombies gnawing on the severed body parts of angelic kiddoes…
Or maybe the Norman Rockwell family, all grown with yellow, crusty tumors and extra limbs…
Or a cockroach family harvesting the grain…
I lack the technical skill of Kinkade. If I had the technical skill of Kinkade, I would do something far more interesting. Probably deeply disturbing. But you wouldn’t feel all saccharine afterwards, now would you, children?
I had never heard of the man before…but I loaded some images of his stuff-and feel like I ought to have my blood sugar checked. YUK.
Too bad he didn’t include Obama sitting by Wilson. Somebody would be singing the true blues.
Thomas Kinkade: Painter of Shite[sup]TM[/sup].
I have no idea how I got into this thread. I thought I came across it in one of the forum lists (which would be new threads), but it must have been a link in some other thread. I admit I didn’t even look at the date when I posted. Sorry about that!
Bashing Kinkade, however, is ALWAYS timely!
Don’t worry about it. You didn’t bump the thread after four years, a spammer did. We removed his posts, but left the thread open, because as you say:
For what it’s worth, Thomas Kinkade was once a background painter for Frank Frazetta’s “Fire and Ice” animated movie.
Can I do it? 
I’m a big fan of Alphonse Mucha myself.
I love The Patriot. And all the other eagle-themed ones too but that one takes the cake; it’s as if he thinks actual bald eagles actually love this country or something. (In reality, dude, they’re flying around and pooping on Mt. Rushmore, because, you know, they’re birds.) Colbert needs to put some of this guy’s artwork on his set; it’d be pitch-perfect.
Mucha…hadn’t heard of him…but he’s not overly sugary. Sentimental, yes. Nowhere near the dreadfulness of Kinkade, though. He has solemnity.
My favorite is Gifts of Freedom. It reminds us that we must remain patriotic, even while turkey hunting, because the spirit of Merica is everywhere.
Oh, God, I love this. Will come back later and read more.
I bet you mean Fred Clark of slacktivist, right? He’s made a break for August, but usually there’s one Left Behind article each week (used to Friday, now Monday).
There’s also a link to all Left Behind articles consolidated - but warning: once you start reading, you might get captured, and it takes a long time to read all!
What I love about these, if you read the descriptions, is that he’s changed Ronald Reagan’s name.
He’s apparently now “The Great Ronald Reagan.” Perhaps appearing at a Ringling Bros./Barnum & Bailey show near you.
Frank Peretti, probably.
Hmmm… I think I’ve got a new scam–uh, I mean, a calling from God. I’ll pick a B-list writer and become The Christian One!
And, bonus, no one expects “The Christian Tom Clancy” to be as good as “The Original Tom Clancy Who For All We Know Might Be A Christian But Doesn’t Let It Mess Up His Books”.
C’mon, I could write some moody fiction and throw in a telepathic golden retreiv-- no, I’d make it a poodle-- and be The Christian Dean Koontz.
Or I could take an innocent Everyman and suddenly throw him into an Evil Plot By Rich Bad Guys and be The Christian Dick Francis.
(Oh, and my Everyman is somehow always connected to horseracing: if he’s an artist, he paints horse portraits; if a hair stylist, he does manes; and if he’s a proctologist, he specializes in …a horse’s ass)
Hey, I’m pissed about the rape of the Florida eco-system. Let’s unleash some Vengeance Of The Lord on those perps. And I know lots of quirky-yet-flawed characters. I could be The Christian Carl Hiassen.
Now, this may not always work. Stylistically, it might be a challenge to be The Christian Hunter S. Thompson, but I’m willing to try.
I already am The Christian James Thurber, but only in my moleskine (and I doubt any reputable publisher will ever see it ) …