# Those warnings on massage oil bottles aren't kidding. TMI **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 28, 2009, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341 "2009-01-28T03:27:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Indyellen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/indyellen/32/4176_2.png) [@Indyellen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indyellen)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/21 "2009-01-28T16:25:55Z")
Accidental application of [Tiger Balm](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiger_balm) (red variety) to mucous membranes is no picnic either. :cue fetal position: ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/22 "2009-01-28T16:26:28Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > That’s the least of it. Massage oils and condoms don’t mix. Oil breaks down the latex a condom is made of. This is something many people just don’t know, and it has probably casued many unwanted pregnancies. It is after all a quite likely scenario: having foreplay with some massage oil, applying hands with oil on them to a penis, then putting on a condom. Common scenario, but it increses the chance of a broken condom a hundredfold. I really wish Mythbusters would make an item of this. Yes! It’s shocking how many people still don’t know this, and just assume that if something’s sold by the condoms it’s a-ok. I won’t even keep anything oil-based in my goodie drawer. And anything sugar-based, or that has been coated in anything sugar-based, can’t go near my genitals (that’s basically how thrush and UTIs are made). If every inch of it’s got to be licked off, so be it. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/23 "2009-01-28T16:34:57Z")
Oh, and also, mangoes or highly acidic fruit. Not a great pre-coital snack. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/24 "2009-01-28T16:48:26Z")
> [@MissIntent](#): > > Approximately a second passes and I’m running naked to the bathroom, yelping in pain. **[Johnny Cash]Love is a burning thing[/Johnny Cash]** > [@MissIntent](#): > > I stand there splashing water on myself for 5 minutes… **[Johnny Cash]And it makes a fiery ring[/Johnny Cash]** > [@MissIntent](#): > > …when I come out he’s going “Aaaaaahhhh my dick is burning!!!” **[Johnny Cash]And it burns burns burns…[/Johnny Cash]** Sorry for your experience, but dayum, it made me laugh! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Yamirskoonir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/c0e974/32.png) [@Yamirskoonir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yamirskoonir)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/25 "2009-01-28T20:26:15Z")
Dude, this SO happened to my co-worker, except replace “warming massage oil” with “hand sanitizer.” YEOWCH! Needless to say, she doesn’t keep the sanitizer in the bedroom dresser any longer. ---
**Author:** ![RedWood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f08c70/32.png) [@RedWood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedWood)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/26 "2009-01-28T20:33:21Z")
> [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > **[Johnny Cash]Love is a burning thing…[/Johnny Cash]** I am SO glad I’m not the only one who thought of that! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/27 "2009-01-28T20:41:48Z")
Only a mild hijack: A colleague’s daughter discovered she had a previously unknown latex allergy by calling her mom from the campus health service when she broke out in rashes, in a couple different places. Notably her genitalia and the mucous membranes in and around her mouth. Interestingly, I think that’s also when she found out that her little girl was doing such things. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/28 "2009-01-28T20:51:01Z")
[quote=“1920s Style “Death Ray”, post:10, topic:483341”] You didn’t tell her it was to desensitise yourself so you could spend longer on her and give her more pleasure? [/QUOTE] Now my girlfriend doesn’t want me masturbating at all because she heard about the recent study linking masturbation to prostate cancer. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![MissIntent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/97f17d/32.png) [@MissIntent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissIntent)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/29 "2009-01-28T21:39:38Z")
> [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > Sorry for your experience, but dayum, it made me laugh! 😃 As soon as it stopped hurting, I was laughing too. And then shared it with everyone I knew the next day… ---
**Author:** ![schnuckiputzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecb155/32.png) [@schnuckiputzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/schnuckiputzi)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/30 "2009-01-28T23:50:24Z")
Personally, we like the warming stuff, but the cool sensation stuff feels like my pink girly bits have been numbed with Novocain. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/31 "2009-01-29T00:23:18Z")
> [@Mr Bus Guy](#): > > Only a mild hijack: A colleague’s daughter discovered she had a previously unknown latex allergy by calling her mom from the campus health service when she broke out in rashes, in a couple different places. > > Notably her genitalia and the mucous membranes in and around her mouth. > > Interestingly, I think that’s also when she found out that her little girl was doing such things. I’d be \*thrilled \*that my daughter (well, or my son, I suppose) was using condoms for oral sex! I have to admit, I’m a stickler for safe vaginal and anal, but even I don’t bother with condoms for oral… As for things that don’t get left on the nightstand any longer, that list for me would include tea tree oil (GAH! not so bad in the moment, but chemical burns ensue) and that lotion with salicylic acid designed to soften rough dry heels overnight (YIE-IE-IE-IE!!!) ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/32 "2009-01-29T01:45:35Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > … that lotion with salicylic acid designed to soften rough dry heels overnight (YIE-IE-IE-IE!!!) Well, salicylic acid is also used for wart removal… ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/33 "2009-01-29T01:56:36Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > Oh, and also, mangoes or highly acidic fruit. Not a great pre-coital snack. Oh, yeah. Learned the hard way that oranges are not a fruit to “play” with in bed. Didn’t bother him too much, but me! OOOWWWW ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/34 "2009-01-29T02:22:59Z")
> [@MissIntent](#): > > Fortunately, I do know that. Oddly enough, the sex ed class I had to take in Florida of all places taught us that much. I educated several friends when I returned to Texas. > > We’re not using condoms however, so we have the opportunity to use oil if we want… Oils are also inadvisable to use on the female genitalia because they’re nearly impossible to wash out and can lead to infections. It’s OK to use them on the clitoris and such, but you don’t want them getting inside you. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/35 "2009-01-29T02:26:59Z")
> [@MissIntent](#): > > As soon as it stopped hurting, I was laughing too. And then shared it with everyone I knew the next day… “Aaaaaahhhh my dick is burning!!!” is what put me over the edge. Wasn’t it in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” that Yosemite Sam gets shot in the ass and bounces around screaming “My biscuits are burning!!!”? ---
**Author:** ![Nicolas\_Bourbaki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecc23a/32.png) [@Nicolas\_Bourbaki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nicolas_Bourbaki)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/36 "2009-01-29T05:22:40Z")
> [@E-Sabbath](#): > > [http://itswalky.com/comics/20090124icyhot.gif](http://itswalky.com/comics/20090124icyhot.gif) > As it happens… [Indeed.](http://i32.tinypic.com/287kffd.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341/37 "2009-01-29T05:38:36Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > Oh, yeah. Learned the hard way that oranges are not a fruit to “play” with in bed. Didn’t bother him too much, but me! OOOWWWW You should try a smaller one. But you do have a leg up on the old ping pong ball trick… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-warnings-on-massage-oil-bottles-arent-kidding-tmi/483341.md?page=1)