# Those wacky plurals! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 16, 2005, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-wacky-plurals/317331 "2005-08-16T21:44:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-wacky-plurals/317331/1 "2005-08-16T21:44:43Z")
As you all know, our ancient and beloved English language is filled with plurals from by-gone years and other languages that simply do not follow the “tack an s on the end” rule that normal plurals do. For example, the plural of “mouse” is “mice,” the plural of “ox” is “oxen,” the plural of “index” is “indices,” the plural of “foot” is “feet,” the plural of “woman” is “women” – et cetera. (Which, by the way, is the plural of “et ceterum.”) But in my not-so-humble opinion, this list of oddball plurals is too small and sporadic. It doesn’t go nearly far enough. I propose that our language should be spiced up with **more** of these oddball plurals. In fact, I’ve made up a partial list. Here are some of the the words that, as any sane and rational person would obviously agree, should have better plurals: ```auto This word in the singular ...should be pluralized as: ------------------------- --------------------------- blouse blice house hice ouse ice ax axen fax faxen light bulb light bulbim span spen pan pen motor bus motor bi boot beet Kleenex Kleenices Spandex Spandices asylum asyla drum dra bum ba bra brae airplane throat-warbler mangrove ``` Note: not all of these are original. I am not the only one who has Seen The Light when it comes to the need for better plurals in English. Spread the word, pilgrims! ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-wacky-plurals/317331/2 "2005-08-17T02:14:36Z")
I’m all for it. And while we’re at it, I want inflections on the nouns, too, like Anglo Saxon and Old Norse. ---
**Author:** ![soulmurk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@soulmurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulmurk)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-wacky-plurals/317331/3 "2005-08-17T02:27:29Z")
The plural of penis should be penii. ---
**Author:** ![ErinPuff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dbc845/32.png) [@ErinPuff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ErinPuff)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-wacky-plurals/317331/4 "2005-08-17T02:47:35Z")
I said “dominatrices” in casual conversation once. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-wacky-plurals/317331/5 "2005-08-17T04:34:14Z")
> [@soulmurk](#): > > The plural of penis should be penii. Actually I think it should be penes. ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-wacky-plurals/317331/6 "2005-08-17T04:45:27Z")
I agree. “Penes ensue” just sounds better than “Penii ensue.” ---
**Author:** ![Ultraviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/c77e96/32.png) [@Ultraviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ultraviolet)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-wacky-plurals/317331/7 "2005-08-17T04:51:15Z")
> [@Spatial Rift 47](#): > > I agree. “Penes ensue” just sounds better than “Penii ensue.” But how would you pronounce it? “Pee-knees” sounds silly. Pen-nays? ---
**Author:** ![soulmurk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@soulmurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulmurk)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-wacky-plurals/317331/8 "2005-08-17T05:10:57Z")
> [@Spatial Rift 47](#): > > I agree. “Penes ensue” just sounds better than “Penii ensue.” Penes ensue is well and good, but you’re overlooking gems like “the radii of the penii were the foci of her eye” ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-wacky-plurals/317331/9 "2005-08-17T08:25:25Z")
> [@tracer](#): > > As you all know, our ancient and beloved English language is filled with plurals from by-gone years and other languages that simply do not follow the “tack an s on the end” rule that normal plurals do. For example, the plural of “mouse” is “mice,” the plural of “ox” is “oxen,” the plural of “index” is “indices,” the plural of “foot” is “feet,” the plural of “woman” is “women” – et cetera. (Which, by the way, is the plural of “et ceterum.”) > > But in my not-so-humble opinion, this list of oddball plurals is too small and sporadic. It doesn’t go nearly far enough. I propose that our language should be spiced up with **more** of these oddball plurals. > > In fact, I’ve made up a partial list. Here are some of the the words that, as any sane and rational person would obviously agree, should have better plurals: > > ```auto > > This word in the singular ...should be pluralized as: > ------------------------- --------------------------- > blouse blice > house hice > ouse ice > ax axen > fax faxen > light bulb light bulbim > span spen > pan pen > motor bus motor bi > boot beet > Kleenex Kleenices > Spandex Spandices > asylum asyla > drum dra > bum ba > bra brae > airplane throat-warbler mangrove > > ``` > > Note: not all of these are original. I am not the only one who has Seen The Light when it comes to the need for better plurals in English. Spread the word, pilgrims! Correction light bulb = light bulben ice = eek ---
