# Those warnings on massage oil bottles aren't kidding. TMI **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 28, 2009, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341 "2009-01-28T03:27:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MissIntent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/97f17d/32.png) [@MissIntent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissIntent)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/1 "2009-01-28T03:27:43Z")
So, several months ago, while walking toward the cashier at the grocery store, I pass the personal products display and see a box of 6 sample size KY bottles. “How cute!” I think, “How fun!” I buy them, take them home to boyfriend. When I get home I inspect them closer and am sad to see that actually only one is a personal lubricant, the other 5 are massage oils, some regular, some warming, but all say “Not For Use As Personal Lubricant”. Bummer, but that’s ok, massages are fun. Fast forward to last night… Boyfriend and I hit a party, come home late with him a bit tipsy… Lights off, fooling around… I pause and ask him to grab some lube. He says sure, drunkenly grabs one of the little bottles, pours it into his hands, and rubs it onto me and himself. Approximately a second passes and I’m running naked to the bathroom, yelping in pain. I stand there splashing water on myself for 5 minutes, when I come out he’s going “Aaaaaahhhh my dick is burning!!!” Totally killed the mood. We gave up and went to sleep. I examined the bottle this morning. Apparently he grabbed a bottle of warming massage oil, the one that says “Not For Use As A Personal Lubricant.” They weren’t kidding. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/2 "2009-01-28T03:39:09Z")
Heh, excellent. Another username-thread topic perfect match. I hope you’ve moved the massage oils to a different place now! ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/3 "2009-01-28T04:02:36Z")
Holy crap. I need to check my bottle…hang on… Ok. Mine is the 2-in-1 Warming body massage AND personal lubricant…whew. But the guy said it was a bit ouchy, so we never used it again. Good thing it was a $1 sample bottle… ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/4 "2009-01-28T04:06:24Z")
Also, eucalyptus oil is mildly anesthetic. Massage oil followed by foreplay can often lead to a numb tongue, and numb… other things. Weirdest sensation ever. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/5 "2009-01-28T04:22:59Z")
I burning your dick? ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/6 "2009-01-28T04:25:31Z")
That’s why the pros (Massage Therapists not Whores) often use very neutral massage oils. You never know what will irritate a person’s skin. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/7 "2009-01-28T07:19:10Z")
I once masturbated with baby oil and had sex shortly after with an early girlfriend. Penis ensued and she was in discomfort and pain.She asked me what was different and I confessed to the mineral oil, totally ignorant of the pain that it might cause. I didn’t realize. Stinging was the last I intended. I felt so bad, but learned something… (helll, I was 18.) ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/8 "2009-01-28T07:22:17Z")
Unfortunately, she was more pissed off over the fact that I had masturbated earlier, over the pain. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/9 "2009-01-28T08:29:50Z")
That’s the least of it. Massage oils and condoms don’t mix. Oil breaks down the latex a condom is made of. This is something many people just don’t know, and it has probably casued many unwanted pregnancies. It is after all a quite likely scenario: having foreplay with some massage oil, applying hands with oil on them to a penis, then putting on a condom. Common scenario, but it increses the chance of a broken condom a hundredfold. I really wish Mythbusters would make an item of this. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/10 "2009-01-28T10:40:27Z")
> [@devilsknew](#): > > Unfortunately, she was more pissed off over the fact that I had masturbated earlier, over the pain. You didn’t tell her it was to desensitise yourself so you could spend longer on her and give her more pleasure? ---
**Author:** ![Westrogothia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3ab097/32.png) [@Westrogothia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Westrogothia)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/11 "2009-01-28T12:27:45Z")
Chilipeppers and cunnilingus. It burns us it burnnnnsss. so much for chili and choclate beeing “erotic” food. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/12 "2009-01-28T14:44:10Z")
It doesn’t even have to be during sex. I learned the hard way that I had not sufficiently washed the habaneros off my hands when I went to take a pee and quickly ended up in the shower. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/13 "2009-01-28T15:05:21Z")
[http://itswalky.com/comics/20090124icyhot.gif](http://itswalky.com/comics/20090124icyhot.gif) As it happens… ---
**Author:** ![Solfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Solfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Solfy)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/14 "2009-01-28T15:14:34Z")
> [@kittenblue](#): > > Holy crap. I need to check my bottle…hang on… > > Ok. Mine is the 2-in-1 Warming body massage AND personal lubricant…whew. But the guy said it was a bit ouchy, so we never used it again. Good thing it was a $1 sample bottle.. Yeah, I can’t recommend that stuff. (dubbed “burning lube of death” in our household) ---
**Author:** ![EpicNonsense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c37758/32.png) [@EpicNonsense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EpicNonsense)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/15 "2009-01-28T15:24:08Z")
> [@E-Sabbath](#): > > [http://itswalky.com/comics/20090124icyhot.gif](http://itswalky.com/comics/20090124icyhot.gif) > As it happens… That’s nothing.. [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10377979&postcount=1](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10377979&postcount=1) And I later found I nearly cheated [death](http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/19144600/). Won’t be doing that again. ---
**Author:** ![MissIntent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/97f17d/32.png) [@MissIntent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissIntent)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/16 "2009-01-28T15:42:59Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > That’s the least of it. Massage oils and condoms don’t mix. Oil breaks down the latex a condom is made of. This is something many people just don’t know, and it has probably casued many unwanted pregnancies. It is after all a quite likely scenario: having foreplay with some massage oil, applying hands with oil on them to a penis, then putting on a condom. Common scenario, but it increses the chance of a broken condom a hundredfold. I really wish Mythbusters would make an item of this. Fortunately, I do know that. Oddly enough, the sex ed class I had to take in Florida of all places taught us that much. I educated several friends when I returned to Texas. We’re not using condoms however, so we have the opportunity to use oil if we want… ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/17 "2009-01-28T16:00:52Z")
( OP )Same stuff, similar story. Except she thought it was a hell of an enhancement and I was…well, I was a man about it at the time as she seemed to be enjoying it, but yow! I kept looking down to make sure there weren’t really flames shooting out of the coupling. ---
**Author:** ![Debon\_Err](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ea924/32.png) [@Debon\_Err](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Debon_Err)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/18 "2009-01-28T16:05:30Z")
What can I say? I liked it. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/19 "2009-01-28T16:11:16Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > It doesn’t even have to be during sex. I learned the hard way that I had not sufficiently washed the habaneros off my hands when I went to take a pee and quickly ended up in the shower. Don’t take your contacts out after handling habaneros, either. DAMN that was bad. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/20 "2009-01-28T16:24:55Z")
> [@Duke](#): > > Don’t take your contacts out after handling habaneros, either. DAMN that was bad. Oh I’ve had that experience too. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341.md?page=2)