The shrine I see everyday looks nice for a week after the anniversary of his death, then the flowers die or if fake, get grungy from the passing vehicles, along with the teddy bear. In the pictures you can just make out a smiling young man and the notes are unreadable (despite having been helpfully tucked into plastic sleeves and taped to the tree).
By the time the anniversary rolls around again, it looks like a bunch of garbage taped to a tree, and the only reason I know it was a guy who was killed was because I specifically walked over there one day to take a closer look at wth was with the junk on the tree.
I have seen other ones, a cross on the side of the highway with flowers set out (or planted) at the base. It doesn’t look nearly so neglected. If someone takes care of it and they aren’t completely distracting, I have no problem with them. It’s the really big tacky ones or the ones that are only taken care of once a year on the anniversary of the death that makes me wonder. If you’re going to buy flowers to remember just once a year, why not take them to the graveyard?
Here, we don’t seem to get too many roadside memorials of the kind described by the OP. Or maybe they’re removed after a suitable amount of time. Usually, what one will see around here are simple white crosses at the roadside where people have died. What memorials there are, otherwise, tend to be small and go away after a respectable amount of time, though I have seen some silk flowers and ribbons well past their prime.
Our state also has some kind of program where you can have them erect a sign that says “In Memory of [Dead Person.] Don’t Drink and Drive.” I’m sure there’s some sort of fee involved with that.
Either way, I hope that the crosses and signs make those driving past think about being a little more careful on the road.
My theory is that roadside memorials came into being because of tragic events like 9/11 and the Columbine shootings. Massive memorials, with flowers, teddy bears, candles and all sorts of stuff sprang up to commemorate those who died then. Some people started doing that when personal tragedies happened more close to home and others followed their lead.
They’re called descansos and they’re a roadside memorial to the departed.
Here in Florida they are limited to state approved “Drive Safely” signs though usually the approved signs get all decorated.
When someone dies suddenly it is shocking and tragic to those who are left behind and for some people a roadside memorial is comforting and provides closure.
I think the custom has been around for years, though it’s gotten more popular in recent years. Personally, I find no solace in it. I have no desire to go erect a sign on the spot where we had the car accident that killed my daughter all those years ago. I can’t imagine that seeing that would give me anything but additional grief and bring back the hurt of that time in my life. I’m preoccupied enough about death without erecting a memorial to it.
The first I ever saw of anything remotely like them was in the 1970s - not the garish displays we have now, but discreet little crosses nailed to telephone poles. Dangerous curves had multiple crosses. Weird.
The first “proper” eyesore-type memorial I remember seeing was around 1983, at the intersection of Granville & Broadway in Vancouver. Lots and lots of flowers, a huge (and expensive) portrait print, and many hand-lettered signs and notes. Highschool students.
I fucking hate them. Who wants to be memorialized by litter?
On Fark a few months back there was a link to a story about how some teen got hit by a car and killed next to a blind curve in the road. That night, two more kids got slammed by a car when they were milling around on the street setting up the shrine.
As for the 12 foot cross mentioned above. I’d iimagine the city would want to remove any constructed thing that was built without a permit for liability issues. If a windstrom or something blows that over and causes another accident, there’d be hell to pay.
Yes, it’s a cultural thing. When Anglos want to commune with the dearly departed, they go to the cemetary and visit the gravesite. When Hispanics want to commune with the dearly departed, they go to the place where the person died. They are less concerned with where the body ended up, and more concerned with where the spirit was last seen.
I can’t understand why someone would want to memorialize where someone died tragically. Carrying this to its logical conclusion, I should go to the house in Houston where my dad had his heart attack and erect a cross in their guest bathroom… :rolleyes:
There are several “shrines” in southern MD and they’re all garish and weathered, and yet people get their knickers in a knot if you dare suggest they don’t belong on the right of way. I guess I should be thankful no one has died in front of my house, or I’d be mowing around such crap… um, no I wouldn’t. It would be gone.
Like Missouri really needs more roadside distractions. I don’t think the originators of the phrase “The Show Me State” had runaway billboard placement and scads of Death Shrines in mind when they coined the phrase.
When I was involved in an adopt-a-highway cleanup I noticed a small cross along the interstate with a name on it. I wondered if somebody had been killed there or whether it was somebody’s pet maybe buried there. Another theory occurred to me when I became familiar with “South Park”. The name on the cross was “KENNY”.
Dude ! That’s kind of harsh. For all anyone knows your grief might be equal to what I feel when I swat a fly or flinch some loud mouth idiot . I know this isn’t the pit but your sporting some pretty large balls there :dubious:
D_Odds is right. It’s become chic and if you don’t do it, you must not have cared much. We have places to gather to grieve. The side of a busy street is not the place to do that.
Yes, I do, but that’s besides the point. Last Sunday’s Sopranos episode touched upon it. Grieving for show. It isn’t enough that you are grieving, everyone has to know just how much you are grieving.
I’ve never seen any ridiculously big or showy shrines alongside any of the roads around here. I do see from time to time small wooden crosses festooned with flowers and maybe a laminated photo of the deceased, but nothing extravagant. Perhaps they’re more common in other parts of the country, as Tikki, who also lives in my general region, can attest to.
My question is, are these shrines even legal? What would the fines/charges be? Public littering?
My point is how do you know ? Many things about the Sopranos intrigue me. The biggst thing is it’s fun to watch people getting shot and whacked . You do know there are people who do this in real life , correct ? Hate and violence don’t just live behind the t.v. screen . They live in the shadows and in the broad light of day and worst of all in peoples hearts . Just like pain and sorrow. My short time of forty two years in this world have shown me plenty of all of it including love and sacrifice that make my heart boil with raging feelings of every kind. To judge someones sorrow and feeling of loss is so far beyond me I don’t know to put it into words. Least of all in this thread . Just my 2 cents.
That was my first concern when I was told about it. The cross is 10-12 feet from the road down an embankment, and they had permission of the property owner to erect it. If a car gets to where the cross is, the wreck has already happened.
Wha—?