**Author:** ![cantara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6f9a4e/32.png) [@cantara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cantara)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-wacky-plurals/317331/10 "2005-08-17T14:00:57Z")
…2 jacki The great thing about Shelly Berman was the way he wove his observations into the stories he was telling. So many of todays comics would try it as a stand alone ‘bit’. Can we turn this into a Shelly Berman appreciation thread? I was introduced to him as a 12 year old when my parents gave me a bunch of comedy records they had found at a garage sale (or from friends or something). I only wish that Bob Newhart records had also been included…although the Stan Freberg and Nichols and May were also a breath of fresh air. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-wacky-plurals/317331/11 "2005-08-17T14:51:53Z")
So if the plural of “index” is “indices” and of “apex” is “apices” and “axis” is “axes”, then should the plural of “ibex” be “ibices”? If you have two friends named “Alex” do they undergo a sex change and becomes “Alices”? I like the old TV commercia that made the plural of “Stewardess” into “stewardi”. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-wacky-plurals/317331/12 "2005-08-17T17:42:55Z")
> [@Spatial Rift 47](#): > > I agree. “Penes ensue” just sounds better than “Penii ensue.” If they’re circumcised, would they be “penisim”? (Ha ha, a little crude ethnic humor there. Okay, I’ll shut up now.) ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-wacky-plurals/317331/13 "2005-08-17T17:59:42Z")
First they suggested I start referring to blouses as _blice_ and I did not speak out because I wear shirts. Then they told me motor buses will now be know as _motor bi_, and again I did nothing because I drive a car. Then they told me we were converting to the metric system and I had to start buying 45x90mm studs to build _hice_ - and I got really pissed off! ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-wacky-plurals/317331/14 "2005-08-17T18:17:43Z")
If we converted to two of them, would they be the “metric systa”? ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-wacky-plurals/317331/15 "2005-08-17T18:22:33Z")
the plural of data should be datas… oh… :smack: 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-wacky-plurals/317331/16 "2005-08-17T19:20:07Z")
I’m sure some of these variations exist in other universibus. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-wacky-plurals/317331/17 "2005-08-17T21:06:56Z")
Also from Shelley Berman: one sheriff, several sheriffim. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-wacky-plurals/317331/18 "2005-08-17T22:16:48Z")
> [@Ultraviolet](#): > > But how would you pronounce it? “Pee-knees” sounds silly. Pen-nays? Latin’s one of those languages–actually probably the only one–that is pronounced radically different depending on whether you’re (a) a priest, or (b) a high school student reciting “Kickero”, or (c) a doctor or lawyer using completely anglicized pronunciation. A doctor would say one “one pee-nis, two pee-knees”. The student would say something roughly like “one pey-nis, two pey-neys”. It’s interesting how little talk we hear of penes in the plural. I guess a penis is one of those things we tend to consider one at a time, never collectively. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-wacky-plurals/317331/19 "2005-08-17T22:36:22Z")
> [@Spectre of Pithecanthropus](#): > > Latin’s one of those languages–actually probably the only one–that is pronounced radically different depending on whether you’re (a) a priest, or (b) a high school student reciting “Kickero”, or © a doctor or lawyer using completely anglicized pronunciation. > > A doctor would say one “one pee-nis, two pee-knees”. The student would say something roughly like “one pey-nis, two pey-neys”. … and the priest would hold his tongue if he valued his job! d&r ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-wacky-plurals/317331/20 "2005-08-17T23:33:37Z")
> [@Spectre of Pithecanthropus](#): > > Latin’s one of those languages–actually probably the only one–that is pronounced radically different . er, that should be radically different **ly**. I’m glad **Eve** ’s not online yet to see that little pecadillo! oh wait, she probably is off work by now… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-wacky-plurals/317331.md?page=2)