# Those "almost" beards **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 16, 2003, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-almost-beards/202003 "2003-09-16T20:40:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-almost-beards/202003/1 "2003-09-16T20:40:33Z")
This is too lame for the pit, so I’ll keep it clean. You know those 5-day whisker growths that aren’t really beards? You see those on almost every Youth Oriented Commerical. To me they look so fuc…I mean so gosh-darn stupid. Like that goofy guy in the cat allergy commercial. Do you know any REAL people who go for that look? And if so, do you laugh at them? I always yell at the TV “Either grow a beard, or don’t!” But then, you knew I was master of the well-seasoned _bon mot._ ---
**Author:** ![Waenara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@Waenara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waenara)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-almost-beards/202003/2 "2003-09-16T21:09:57Z")
I noticed this when a friend dragged me along to watch “The Order” last week. Heath Ledger was sporting on of those “not-quite-a-beard-from-a-distance-it-looks-like-his-face-is-dirty” beards. [Link](http://www.imdb.com/gallery/ss/0304711/Ss/0304711/SE-119.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Ledger,%20Heath) and [link](http://www.imdb.com/gallery/ss/0304711/Ss/0304711/SE-140.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Ledger,%20Heath) ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-almost-beards/202003/3 "2003-09-16T21:19:37Z")
I think it’s sexy. Always wished I had the capacity to grow one, but mine is so sparse it just doesn’t look right; I have to be clean-shaven or go for actual growth. ---
**Author:** ![Thizzlewit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8797f3/32.png) [@Thizzlewit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thizzlewit)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-almost-beards/202003/4 "2003-09-16T21:19:45Z")
I go for that look, but only because I’m frighteningly clumsy with a razor. An almost-beard is infinitely preferable to an almost-face, and I figure if I only shave once every week or two, I have less chance of cutting it off. 😃 (my _face_, that is) ---
**Author:** ![greck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ab992/32.png) [@greck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greck)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-almost-beards/202003/5 "2003-09-16T21:38:13Z")
How do these differ from the Miami Vice style growth? ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-almost-beards/202003/6 "2003-09-16T22:42:58Z")
Hey !! Don’t talk about **bouv** like that !!! ---
**Author:** ![luluBahrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e5b9ba/32.png) [@luluBahrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/luluBahrain)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-almost-beards/202003/7 "2003-09-16T22:46:48Z")
I loooooooooooove almost beards. Well , on the right face. So very , very, very sexy! ---
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-almost-beards/202003/8 "2003-09-16T22:52:47Z")
I have one…for me, it’s just a result of pure laziness. I would have a full beard or something like it except it’s not allowed where i work (but I only work on weekends, so i only shave 3 days a week) ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-almost-beards/202003/9 "2003-09-16T23:09:19Z")
Sexy!!! Are you nuts! I want to get in a time machine and smack Don Johnson for popularizing it. I mentioned this just last [week](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=209124&highlight=Cower). ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-almost-beards/202003/10 "2003-09-16T23:21:08Z")
When Miami Vice was a big deal, the Wahl clipper people put out something called The Miami deVice. It was a beard trimmer that would give you a uniform too-lazy-to-shave look. ---
**Author:** ![Lyllyan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@Lyllyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lyllyan)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-almost-beards/202003/11 "2003-09-16T23:55:48Z")
The “almost” beards don’t bother me too much. But those goat beards! OMG, I hate those things. No offense to any goatmen of the SDMB ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2003, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-almost-beards/202003/12 "2003-09-17T00:09:30Z")
All beards = gross. You look either too poor to afford a 13 cent razor or too lazy to differentiate yourself from a bum or escaped convict. Of course I don’t think people should wear jeans outside the house for similar reasons, so take that into consideration. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2003, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-almost-beards/202003/13 "2003-09-17T00:14:35Z")
I am currently sporting a large bushy beard that I am growing for a Victorian theme weekend in two wees’ time - I can’t wait to shave the damn thing off - it isn’t the itching, it is the inconvenience of eating something, then finding that wiping my mouth only rubs food into it, and anything that I drink without a straw ‘wicks’ up my moustache and arouns the sides to run down my chin. Oh, and my family won’t let me anywhere near them… ---
**Author:** ![luluBahrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e5b9ba/32.png) [@luluBahrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/luluBahrain)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2003, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-almost-beards/202003/14 "2003-09-17T00:22:23Z")
I stand by the sexy comment. ---
**Author:** ![Palewriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/db5fbb/32.png) [@Palewriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palewriter)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2003, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-almost-beards/202003/15 "2003-09-17T03:40:58Z")
Over the years, I’ve had a full beard, no beard, an almost beard, a moustache (trimmed), a moustache (untrimmed), long sideburns (back in the 70s), no sideburns, StevieRay lower-lip fuzz, you name it. Bottom line? Clean-shaven is best, hands down. Unkempt facial hair is great on homeless people or intrepid sea captains or boys who have no other way to make themselves interesting. These days, the sight of a stringy goatee or a whispy almost-moustache makes me want to reach for a handy Wahls .45 and shave that sucker off. - PW grumpy old fuck 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2003, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-almost-beards/202003/16 "2003-09-17T04:08:46Z")
I wear one almost constantly since A) I dislike the feel of my face clean shaven and B) I’m too lazy to shave anyway and I can’t actually grow a full beard. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2003, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-almost-beards/202003/17 "2003-09-17T04:36:52Z")
I am cursed with an almost-beard. I get it from my father, who also has an almost-beard. I wished I could grow a full beard; anything more than a pseudo goatee looks like a joke. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![teleute12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@teleute12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teleute12)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2003, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-almost-beards/202003/18 "2003-09-17T08:22:52Z")
I think they’re kinda hot, actually. ---
**Author:** ![green\_bladder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@green\_bladder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_bladder)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2003, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-almost-beards/202003/19 "2003-09-17T09:39:53Z")
Are we talking about full-on 5 o’ clock shadows? Or guys who can’t grow a beard but they still wanna try? I can grow a full beard (…in about three weeks. I haven’t tried it, but I’ve got an insane facial growth for my age so I know it’s possible) but I give myself a clean shave about two or three times a week so there’ll be days where you’ll find me sporting a 5 o’ clock shadow. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2003, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-almost-beards/202003/20 "2003-09-17T10:25:39Z")
I don’t like the scruffy maybe-I’ll-shave-tomorrow look. I love a well-groomed beard. If I was queen of the world, the rule would be: Grow it right or shave, dagnabbit! If I was queen… 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-almost-beards/202003.md?page=2)